<p>You know some people try as you might, aren’t going to be saved. </p>
<p>I have this feeling she’d just feel you are butting in when you offer up financial advice. She’ll have a reason not to do this or that. This would be a better choice to look for a 3rd party to review her situation and offer help. She is of AARP age, they have good information and services to help someone just like her.</p>
<p>I think Opie has it down.</p>
<p>She asked me to look things over. Between my wife and I, I’m more the diplomat and my wife is more the firebrand.</p>
<p>I’m taking a day’s vacation the week after next when SIL is on spring break to go over there and look over some of the paperwork. I’ll give her some ideas and offer some direction.</p>
<p>She’s passive-aggressive, to be sure and may ultimately resist anything I have to tell her. I can only offer to help, but I can’t make her my mission in life.</p>
<p>Did she ask you for help or did you offer her help when she was lamentng her situation? If she asked you for help maybe that is her way of signaling that maybe this time she would be willing to really listen to your suggestions.</p>
<p>I would again recommend having her pull her credit reports so you can see what a lender would see. Also ask her for recent receipts for groceries and her various utility bills (phone, cell, water, gas, electric, trash), her car insurance policy which would provide you with amounts of covereage (deductable and amount being charged) and any other re-occuring bills.</p>
<p>And then her CC statements so you would know the current balance(s) and APR.</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>I think you go with AARP website information and show her the site to use at her privacy. Provide her sources to research. I wouldn’t attempt to go too deeply into her situation unless she offers it up. Even then, be careful as her situation will now become “what you told her”, even if you didn’t. It will be what you told her, based on what she chose to hear. Also be aware you may be setting yourself for a houseguest.</p>
<p>Houseguest!</p>
<p>My wife and I are in agreement that’s not going to happen. Between the two of us, we have plenty of relatives who probabably will need a place to stay (eventually) and we can’t take them all in.</p>
<p>“My wife and I are in agreement that’s not going to happen”</p>
<p>;)</p>
<p>Ya never know. Never say never. People in these situations rarely see themselves as the main cause of the situation. Be sure that you are not setting yourself up to be the fallguy. By that I mean the one tagged responsible for years of not the best decisions, by coming in near the end.</p>
<p>I’m not sure if this has been discussed, but tithing (giving 10%) to her church is a lot to work into such a tight budget. I would think her church would understand if perhaps she donated her time instead of her income.</p>
<p>Also, I realize every place is different, but here in Houston, parochial schools tend to pay far less than the public school system. Perhaps considering a librarian position in the public system would be better than going back to something your sister-in-law doesn’t enjoy like teaching. Librarians, school nurses start at the same pay as teachers in our district which is about $40K. She shouldn’t run into a Scripture conflict working in a public school library.</p>
<p>And looking for employment at local colleges is a good idea mentioned here. Having a degree, she should be qualified for a lot of administrative positions. There are many positions for even non-degreed individuals at our universities that pay well into the $40s.</p>
<p>Another industry that pays well is (don’t shoot me) the energy industry. Administrative assistants and executive secretaries make big bucks. If she is open to a career change, this may be the way to go.</p>
<p>Good luck…you are a good friend to help your ex-SIL out like this.</p>