Your stats are high enough for you to apply to schools such as Cornell and Vanderbilt, etc… but your parents can’t or won’t pay for them. Join the club… there are MANY in your situation. This is not unique… At all. Geneseo, Binghamton, Stony Brook and Buffalo honors colleges are filled with these students. You may also qualify for the NYS stem award if you are interested- that’s an extra few thousand to put toward school.
You need to apply to some SUNY schools. You may also get merit aid to schools such as Alabama, Pitt, Case Western, Ohio State, Lehigh ( you need to show a tremendous amount of interest), Lafayette, Michigan State, Tulane… I am sure there are more. What will your mother contribute? That will determine how much merit you need - put in an app to Alabama.
Throw in a few competitive scholarship apps to schools such as Vanderbilt, Duke, Emory etc…but recognize that these are incredibly difficult to get. If you don’t get the scholarship and don’t get enough FA… You will have to walk away from these schools. You will not be the first- this happens all the time. Students turn down these schools every year because they can’t pay their EFC. “Lower” schools are packed with students such as yourself.
How much will your mother pay every year towards your college expenses? Right now you have $10,000 from your father and a $5500 Stafford loan. Will she contribute about $8000 -$10,000 a year for a school such as Binghamton? The smaller SUNYs cost a little less and would require a smaller contribution.
Be glad that you live in a state where you could attend a college for $20,000 a year. My daughters friend went to Geneseo and is now in medical school.
You have a lot of options - and you need to recognize that the four years go by fast. Keep your eye on the bigger picture. And please don’t think you need special considerations because your mom “only” makes $140,000 a year.