How big is your TV. If you want it in your room, then keep it in your room. If you have a Roku, your EarPods can plug into the Roku remote and the sound won’t bother your roommate. Last year we bought our D a TV on Amazon for her shared dorm, and her roommate bought a Keurig and a vacuum cleaner. The TV is 40" and was 200.00 with a 3 year extended warranty for $3.00. TV’s are cheap. This same TV is at Walmart now for $239.00. They can all go in on one that won’t break the bank. Aside from the stand being flimsy, the TV has worked fine. This year she moved the TV to her boyfriend’s room since he had a single. Here is a link if everyone decides to chip in:
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Changhong-40-1080P-60Hz-LED-TV-40-1080p-60Hz-3x-HDMI-LED40YD1100UA/44728150
What are the items you have already purchased for the common area? Just trying to get an idea of how lopsided this apartment-sharing is already. (I’m also in the camp of keeping your TV for yourself.)
D2 is living in an apartment with 2 other girls this year. There are 3 singles and each room is slightly different. They talked about who should get which room prior to move in. One of those two girls comes from a lot of wealth. She has no problem in spending hundreds for things in the apartment. The second girl kind of goes along with it and pays for it. D2 told them that unless she agrees with the spend beforehand, she was not going to chip in for it. D2 also has no idea how they could go through a 6 pack of toilet papers a week, so she told them that they were on their own on that.
I agree with some posters that my kids also do not watch TV shows on the big screen. They watch everything on their laptop. When they were sharing a room with someone, they had earphone on. I would keep your TV in your room.
@CTTC I’ve purchased the dishes, the cups/mugs, silverware, pots and pans, the mop/cleaning supplies, the coffee maker. The living room comes furnished, so my roommates are bringing (so far):
A muffin tin
An hdmi cord.
You are a sophomore and they are juniors? Are they repaying you for their share of the items you have purchased? I’d stop paying for “shared” items at this point until this is addressed.
No, they’re not-I had purchased a lot of them because I’m getting an apartment with a close friend next year, hopefully, so I figured it’d be good to have. I didn’t even mind that until one of them started asking for more
When my s’s shared items in an apartment, many things like pots/pans, silverware, dishware, etc were lost, stolen or broken or nasty/damaged to the point that they were thrown away after that year.
@OspreyCV22 wrote “So she got there first. Is she supposed to keep all her belongings in the common area and wait until all four of you are there to draw straws? IMO the university created a bad situation when they designed the apartments. Or maybe they are older apartments the university purchased. In that case the school should assign a particular room to each student. What happens if one pair of roommates destroys the bedroom they use? How does the school bill the proper pair of students for damage?”
For me this wouldn’t be that big of a deal unless the rooms are really egregiously different in quality. A few extra square feet on either side is not a big deal. I’d say pick your battles with this room mate or you’ll be fighting all the time.
When I got to college I had two room mates. I was coming from MA, one roommate was coming from WI, and the third was a local girl who got there first. Her mom had put up the most butt-ugly curtains I’d ever seen (it looked like a nascar flag had barfed on the windows), and to add insult to injury she had a matching comforter and had taken the alcove that had the most privacy. She’d also taken the best closet.
Being shy I sort of sighed and didn’t say anything about who should get the alcove. Roomie #3 arrived and immediately laid down the law and took the alcove away from roomie #1 because as a theater major she needed to rehearse without bothering us as much (legit).
The one good part was while she and roomie 3 were fighting over who got the alcove, I got the bed next to the window and would not give it up, despite her saying that she should be next to the window because her comforter (barf) matched the curtains (ack). Roomie #1 reluctantly caved. This was both good and bad for me to share the common room with her because she was quieter than roomie 3, but had a lot of boys over (blech).
The point of my story is that if it’s not going to work for you, push back. Especially since this is a 1 year deal for you-hold on to your stuff so it doesn’t become common property and difficult to take with you to the next place next year.
