@mathmusicmadness I had a three page reply prepared and then hit delete. I remember now why I never posted the FA equivalent to SevenDad’s post. In order for it to be useful the information needs enough context to be meaningful but that crosses the line with what I’m are comfortable sharing. I’ll try to give you a brief version here that hopefully is helpful. My situation has changed over the years as my W2 varies year to year, and my employers stock has done very well in the last 36 months.
I have 3 kids. DS1 is now in his first year of college. DD received multiple BS admits last admission cycle but decided to stay at the LPS where she is a sophomore, and DS2 in in 8th grade and just finished his BS applications.
Five years ago DS1 applied to SPS, Andover and Exetert when he was an 8th grader. We applied for FA at each school. The result was 3 waitlists and he never made it off the waitlist. I had little interaction with the FA office, just submitted our paperwork. Our EFC was around 3/4 of tuition.
Four years ago DS1 applied to Andover, Exeter, Loomis, and Peddie. Our EFC was again around 3/4 of tuition We varied our FA approach, and had detailed conversations with the FA office at each school. We eliminated SPS from consideration. At Exeter we applied as Full Pay. The Exeter FA office was clear that we would not receive any aid if we were admitted and that applying for aid would reduce our chances of gaining admission. We applied for aid at Andover because they were very clear that there was not downside to doing so. We also applied for aid at Loomis and Peddie knowing that it would lower our admission chances but hoping that DS1 was stronger applicant relative the entire pool. The results were: Loomis waitlist, Peddie Admit with ~20K of merit money guaranteed for all 3 years as long as DS1 was a student in good standing, Exeter admit as full pay, Andover admit with ~25K in FA.
Last year DS1 applied to college and DD applied to BS. It became clear that aid for college was not going to happen. I sold company stock I had held for years at substantial gain to cover college. Consequently this gain showed up on my PFS and SSS/NAIS raised my EFC for DD to be greater than actual cost of attendance. DD applied to Choate, Milton and Andover all with aid. I had detailed conversation with the FA office at all three schools and explained the situation. That is when Choate asked us to switch DD’s application to Full Pay which we did. She was waitlisted at Choate, admitted to Andover with aid and admitted to Milton with aid.
So your mileage will definitely vary. My biggest advice is to have an open dialog with the FA office. They will really help guide you through the process and they are open about what you can expect. And they are definitely more generous that colleges.
DS2 just finished his applications and now we just have to wait till decision day.
@RedSoxFan18 thank you for such an informative post. This is great information for those of us in this situation. Did your DS1 end up matriculating and graduating from Andover?
@MAandMEmom He did, and he is now at Penn.
@RedSoxFan18 thank you. I don’t work in the public sector so no stocks on my PFS but I’m a public employee with access to a number of tax sheltered savings vehicles. I do wonder how that will affect us. When you say your EFC was 3/4 of tuition, were you considering this percentage as a total cost of attendance or the actual published tuition amount? Total cost of attendance would include far more than tuition and boarding.
@MAandMEmom All of those things are approximations and I was going off of memory. Being fairly close by there was not a huge gap between total cost of attendance and room and board. We did not have plane flights to deal with etc. I made a deal with DS1 that he buy all his books used rather than new and that saved quite a bit. He also had a Dell laptop rather than a Mac - which had the odd side effect of everyone thinking he was full aid since Andover gives kids on full aid free Dell laptops and most everyone else has MacBooks. We also had some significant savings that I did not think about. DS1 played club soccer I think I save $3,000/year between club dues, gas, eating out, hotels for tournaments etc.
Yes @RedSoxFan18 my DD has done a club sport and our deal is that if its not more than double that we could make it work. It seems like the money is there and they will make it work for a student they want. To me, there seems like no rhyme or reason on awards so it’s got to be that niche activity, sport, or diversity that tips the scale. When I was first doing research I assumed strongly that awards are directly related to endowment and I now see that it seems that is not true at all.
Btw, and totally not related but $3k for club soccer is pretty good. My DD2 is joining a new club and the tuition alone is more than $2k exclusive of uniforms! Plus all those tournaments.
@RedSoxFan18 thank you for laying out your experiences. Do your kids have hooks that you think affected the awards?
This was more than four years ago, but our experience was similar to @RedSoxFan18 ‘s except we had better luck with Choate. EFC came back right about the total cost of schools like Andover and Exeter (which was and still is a little lower than most of their peers schools’). Among the four offers with significant aid, Choate ended up offering the most in terms of $ amount but considering the differences in total cost, Andover’s offer was slightly better in terms of out of pocket cost. They were very generous.
This Is a very helpful thread. Thank you @mathmusicmadness for starting it and @RedSoxFan18 for your very detailed account of your experience 
We were recently told by one FA Director (school shall remain nameless) that most schools meet and/or exceed the EFC. I suppose this is IF they want your child, to @twinsmama’s earlier point. Our EFC came in at less than 1/2 for tuition, room, and board, but I am wondering if this number takes into account plane travel; lodging, etc.? Or are those just assumed “you pay for it” expenses?
