I agree, @Sybylla . Might be same scenario if parents were still married. Some parents just don’t want to or can’t pay much, if any, for college. Usually, that is sorted out before a college decision is made . What is sad here is that the son has been a student there for two years , wants to stay and is understandably upset, and now may have to leave, solely because of finances. The family should definitely be first in line to pay for this, but perhaps Amherst may be able to help some as well. Son should definitely ask father for increased help, possible loan.
I would normally never encourage loans but with an Amherst kid who has good grades and an interest in consulting I think it at least isn’t crazy. The job potential after graduation is just so great. He can even try for a consulting position in a lower cost of living ( than NY) city where there are still big consulting jobs. A year of working at one of the bighies say in Chicago and living in a just ok Evanston or even skokie apartment could have him make a HUGE dent in loans.
The thing for people reading this thread is to take heed of the impact of a sibling and to assess the whole 4 years. It bears repeating that the math must be run multiple ways for multiple years. Maybe the advantage of CC is that you learn that before you apply. I totally didn't understand that the schools may not care what you pay for another kid, they might well be free and still help with FA at generous schools.
@DadTwoGirls Thanks for the suggestion of Canada. Yes, we are so close, and we have friends from France who’s kids attend there. It may be an alternative. I also called state schools yesterday to try and find out who is still accepting students fall semester. UMASS Amherst is only accepting applications for Spring. Other schools I have been playing phone tag with. I will reach back out for names if my student is interested in this option. He has refused to discuss this situation until Thursday this week, as he has a big interview Wednesday he has been preparing for…lots of emotion tied up in this.
@elena13 Yes, son will be advocating with his dad directly later this week. I have communicated with dad and have only gotten pushback that he doesn’t have the money. He may not have the money but he has the assets so we can hope he will part with something to make this happen for his son. Thanks for being supportive through this.
@UVGOT2BKIDDINGME maybe your son could ask his father for something specific. I don’t know what his living situation is but maybe if he is living off campus, your son could ask his dad to pay his rent and for his books. I know that when our kids moved off campus, it was cheaper than the dorms and paying rent is something that seems it can be broken up into installments.
My point about the study abroad was finding a program that was less than the parent contribution. If a study abroad program is less than the parents contribution say the $12,000 quoted above which is $11,000 less per semester than the OP is on the hook for at Amherst. Could they get the $3750/semester that he is eligible for in Stafford loans? Since that is available for everyone and is a federal program. That would make the net cost $8250.
Maybe my math is all off, it’s not my forte.
@Sybylla and @sevmom I couldn’t agree more that it’s a grey area. Maybe even black and white for Sybylla. Obviously when people remain married, they continue to make joint decisions, that ability often is lost when divorce is a part of the equation. I allowed my son to choose what school he went to for college based on what our financial package was at the onset, not realizing the price tag would double when my oldest graduated. My ignorance and naiveté. I own that.
I also have been in the dark regarding my ex’s income and assets. These are not things he shares as we are divorced and now that his financial situation is dramatically impacting my son’s financial aid, I have a better understanding of what the big picture is. We submit our CSS profile separately. I knew he had a rental property, I didn’t know he had two until recently. I knew he had been laid off, I didn’t know until yesterday he received a severance package. So, my decision to support my son in going to Amherst, was done so without the benefit of fulling understanding “our” financial situation. Now I am up against a brick wall, trying to figure out how this can be resolved.
And for clarity all around, my son would be happy to pay either myself or his dad back for college expenses. He has offered to do so for me with what I have already contributed. I have passionately declined his offer as I derive so much pleasure from supporting my kids in going to college. I have never resented one dime I have spent on their college educations. That said, I just can’t foot the current bill. If it is necessary to take out high interest loans on behalf of my son, I am sure that we both will be paying them off as soon as he graduates and enters the workforce. Of one thing I am certain, my son will not burden me with this sole responsibility.
I share this as several people have express this as an option moving forward and I want to make sure that everyone weighing in on the thread knows my son’s overwhelming sense of responsibility in the cost of his education.
Do you have a younger kiddo who is college age? You mentioned this upstream…a kid who is choosing a trade route.
Can this kid do at least a year if his trade work at a place that awards two year degrees?
This would give you two in college again.
I don’t think encouraging the younger child to enter an academic program just for the sake of financial aid for the elder child is a good idea. Kids who get dragged off to college- two year, four year, doesn’t matter- don’t tend to do as well as kids who go off excited and willing. What happens when kid number two fails to make SAP and drops out? That’s an event which will dog him forever- even ten years from now when he decides he wants a degree in urban planning or sustainability or architecture or whatever is related to the trade he’s studying now.
