I’m very certain that neither of my kids has ever had the thought “I DESERVE for Mom to buy a new dress when I get married.” Also, if you need a dress scorecard to tell the weddings apart, you’re doing it wrong.
I get this is a common point of view, but for the life of me, I don’t get why.
At my son and dil’s wedding her grandmother wore a dress that she wore at her grandson’s wedding. Ninety-five years old and still ticking. Grandmother felt that she wouldn’t get enough use for a new gown. Mother of the bride refused to get something new. How do I know this? I’ve seen her in that outfit before. Guess what? Not one person said anything about dress repetition.
^ ^^ I don’t get the issue with that (rewearing of dress to multiple adult children’s weddings) at all. I did consider rewearing my MOB dress from D’s wedding to S’s wedding, especially as I recalled S’s then girlfriend, subsequent fiancée and now wife, really liking it. I would have asked her how she would feel if I wore the same dress – bet she would have been OK with it, as she is very practical (wore a bridesmaid gown to prom one year). But I did find a dress that I thought went better with her color theme, so spared everyone that potential controversy.
Frankly, I don’t at all “get” any issue with repeating outfits. Go with what works for you – again and again, if you can!
Most people are more concerned with what they themselves are wearing than what other people wear (IMO).
IMO, it depends on the context. If that person always goes out of the way to shop for special occasion clothes but wears the first thing that fell out of the closet to someone’s special day, it could signal disrespect or disapproval.
If I ever paid hundreds of dollars for a dress, I would be wearing that dress to every occasion for the rest of my life!
Well, call me vain or shallow, but for me, what I wear to an important event is very significant. There is, to me, a lot going on with what I choose. For example:
A couple of weeks ago I went to the bridal shower for a daughter of a good friend. It was a fancy lunch at a very trendy restaurant in my very trendy town. I purposely selected what I refer to as “a lady’s dress.” It was conservative, with a jewel neckline; solid blue color; all lace (cotton), but lined. Sleeveless. I wore it with – what else?? – pearls and low heels. IMO, I looked appropriate.
When I arrived I realized many of the other women were wearing very very casual – denim tops, pants with tunics, and the like. However, both the bride, her maid of honor and the MOB were all wearing lovely lady’s dresses too. At first I thought I had overdone it – but when I consider what the main characters were wearing, I think I was actually right on target.
I’m now struggling to decide what to wear to my son’s rehearsal dinner in two weeks. I thought I had it all nailed down but I’m beginning to think the dress is too attention-getting, so I’m thinking of toning it down. I have several things that are suitable. I just need to figure it out.
To me, this stuff matters.
If it’s your S’s rehearsal dinner, I’d trust your instincts and wear what you intend. As MOG, you can and should dress nicely.
I’m having trouble with this thread today. You know when you go to funerals, sometimes the family has photo collages of the deceased? At a funeral this morning there was one showing my friend in the dress she bought for her daughter’s wedding. Which is next month, so she never got to wear it. But it was stunning, and her daughter has that picture.
Hard to make a rational decision about all of that today, but I think my answer for a future MOB dress is to go for something wonderful, even if it costs a lot and I only get to wear it once. I can always donate or sell it if there is no reasonable expectation I’ll wear it again.
Thanks, @HImom . I will of course dress nicely. I’m just trying to figure out whether I should be nicely dressed but relatively conservative (I have a red flannel wool sleeveless sheath that I look great in, plus the conservative blue lace dress I wore to the bridal shower), and then I have this that I originally planned to wear:
https://www.halebob.com/shop/emery-a-line-dress-teal-con
It is a lot more attention-grabbing, and I don’t want to make the bride or the MOB feel overshadowed.
Opinions, please!
Usually the rehearsal dinner is considered the groom’s family’s event, right? So whoever is paying for what in this wedding, I think you as the MOG should wear what makes you feel great to the rehearsal dinner.
Also, thank you for the term “lady’s dress.” I have never heard it before, but it was immediately clear what you meant.
@VeryHappy @garland @JEM - the dress was lovely. A crochet ivory dress with an underdress. Knowing my MIL she still has it in her closet. My MIL in a wonderful woman and I have been extremely lucky to have her in my life. She is also someone who doesn’t get rid of things so has a huge walk in closet full of clothes and shoes. The grandkids love it. While I wouldn’t wear the same dress to all my kids weddings I didnt have a problem with her doing so. My MIL is extremely generous to me, her children and her grandchildren.
@VeryHappy the print dress is lovely.
@VeryHappy I love that dress! When you said attention getting I was expecting it to show a lot of skin 
my only concern would be that solid colors tend to look better in photos.
Thanks. As this is for the rehearsal dinner, I’m less concerned about pictures.
VeryHappy: You must have a stunning body. The dress is Pucci like…and great…for a different occasion.
This is me, but I just wouldn’t want to be in D1 & D2’s wedding photos wearing the same dress. It would just be too weird to have those pictures in my living room.
MomofJandL: I send you and the family my condolences.
SorryVeryHappy: your dress is for the rehearsal dinner? Rock it!
VH. I like that dress
@VeryHappy wear that dress! You are the hostess that night…so go for it. It’s a fun dress…and that’s what matters.
Thank you all.
@bevhills: I wouldn’t exactly say I have a “stunning body,” but I am petite and slim, and the sheath-styles look good on me.
I like the Pucci reference.