<p>lammb66–good example of why a number works better than saying we will pay for 4 years or we will pay for tuition. That can be a HUGE range of dollars. Hopefully she can get the TA job. I hope she enjoyed her college years despite being so busy!!</p>
<p>Everyone approaches this differently and there is no right/wrong way IMO. </p>
<p>Here is what we did (D is a HS senior). </p>
<p>I established a budget of what we could afford to pay for college for each child. I included the stafford loans and the money I assumed each child would earn from summer employment. THat is the budget and there is no way for my kids to deviate from it. I won’t take out loans in my name for college. </p>
<p>The stafford loans are my childrens contribution. (Although I think we may just pay them off for them shortly after graduation)
Their summer employment will cover spending money for them.
The rest comes from me. </p>
<p>Based on this information, D targeted schools where she would get sufficient merit. She was successful as each school that has accepted her is within her budget. Now she has to choose between schools that will not require the stafford, and those that may require some stafford loans. </p>
<p>D’s incentive through HS was to make sure she was able to get the grades/SATs required to earn merit. </p>
<p>I am not offering incentives for grades. She is mature and knows that if scholarships are lost and we cannot afford school X any longer she may have to leave. I am not offering a refund based on scholarships. I have however offered a car if the cost is below “X”. </p>
<p>D has a problem that many of her classmates wish they had. Do I choose school X or Y and attend with no loans and a car, or school A, B that will require a stafford loan only.</p>
<p>I think everyone is different. We used a hard number as parents we would pay the equivalent of 4 years UC tuition plus room and board. None of our kids went to UC and they figured out in their own way how to deal with the gap. Some worked a lot while others were more comfortable with a higher loan balance. Our youngest got creative and his bill is under this amount if he keeps his grade based scholarships. Gotta figure out if he gets a check at the end which would be ironic since he will need it the least. I think it was helpful to all of them to have a skin in the game.</p>
<p>Here is my opinion (as a high school senior):</p>
<p>My parents have money set aside that would fully cover 4 years at a state school, 2 or so years at a private school (~100k) for my brother and I. They have said that they can also contribute a little each year, so $30k is each of our caps per year. Whatever is left over from the money is ours. If the school we want is more then that, we need to find a way to pay for it ourselves or take loans. I worked very hard in school with great scores and ECs. However, knowing this cap on my spending grounded me very much. Instead of doing the Harvard Princeton Yale Stanford Penn… route of my friends, I really researched schools that would reward me for my high achievement to cover the >30k cost (I did not want to attend any state schools in CA or other WUE states). I found a lot of private schools that are providing me great merit scholarships (possibly full tuition) and are truly better fits than the schools I would have considered had I thought my budget was unlimited (because I know those schools do not offer merit aid).
I am extremely thankful for my parents generosity, and even more so that they made me aware of our financial situation before this spring when the FAFSA comes back saying we have a 100% EFC, preventing my dream of attending some elite institution crushed by the cost. They also helped me realize that my hard work will be rewarded much better at a non-Ivy, and I will also be able to live debt-free out of college!</p>
<p>We had a lower overall per year figure. Everything over that would be loans or them working. That motivated them to look for scholarships, do all the studying needed to qualify, etc. The only schools that would be covered w/out scholarships for our kids was in-state, about $20-23,000. Since they both really wanted to go out of state, that was very motivating.</p>
<p>Both found schools and scholarships that allowed them to go without loans. (Well, younger hasn’t left for school yet but has a range of options that are in the budget with the scholarships she’s getting).</p>
<p>If they had been less motivated, they would have gone instate, which would have also been fine by me. Same cost either way for me–the scholarships went to the over $20,000 costs.</p>
<p>Older daughter is graduating a semester early. She gets to keep the $10k. (We didn’t use it as a carrot, she just decided on her own to finish early & mostly that is due to her taking a heavy load and coming in with a lot of AP credits–so I see no reason she shouldn’t get a bonus after all that hard work!)</p>
<p>I think your plan sounds fine, it’s great that you are formulating it now and will be communicating it to your kids. Many kids have no idea, even in senior year, how much their parents can or will pay–the parents don’t even know! Your kids will be in a good position!</p>