That what my wondering also @itcannotbetrue as college’s use something much larger as the total cost if attendance. I think I had found it in one school’s site that it did in fact include the additional costs. Maybe that’s where they get their flexibility with awards.
Typing this looking at the JFK portrait in the Choate admissions building. DS2 is in for his interview.
@stracciatella my kids were all student athletes and met with coaches. None of them could play D1 but could all play D3 in college. I think it might have helped some but DS1 was waitlisted his first try and that was with good grades and >90% on the Ssat.
The schools do consider the total cost when granting FA. In some circumstances they will even give the student an allowance.
GO CHOATE! Good luck to DS2. My son is a third former there, and daughter just applied for third form as well.
And GREAT to hear they consider full costs. Add +10k a year for two in BS + mom and dad visits from left coast.
BTW, we did not reach out to FA directors during our interview process with our daughter (excepting Choate via phone)…@redsoxfan18, interested hearing what you perceive to be good timing regarding personal phone call/additional documentation, etc.? We were waiting until the entire NAIS app was done…do you suggest earlier? Lol, remember we have a girl applying so perhaps a different FA bucket there(!)
Can’t believe you are at Choate whilst I type this. Crazy! PS–feel free to PM me should you have any questions about the school.
@RedSoxFan18 thanks so much for sharing all of that. Yes, interesting that AO encouraged you to reach out to FA folks early on. We didn’t get such advice. Makes me wonder… If it’s true that, generally speaking, BS are more generous than colleges, we’ll be all set. (That said, the college aid thing is all over the place as well.) I wonder if BS routinely read the “other considerations” section routinely (i.e. without prompting by family). Any insight on that? Again, thanks so much (to all!) for participating here.
Like college aid, people’s experience with BS FA is all over the map too. Of course, the very generous schools are far fewer than schools otherwise, so it’s important to know the potential and manage expectations at the same time. To answer your question about “other considerations”, I believe they do read it closely. The cases that reach the FA office and merit a close look is a relatively small number. However, how they interpret and respond to your words can be drastically different from school to school, and from individual to individual.
I will chime in and say that, now that all is said and done, Choate cost us about $60K/year when everything, including travel, was added up. As I always say, the printed figures are “merely a suggestion.” It’s good to know that the schools consider those extras in calculating FA. We applied, but didn’t get anything (from any school). We knew we didn’t need a full package, but had no idea how anyone who isn’t a household name, pays that kind of bill. Choate showed us how; it was a VERY painful four years. To those who say that their FA packages still allowed them to save for retirement and eat out occasionally, congrats to you on choosing those schools.
Good luck to everyone this cycle.
@ChoatieMom I am sure it was worth based on your past postings. Still hopefully supporting FomerChoatieKid for college years would be easier for you.
We joke about having daughter to get a temp job with a room at a restaurant nearby the school during breaks, to save travel cost and make some spending money.
@RedSoxFan18, echoing the thanks that others have voiced. The details you shared and your putting BS financial aid into perspective is very helpful. I am hopeful that future College Confidential readers will find your posts, too. @mathmusicmadness , you ask another important question, that I would like to answer, in the hopes of helping future readers (aka BS parents) as well. @RedSoxFan18 wrote something like “milage varies” when it comes to BS FA. That was our experience. My child ended up attending the same BS as @RedSoxFan18 's son, and she received more aid there than from the other school to which she was accepted. The NAIS indicated we would be eligible for aid if the tuition et. al. was above 50K, but, our actual aid was far more generous. It was still a struggle, but doable.
Here is what I want you to know, @mathmusicmadness, I naively assumed the same situation for college and it could not have been further from the the reality. My child applied ED to a school that does not offer merit aid, but is renowned for being one of the most generous when it come to FA. She was initially offered no FA upon admission. And, the sticker cost of high end colleges is about 15K higher than BS. I was in such shock for a while, I could not really enjoy her happiness (or appreciate her relief) of being accepted. (“Mom where you mad at me at Christmas?” was a teenager’s interpretation of this Momma’s stress.) I did appeal the decision with the FA office and we have since been awarded a bit of aid, but our out of pocket costs will be more than double what they were for BS. I would not trade her BS education, but just want to wave flag for parents to beware that there is virtually no comparison in the aid your child may receive attending a Boarding School versus a highly regarded Ivy or LAC. And even the school calculators may not accurately portray your contribution. :-@ :(( X_X [-O<
@CallieMom thanks for contributing to this thread. Son didn’t apply early decision to college for precisely that reason. (Early Action only) We had to be able to compare FA packages. His packages, too, varied quite a bit. I realize that mileage varies school to school (and also with comparing BS to college). Thanks!