Kid number two should pursue the goals set out… as should the Amherst kid. If that means a gap year (with NO classes, just full time work) to live at home, save money, then so be it. And it doesn’t sound like the dad would want that as an outcome? So maybe that’s the discussion with Dad- take a leave from Amherst to work and save, or continue at Amherst with a significant contribution from Dad.
I’d hate to be the younger kid being used as a pawn in the financial aid quest…
Our local CC does a LOT of trade work training. Coming out with a trade and a two year degree (in business, arts, general studies) is a GOOD thing, esp if the D wants to one day run her own business. While her COA will be lower than Amherst, it should provide some relief.
DH took out a mortgage on his brain for professional school. No regrets on his part, though it took us a while to save for a house. Having two kids immediately after grad school (at age 30) had a good bit to do with that, though, too!
For a kiddo who’s doing well and is determined to repay parents, I think it’s worth the risk of taking out loans. It’s two years, not four. Big difference in my mind. And frankly, his job opportunities will be far better (as he is already demonstrating) if he remains where he is. His profs at a new school would not know him well enough to be helpful with job recommendations for the things he’s considering in the tight job hiring cycle, and those recruiters may not go to the schools to which he may transfer. (This is not the case across the board, but his intended field is pretty selective in terms of schools and level of applicants. My BIL encountered this when he was in college at a SUNY, and DH encountered it in law school.)
Has your son already taken any loans yet for his first two years? As @maya54 says, loans for a kid going into something like consulting (or engineering) may be doable, as long as the total amount is reasonable. Minimizing expenses after graduation helps (having multiple roommates, limiting eating out initially, prioritizing paying off the loans) in paying off the loans. Good luck to your son on his interview on Wednesday!
I don’t understand how a kid bright enough to get accepted into Amherst, who had to submit the FA applications and a CSS Profile, knowing his parents are divorced and don’t communicate with each other, wouldn’t have figured out that once his sister graduates and the family size drops, the FA would have changed. But I guess if his mom did all the work for him it is possible.
I understand that Amherst doesn’t want to lose talented kids due to financial reasons, but they shouldn’t be responsible for his cheapskate father not wanting to pay his share.
If OP’s son has to leave Amherst, it won’t be the end of the world for him. He is a bright, hardworking kid who will be successful, even if his path ends up different than initially projected.
Sounds like schools need to have a big disclaimer in bold print on first year financial packages- your cost is based on 2 kids in school and will increase substantially when one graduates. Everyone in the family seems to have missed this detail. Our sons were 4 grades apart so we never had any advantage there and ended up full pay for 8 straight years at our state schools. That whole advantage seems somewhat arbitrary (two that happen to be in college at the same time), but that is another discussion.
Yes, if son has to leave Amherst, it "won’t be the end of the world. " But, it will be very sad and disruptive. I feel for him and hope it works out for him to stay. I went to a lower tier state school decades ago for undergrad , and even that would have been painful to leave after two years of being settled, making friends, anticipating graduating with the friends I started out with. This is a very difficult situation for this young man and it seems to be causing a lot of stress for him. I hope it gets resolved soon.
“limiting eating out initially”
lol. The kids I know in consulting are earning huge money and don’t have to worry about “limiting eating out” because they are out of town so much that almost all of their meals are paid for.
Yes, when you’re traveling. But, there are differences in amount of travel depending on the employer. One of my sons gets free meals at work as well as a great salary and options so there are definitely lots of opportunities for good money, particularly in consulting, engineerng, CS. And he gets plenty of paid meals when he does travel. Some of this is employer dependent. The point is - some sacrifice may be worth it to get to the finish line with Amherst.
@thumper1 and @blossom Yes, Amherst stdent’s twin is not choosing college and won’t be attending to benefits siblings financial aid. Their two destinies are chosen by their own preferences and skill sets. This was also dad’s first and only suggestion to “solving” the problem, and to save himself needing to spend more. It’s strategic but not an option.
Also, Amherst might see right through a last minute plan like that to involve another sibling in a bid for more money all of sudden. Good that you are continuing to look at other options.
Maybe his father would be willing to apply for parent PLUS loan if son agrees to be responsible for the payments after graduation. It would be tragic to give up on a degree from Amherst halfway through.
Our CC is has a ton of trades as well. Not just academic.
There are also trade schools which are post high school and award certificates in the trades. These would also count as having a kid in “college”.
I didn’t suggest this kid take up an academic major, but exploring these other options might be good for kid 2 as well… the trade school option.
Step 1: Pull out all the stops to get Dad to cough up the funds.
Step 2: If #1 is unsuccessful: Borrow the money from ParentPlus (and from Dad, if he is willing). Student has to agree to be responsible for repayment.
Done. These are far superior options to leaving Amherst.