<p>I have said to each of my children that I will pay for undergraduate wherever they would like to go. I have encouraged them to apply for school and private merit scholarships. Oldest daughter chose SLU and loved it, and they gave great merit scholarships. Middle son is in community college which is fully paid for by a state of Missouri program. Youngest will start at Amherst College in the fall; it does not give merit scholarships or money for his being a Natl Merit Finalist, but he will try for private scholarships. I think that school is “their job” and want them to put all of their time and effort into their academics (although I do understand that some students must work to be able to afford college). I do, however, expect each child to work every summer in college to earn money for books and incidentals. My parents did the same thing for me and it worked very well. Not working during college did not dampen my work ethic, and it enabled me to put all of my time into my college courses and get into medical school. I know that some people don’t want their kids to feel “entitled”, but I can say that I never felt that way–just felt blessed. I had to get loans to fund med school, and that was fine. I have told each of my children that they too will need to get loans or TA jobs, etc to fund grad school. My oldest is now in a PhD program and funding it by loans plus her TA job and loves it! This is how we have done it, but I respect the fact that everyone looks at this issue differently.</p>
<p>We have only one child, but told him (before he applied to any schools) that we had saved, and would pay the equivilent of in-state flagship turition, room and board. If he went to a more expensive school, he would have loans at the end of 4 years. If he got merit money and scholarships that made the cost less than the flagship, he could apply it to graduate school. He got merit offers at two schools, plus local scholarships, so he chose the lowest cost school and has a year of grad school cost “on the books”. He looks at every single scholarship he gets now, as being money for grad school. He works summers for his spending money. We provide money for books and clothes.</p>
<p>I am in a different situation - due to financial setbacks when the children were in middle school, we knew we would be unable to contribute to college more than what we pay for high school fees and spending money, plus a little extra. Because of that, we encouraged the kids to invest time and energy in high school on activities that would make them well-qualified for scholarships - and we used the “little extra” to pay for those activities where possible. An example is that instead of putting into a college fund, we paid for an outside tryout-based youth orchestra. In our case, that put DS in better position to be accepted at a school with great need-based aid.</p>
<p>I bring this up here because it may be that your B- students (like my DD) won’t qualify for straight merit aid at many schools, but could start planning now for substantial volunteering or other non-academic pursuits that would qualify them for different scholarships, to allow them to put more “in the game” without high grades or test scores. This might be as valuable as a part-time job in high school - depending, of course, on the student in question.</p>
<p>We also have said from the beginning that there will be no co-signing of loans above Stafford loans. Although we privately reserve the right to make that decision later, we wanted the whole process to assume no loans beyond those, and not even that if possible.</p>
<p>Books I consider like tuition- do you really want them to skimp on them? I saved every amount D’s made in college - small jobs on campus, for a fund they can have after graduation to do with what they want- this was my gift to them. What they worked and earned did not go to college expenses but was theirs afterward. Granted they were very serious studiers who really had little time to work at all. We were fortunate to be able to meet the expenses of college. The scholarships went to the expenses with no reimbursement to them but they were aware they were contributing to their costs.</p>
<p>“But I don’t want to provide a 100% full ride with no skin in the game at all for the child. For background, I have two reasonably motivated “B+” type students and two “B-” students who need regular reminders as to classroom motivation.”</p>
<p>Makes sense. </p>
<p>“I am currently thinking of paying 100% of tuition / room / board (TRB) up to $40K per year (inflation adjusted for the younger kids) and sharing costs in excess of that (say 50/50). Merit scholarships / grants would be applied to reduce the net cost of TRB.”</p>
<p>Wait, what? This is the definition of having no skin in the game. Built into this is incentive to go to an expensive college (up to $40k/year + 50% of anything greater) and no incentive to go to a cheaper/affordable college OR apply for merit scholarships (doesn’t help them at all unless they choose a college that costs more than 40K). </p>
<p>Since you are obviously loaded & want your kids to have skin in the game, itd be more appropriate to cover 60-70% of TRB. Since your covering all the essentials, highschool jobs, summer jobs, part-time jobs, and subsidized loans would be more than enough for food, books, and the remaining 40-30% unless your kids pick colleges witho outrageous price tags or are all play and no work type of kids.</p>
<p>I think that is a very smart idea, especially since your eldest is only a sophomore, because it forces your kids to work harder and take high school & their SAT/ACT more seriously. I know that I studied a lot harder for my second SAT than my first because I knew then that a higher score would get me a certain scholarship at a college I was thinking about, and my hard work paid off. I also tried to do well in school because another college I was thinking about was very expensive, and I knew I would need to get good merit aid in order to attend.</p>
<p>As a student who is paying for college themselves I have to say that my parents forcing me to pay for everything in loans/Stafford loans/scholarships/my own money has made me all better for it. Do your kids a favor, make them work their tails off just as my parents have, you would be surprised the work ethic that will probably come out of it, as well as truly knowing the value of a dollar.</p>
