<p>Somemom, it’s a destination wedding (about six hours by car) and many people from our area are going. People coming from all over. I did not expect to be invited at all. It’s just a weird facebook dynamic. It feels like high school all over again – that feeling like you didn’t make the the cut to being one of the popular kids.</p>
<p>UCSD Dad, about seven years ago, my elementary school staged a reunion via finding each other on the Internet. Most of us hadn’t seen each other in almost 30 years. A lot of the women were completely recognizable and a lot of the men were not. I wonder if it’s because guys still do a lot of maturing physically after high school but girls faces don’t change too much other than aging. Also, seeing guys who were adored for their thick head of hair who were now bald was kind of weird.</p>
<p>MimK that is mean girl behavior for sure…since they know everyone sees it . That’s why they are FB friends and not real friends, ha ha!</p>
<p>That’s the weird thing BalletMom. These are really wonderful people, many of whom are real life friends of my kids and/or of me. I think it’s just that they are not thinking it through. I don’t think it’s mean girl or mean boy behavior. I think it’s being caught up in something exciting and wanting to share it in the medium that feels most comfortable to them and that there is a disconnect about who sees it and how they might feel. A lot of them are young people. I have one friend whose daughter recently married (we were not invited.) She posted a few times about finding a dress, losing weight for the wedding, and a couple of other things and then posted pics of the wedding. But it didn’t have the same feel to it – it was the right amount of sharing for public consumption.</p>
<p>OP, see if you can manage your settings in a way that will let you enjoy FB more. You can unfriend people and they won’t be notified. You can also choose to hide their news. That way you can visit their page if you want to, but you won’t be bombarded with their seemingly fabulous lives. You can also choose to exclude certain friends from your wall posts. Or your photos.</p>
<p>I’ve done all of these things for various reasons. Some people, I want to stay friends with, but I don’t really want them seeing my photos. Some other people have 4000 friends and I don’t need to see all that chatter. And finally, like you, I have friends who have such a seemingly fabulous jet-setting life, that it’s just better if I don’t know. </p>
<p>I post lots of garden and nature photos. Also goofy pictures of my dogs and kids. Find more like minded people and enjoy! Recently, a good friend of mine reconnected with a cousin of mine and they hadn’t seen each other in 30 years. It was a great privilege to witness. That’s what FB is all about!</p>
<p>mim - I bet young people wouldn’t so easily be guilty of this faux pas. I’ve seen my girls participate in big group discussions like this - BUT they are messages sent among 5 or 6 people, or a class-size group. Not general wall posts. For a wedding like this, they should keep their discussions and celebrations private. They are probably ignorant of the pain it could cause others - stupidly so.</p>
<p>I do enjoy FB. I have reconnected with people that I have not seen in years and have had more contact via that medium with people who are close (geographically) than I probalby would have otherwise, as this person and I both tend towards insomnia and we have “chatted” at odd hours.
Couple of observations: There are definitely FB “whiners”…people whose status always seems to reflect some woe or the other. That gets old pretty quickly, and makes me NEVER want to post anything “angsty” . Thus I guess people like the OP might end up thinking I have some sort of perfect life…on the contrary, I just don’t want to whine on FB.</p>
<p>-on the not being invited to an event front: I am in the awkward situation of NOT being invited to the wedding of the daughter of my former “boss” (maybe you guessed from my screen name what occupation that person would be in, which adds to the awkwardness) …even though I hosted a shower for this girl! It’s an interesting thing and I am sure I will see lots of pictures of the event on FB. I really don’ t mind not being invited. I was just kind of surprised, I guess…</p>
<p>all in all, though, FB is great. If you are not silly about what you put out there!</p>