“I never understand why “university housing” would have a bedroom that is noticeably bigger. And if so, that rate should be higher.”
if the building is older or not originally a dorm it could happen. I have seen a old room with a short hallway to it’s own bathroom. it was not a nice building nor did it have any charm it looked like maybe it was converted at some point and that dorm room got a single bathroom with a short hallway. I bet many of the rooms in that dorm came in different shapes and sizes most with shared hallway bathrooms (always my favorite…sarcasm) but the same cost.
One of the older dorms at my school had rooms that became suites, but originally had a larger bedroom, for the student, a common area/living room and then a smaller bedroom for the student’s “attendant”. Well of course those days are long gone, and now these rooms are for 4 students: One in the bigger private room, 2 in the common area and one in the small private bedroom (with window onto the dorm hallway).
Saying no isn’t rude. Decide ahead of time what you can do. Don’t commit to what you don’t want to do and don’t give up your right to change your mind. Don’t offer excuses or apologize when you say no. Ask for what you want, but graciously accept when the answer is no.
Some helpful phrases you may want to learn:
- I'll have to think about that.
- That doesn't work for me.
- I've thought that over and changed my mind. I'm now going to...move my TV to my room...not buy the extra x, y, and z...
- We've discussed that and you have my answer.
It’s key that when the answer is no that you say it then stop talking.
Lots of urban universities purchased apartment buildings, and the suite/room arrangements are often unusual. Even some older dorms have quite a mix of room sizes/shapes/configurations.
@austinmshauri has exactly the right advice. These are good strategies not just for college roommates, but for life.
There is nothing rude about saying my tv will be in my room.
As far as buying things together for the apartment, make sure in advance that you know what will happen to the item at the end of the year when you go separate ways. My kids roommates generally had one person buying and owning items and took turns with purchases. Either way you are not REQUIRED by anyone else to share in expenses for an item - but if you don’t share in the cost then don’t share the item.
I don’t have a problem with 1st person choosing the room when she arrives. You can discuss changing at mid year, tho you may decide that it’s not worth the hassle of moving everything.
If you are interested in putting the TV in the Living Room, I would set groundrules. Tell them you don’t need a stand, so won’t pay for it, but you are willing to put the TV in the Living Room on a trial basis. Also tell them that you watch XYZ show at 9:00 on Thursdays and ABC on Monday but other than that they are free to use it.
Do NOT put YOUR tv in the common room unless you plan for it to be broken with no one admitting fault.
Another way to look at this is to consider the phrase, “it doesn’t hurt to ask.” The roomie wanted the tv in the common room, so rather than keeping quiet she asked because it doesn’t hurt to ask. It doesn’t make her a bad person to ask the question. The implication to “it doesn’t hurt to ask” is that you expect to receive either a yes or no. So as the person being asked, just say no. Asking the question only makes her a bad person (in your mind, not in reality) if you’re incapable of saying no.
Seriously, you’re going to need to get used to wearing those big girl pants for the rest of your life because lots of people will be asking you for things where you’ll want/need to say no. Another phrase to consider is, “Just say no.” Embrace it, love it, it will free you from a lifetime of anxiety. Seriously.
So, you have been pushed into the smaller room, purchased most of the kitchen items and are now being given the squeeze to put YOUR to in the common room AND expected to pay for part of the cost of the stand? Te answer is thanks but no thanks. Time to stop. Others need to step up. You are being taken advantage of.
Is there some kind of weighted housing lottery at your university? If so, I think the juniors would have claimed the larger room automatically. My best friend and I were in a 5-bedroom suite with 3 seniors - all graduating mid-year - when we were sophomores. They had beautiful, big rooms; we had tiny broom-closets. We had fared pretty well for rising sophomores in the lottery, but seniors obviously (and fairly) had priority. We all paid the same amount. You shouldn’t feel any moral obligation to share your TV, however.
“Headphones could be used with the TV as well.” That depends on the roommate’s feelings. I would not be able to sleep or go to sleep in a room with light flashing from a large screen TV. Might as well use a strobe light for a nightlight. But from prior discussions on here, apparently that sort of thing doesn’t bother most people. To some people, however, it is very bothersome. A lot more so than unmade beds or untidy desks.
Eye mask works.
D1 and her roommate invested in a shoji screen, so they could use their laptops when the other one wanted to go to sleep.