<p>This is a really interesting discussion-- obviously a very personal process based on your own finances, your child’s motivation and personality, and future goals. We are lucky to be able to pay for our kids to go where they want (but GULP! Twins!), though we have said that any merit they receive will help fund grad school, otherwise on them. One D is pretty confident she will want med school, so she is motivated to focus on high-merit undergrad options, with a couple of full pays thrown in. Other D is less sure of future plans but options are balanced between high merit and high rankings. Both are high achievers without any incentives from us, so we are lucky on that score too. Visiting full tuition merit schools soon for 2nd time. Waiting on competitive merit decisions with crossed fingers. Waiting on no-merit Ivies. In the end, the decision and consequences are theirs.</p>
<p>this guy as his/her head on straight</p>
<p>My parents told my brother to graduate in 3 years (bachelor’s) and they’ll pay for everything. Otherwise he has to pay for the 4th year.</p>
<p>Who’s on the hook for the student fees you haven’t calculated in yet?</p>
<p>aperry - RIGHT ON!</p>
<p>We agreed early in our marriage that we don’t pay for college or weddings. We’ll “help”, we’ll offer support, we’ll help research, guide, etc. - but the kids are expected to fund grown up activities on their own. That sounds harsh on the surface, but both of us paid for our own, and we think it made us stronger and better students than a lot of our peers.</p>
<p>It has encouraged our kids to work VERY hard in high school both academically and vocationally. They have saved their money, they have landed scholarships and some special loans with awesome terms. </p>
<p>Now, that being said, the cost of college isn’t what it was when we went to school. It’s insane how much it costs. So, after she has expended a reasonable portion of her savings towards the school year, scholarships, special loans, and government loans that I don’t cosign for, we pick up the difference. It’s usually less than $1000/semester. She usually has $1500 in her account for personal use per semester. She uses that for incidentals, gas money, eating out ocassionally, and has used it for mission trips during spring break.</p>
<p>D1 had to leave college - didn’t go well. D2 is doing VERY WELL - 3.76 gpa, halfway through sophomore year, managing her money well, just doing great. D3 starts in the fall. So far she only has $1750/semester in scholarships, we expect that she will receive $3000/semester in “special loans”. We’re hopeful for at least $3000 in local scholarships for her first year. At the end of the summer, she’ll have savings enough to cover the rest needed for the first semester. So she’ll have to take a little in government loans to cover the second semester. If things go well, future co-op opportunities will cover her school costs from then on.</p>
<p>Most parents just tell kids “you can’t go to school A or B because they are too much money”. I do not think cost-sharing is fair, unless you mean the obvious that student loans will have to be paid back by your child.</p>
<p>If you really want your child to “pay their fair share” they have to be emancipated from you. You will have to foot the bill in some way otherwise.</p>
<p>I wonder how many people who ask this question had their college paid for by their parents. Honestly, if I have to get a low-paying job at the university my son attends so he can get free tuition, I will, because my parents paid for my college.</p>
<p>And how much money do you expect them to earn at a summer job? By the time I graduated college, I had $6,000 in the bank, which I used for a down payment on my husband’s car and deposit on an apartment for us both. He had nothing because he had full grants and financial aid. That $6,000 was from working every summer since I was 14, including during college. </p>
<p>If you are piddling over $5,000 more per year, you have to be honest with your child that you can only afford certain schools, and that’s that. Asking them to pay, when really you are talking about two summers of work, is ridiculous. Spend the time to find scholarships, or maybe even take college off the table. A college education at a crappy school, with grades of B- or B+ is not worth much.</p>
<p>Not sure what you mean by cost sharing not being fair. You don’t believe a child should pay anything towards his college?</p>
<p>How should parents get a low-paying job at their child’s college? Most colleges are not in the parent’s backyard, and most parents already HAVE full-time jobs.</p>
<p>My daughter finished high school with $6000 in the bank saved for college. She works every summer and saves about $4000 per summer.</p>
<p>I will probably pay back the loans that my kids have that are larger, but have very special terms regarding interest, and my kids will pay back their smaller government loans.</p>
<p>A 4-year degree with a B average at what a lot of people would call a “crappy” school is actually worth about $60,000 starting pay.</p>
<p>Not bad, actually…especially if the kid was able to do it mostly himself with summer jobs, scholarships, and a few loans.</p>
<p>An A average in a technical field from a decent flagship which doesn’t really cost much more than your “crappy” school can yield $80,000 starting pay. And some of those kids have full time summer co-ops that pay $25-$30/hr.</p>
<p>Sooo…just saying.</p>
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<p>That may be an overestimate of expectations of starting pay, especially if “technical field” is not carefully defined. For example, many people think that all STEM majors have good job and career prospects, but biology majors would be very lucky to come up with a $60,000 job at graduation, according to the <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/internships-careers-employment/1121619-university-graduate-career-surveys-4.html#post15425078[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/internships-careers-employment/1121619-university-graduate-career-surveys-4.html#post15425078</a> .</p>