<p>It’s partly the driving age, but also other factors among teen drivers–being male, having male passengers, having any passengers at all–that contribute to the high statistics. So no, it isn’t my kid–a responsible girl who has followed the GDL rules, doesn’t speed, doesn’t drink, text or do other stupid things while driving. She knows what to do if a deer runs across the road, has a whole Midwestern winter under her belt, and has logged more miles in more conditions than a lot of older people.</p>
<p>The accident that totaled my daughter’s car two weeks ago was caused by an elderly driver–a member of the second most dangerous group of drivers. It happened at 11 am on a Saturday when she was on her way to work. If I had been driving it wouldn’t have made a difference. He turned left into the path of her car while she was already in the intersection. He was cited at the scene and his insurance paid for the newer, nicer car my daughter just bought.</p>
<p>We also have a high proportion of drunk drivers and people who have very limited driving experience but get licenses and cars while they are here for grad school (a lot of international students). </p>
<p>If it were up to me we would all live in a carless society where everything was on a train or bus line. Unfortunately, that is not the reality for a lot of us.</p>
<p>Of course. So responsible parents think long and hard about whether their kids should be driving, and once they are do what they can to maximize their safety. After going through this for the second time I would much rather (in most cases) have my child driving than someone else’s. My college-age son and his friends just drove eight hours away for their October break. I had to trust that the car transporting them was safe and so were the drivers. What can you do, other than hope they make good decisions based on everything you have taught them?</p>
<p>“the parent is actually DOUBLING the miles/gas when they have to drop the kid off, go home, and go back to pick him or her up later?”</p>
<p>Who says that’s what we do? While right now D at 14 CAN’T drive so I do drive both ways to drop her off and pick her up at school, when she is doing something with friends in their city and not ours, we stick around there until she’s done and THEN drive home. We’ll be doing that tonight in fact. We’ll have a quiet dinner, walk around, pick up D, then go home. A win-win.</p>
<p>I don’t understand the mentality of assuming driving is a necessity, even in a non-public transportation-friendly place. Adding insurance for a young person is EXPENSIVE, as is buying a car, even a used one. Then there is maintenance. I had many friends in HS who did not drive and they ALWAYS pitched in when I did the driving. Of course now, with the restrictions on teen drivers driving a bunch of friends isn’t even an option in many states and hordes of parents are driving kids to school events when in the past fr fewer cars would have worked.</p>
<p>When I was in school and we didn’t have a driver or car, we WALKED, yes in the winter, at night, in the rain, etc. It’s what kids did when car ownership and driving wasn’t considered a right. If we didn’t want to deal with the weather, we stayed home.</p>
<p>sseamom, why so judgmental? I said the parent doubles the miles/gas WHEN they have to drop off the kid and go back later. Not that they ALWAYS do. My daughter dances for as many as 4 hours on some weeknights and 5-6 at a time on the weekend. I have other responsibilities as well, so it isn’t feasible for me to sit at the studio for all that time. Not to mention, we are not talking about urban locations (I’m pretty sure you live in a city). There is NOWHERE to walk around at her current studio–it’s out in a country subdivision. I would love to have the situation you describe.</p>
<p>According to your parameters, because cars/gas/insurance are expensive, kids shouldn’t have them. Why not attach the same logic to anything that is “expensive,” like college? And why do you care how others spend their money? </p>
<p>I would never say all teens have the right to own (or even drive) a car. As I mentioned earlier, my son was never that interested in driving even though he eventually got his license. But he hasn’t NEEDED one. With my daughter, there is no way she could have pursued her dance passion at the level she has (or at any level, really–there are no studios that are accessible by public transportation) without us first hiring college students to drive her across town (when she was younger, her classes started at 3:30 or 4 while I was still at work) and later helping support her with a car of her own. She pays for gas and is expected to keep a certain amount of her work savings on hand for repairs. It is not a glamorous thing for a teenage girl to have to spend money on shocks or struts instead of cute sweatshirts at the mall. I should also add that there are very few jobs in walking distance or easily accessible by bus. She applied everywhere that fit that criteria when she was job hunting but the only place that hired her was out in suburbia.</p>
<p>I’m not being judgmental, but I really never considered cars or driving as “must haves”, even when I lived someplace with no public transportation. While NOW, I live in a big city with lots of options, that is not how I grew up. And I DID miss out, as did all of my friends, because not all of us drove or had cars. I think it’s great that you and your D worked out a solution for her passion of dance-mine dances too-I’m typing this from the benches while she dances at her church practice, then we’re onto another class.</p>
<p>But I work with too many people for whom a car is simply not an option, for any number of reasons. They make it work, even if public transportation isn’t available. Quite honestly, some have had to move or turn things down.</p>
<p>We did consider a car as a necessity as there is no public transportation where we live. Our youngest son played for an elite level soccer team that practiced 4 X’s per week up to an 1-1/2 round trip away, with traffic. He also attended HS in the next town-yes our choice to send him as our local HS was going through some major upheavals. </p>
<p>Whether or not your kids need a car is a personal decision and depends on what each family decides us important for their kids. Yes, I also lived in a small town w/ no public transportation when I was in HS and we did walk everywhere. However kids did not do the activities that they do now- I did not participate anything that was not walkable. I work and could not have gotten my kids to their activities w/o a car so for us it was necessary.</p>
