People can get ugly during college financial discussions which is why so few talk about them with true candor. There is an absolutely true element of unfairness to it all. At the same time, I have smart, hard working kids and if a small, well ranked private school wants them enough to help, we will take the help… though not without some guilt.
We are a family that has been well treated by the “full need school” (at least so far) in that our eldest is in a school that matched our EFC and that we can pay our EFC. The first year was a big grant. We pay less than most families but that’s not to say it isn’t a hefty sacrifice “for us” to come up with that money. The next year, she picked up a donor scholarship and a departmental scholarship which actually covered more than financial aid and so the grant was dropped the last 3 years. The donor scholarship is still charity but it’s at least merit based, professor recommended charity if that makes sense. She will graduate with under 6k in debt which is good because we won’t be the financial cushion that so many of her friends have.
Our middle child only has one acceptance and financial package at the moment but we were pleased that the “not full need… need aware” school managed to come within 1k of our EFC with the help of son earning an 80k merit award to soften the blow. We will see what the rest of the schools look like in March.
We have wealthier friends who I know are full pay. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t trade places with us just as I’m not eager to trade places with friends we have that get 100 percent of their college kids costs covered. We are in what I guess you’d call a “sweet spot” where schools seem to accurately access what we can actually do. I think it’s a narrow spot.