<p>Cars are a necessity here if you want to work, do ECs, etc. While, in theory, it would be possible to bike places, it’s not practical considering it would be about an hour bike ride to/from my old high school and many of those bike rides would be in snow, sleet, and close to 0 windchills. Plus, if you do ECs like theater or sports which often require late nights, it would mean biking home in the dead dark often on dirt roads without sidewalks. </p>
<p>There are many, many businesses that wouldn’t hire you around here if you don’t have a car or at least steady access to a car. </p>
<p>We have no public transportation. None. For us, it was a necessity for me to have a car because I worked and my mom couldn’t afford to take off work to cart me around.</p>
<p>We don’t allow this. Not because of the money aspect of it but because we don’t think it is wise for a new driver to have a whole car full of passengers as soon as they get their license. I really don’t care if someone else can’t go to whatever because they have lazy parents.</p>
<p>I didn’t get my license until I was 18 because I didn’t have a car to drive anyway. Parents would not/could not buy me one, I couldn’t afford one without a job, and I couldn’t get a job without a car-- same situation as romani’s in terms of practicality. My parents actually forbid me to get a job until after I turned 18 because they did not want to drive me and did not want me biking in the snow. I took drivers ed and could have gotten my license on time, just didn’t take the road test-- there was little point and I just got more practice before I drove on my own anyway-- which worked out because I don’t think I was ready at 16 anyway. Eventually my parents agreed to share a car with me, and bought a “kid” car when my younger sister got her license, too. When the kid car died I bought my own.</p>
<p>I would never drive if I didn’t have to… I liked to the first few years but now that I commute not so much! If we ever have to move I will pick someplace with buses.</p>
<p>Proudpatriot, a lot of states offer graduated drivers’ licenses (GDLs) for new drivers. These put restrictions on the number of unrelated passengers who can be in the car (i.e., only one for the first nine months or whatever). Obviously the research shows that the higher the number of people in the car, the more dangerous it is.</p>
<p>I write this as I wait for my daughter’s friend who lives nearby to get dropped off so my daughter can drive her to a more distant friend’s house for a sleepover. This girl’s parents are the WORST about never driving anyone, and they have never once offered my daughter money for gas. Yet they are also the people who brag about having a villa in Spain with servants and a full-time chef. Nice.</p>
<p>My D did get her license shortly after her 16th birthday. She used my car, or was driven, to get to where she needed to go. She did work and was in several EC’s, so needed to get lots of places. There just didn’t seem to be a good enough reason to spend money on another car. Her school was about 3/4 of a mile away, and the grocery store she worked at was halfway between home and school. While she never had to, she could have walked either place if need be.</p>
<p>She ended up winning a nice 2006 Chevy Cobalt at her senior prom post party. So, she had to pay $600 in taxes for winning a prize and had a car to take with her to college. We pay for the insurance on it, basically because she gets the good student discounts and has not had any tickets or wrecks to raise the premiums. If the premiums were outrageous because of something she could control, then I would expect her to contribute. </p>
<p>S, on the other hand, is 15½ and seems in no hurry to get his permit. He could have gotten it at 14. His grades aren’t high enough for a good student discount. I will not be encouraging him to get his permit, which is required to sign up for driver’s ed.</p>
<p>Both of my boys were chomping at the bit to drive. They got their learner’s permits as soon and they turned 15 and headed back to the DMV on their 16th birthdays to get their licenses. We bought each son older model used trucks. Both kids played sports and had jobs at a grocery store that was open until 11p.m. Also S2 took classes at the CC college when he was a senior. On top of all that they both had a very active social lives. We live in a big suburb. There was no public transportation. DH and I both work. Sons could have never done all the things they did in h.s. if they couldn’t drive.</p>
<p>They paid for all their gas and did their own oil changes and other small maintenance jobs. We had no qualms with them driving their trucks to college. Since they had been driving since freshman year of h.s. (got learner’s permits in winter of ninth grade) and had a ton of experience, we felt they were more than ready.</p>
<p>Hmmm, I wonder if increasing obesity rates in the US have to do with the current cultural aversion to walking anywhere further than the parking lot.</p>
<p>I gave each of my kids a reliable used car when whey were in their 4th year of college. Both have been responsible and frugal with their gas. They both need vehicles to get where they need to go. S got his license at my urging when he turned 20 and D after she turned 21. GPS and google maps on smart phones make navigating safer and easier than ever, especially in big cities, where both drive.</p>
<p>When S’s car started having problems, he disposed of it and was prepared to buy a new one when he inherited one from a beloved relative. It has only 25k miles on it and has been well maintained, even though it is about a decade old.</p>
<p>ucb, you should read The Geography of Nowhere by James Howard Kuntsler or, if you can find it, watch the movie Radiant City. Suburban sprawl has done a lot to undermine communities both on an individual and a collective level, in my opinion.</p>
<p>I can understand why many middle class kids aren’t driving as much. Gas is just too expensive. If they aren’t earning enough to cover the costs, and their parents can’t pay for their gas, then…</p>
<p>Frankly, as gas prices have increased, I’ve been surprised that many ADULTS with modest incomes can afford to fill their tanks each week.</p>