<p>I’m with Mom2. Perhaps this could be a ■■■■■ post by a bored college kid. But Luis, I read you as a guy who became a dad in his late 30s, and genuinely wants to know how to provide his young kids options that he never had. And if that’s close to accurate Luis, you’re a good man.</p>
<p>Stay on good terms with your co-parent. Ideally, stay married. But if you cannot do that, at least keep things amicable.</p>
<p>Love them. Let them enjoy their childhood. Encourage imaginative play. Less time watching TV/video games and more time engaging in play and outdoor activities. A cardboard box can be so much more than a cardboard box–show them this. A blanket can be turned into a fort.
Scrap wood can be turned into a club house or gravity powered go cart. Pots and wooden spoons can be a drum set. A wooden spoon can be a microphone. Blocks can be built into anything your imagination can imagine. </p>
<p>Encourage play and exploration. Encourage athletics for the sheer joy, physical activity, friendships, discipline, learn sportmanship (learn form losses and win with class), and teamwork. Don’t lose the joy by expecting them to be the best in the hopes of an athletic scholarship.</p>
<p>Teach them how to be good men by example. You and your actions will teach them much more than anything they can learn in a book. Show them tolerance and acceptance. Show them ambition and dedication. Show them how to treat others.</p>
<p>Dinner time should be a special time. Sit down together and use this time for discussions and fun conversations. Encourage each member of the family to join into the discussion.</p>
<p>Answer their questions honestly. If you don’t know the answer to a question, admit to them that you don’t know the answer, but tell them you will research the subject and get back to them with an answer. This shows them that it’s OK to not know the answer to something but one can research the subject and find out the answer. Show them that learning for the sake of learning can be very fulfilling. </p>
<p>Talk, talk, talk. More importantly, really listen to what your kids have to say. </p>
<p>Give them boundaries and expectations appropriate for their age.</p>
<p>Don’t ever compare one child to the other. Enjoy each child for their own unique talents. likes and dislikes, and abilities. </p>
<p>Love them, teach them, play with them, give them your time and attention, be their parent and not their friend (they’ll have plenty of friends, but only one mom and dad).</p>
<p>I guess what I’m trying to say is teach them the wonder of imagination through play. Value their conversations and questions. Teach them the importance of character and integrity.
Encourage them to engage in the world around them (rather than spend hours in front of the TV and/or video games). Show them the power of love. </p>
<p>Their desire to learn and to think outside the box will come in time with your encouragement towards them to explore and question the world around them.</p>
<p>Get your children into a sport, like wrestling. Duke has a wrestling team don’t they?</p>
<p>I wanted to thank all of you for your fantastic advise and to all the negetive comments of me being a “■■■■■” as well. For the record I’m not a “■■■■■”.</p>
<p>I just want to prepare myself now for my kids. Both of my parents dropped out of school in Ecuador, married young and began a family here in the US. Needless to say they were not involved with me or my brothers in our education, we were on our own while they worked. </p>
<p>I never took advantage of the opportunities that my HS had to offer and barely made the grades just to play football and soccer. I did the minimum and I regret that. </p>
<p>I do not wish this on my kids and I want to have a head start because before you know it they will be graduating from high school in a blink of an eye.</p>
<p>As a man of faith, it is my Christian duty to lead my family spiritually and academically. My dream is for my kids to attend college ANY WHERE. I will support them in anything and everything they choose to do. I love my kids and I will not commit the sin on turning my back on time and procrastinate, no way.</p>
<p>Again thank you all for all of the comments.</p>
<p>God bless you and yor families,
Luis</p>
<p>Wow, your command of the English language and writing has vastly improved since your OP.</p>
<p>Remember that as you raise your kids you want to pay attention to each school’s academics as they progress. Do not assume schools run by churches are best (I add this since you mention strong feelings about religion). You will instill your values in your kids- the way to do this is as in above posts- start with READING at this age. This means at least weekly trips to your public library, checking out both fiction and nonfiction from the children’s section- maybe more than 10 books at a time. You will learn all sorts of things yourself- so many books about different trucks, countries… you name it, someone has probably written a child’s book about it. You can create lifelong learners by instilling a love of reading.</p>
<p>Be active in your children’s elementary school when those ages come. Attend parent teacher conferences and ask questions about your child’s progress- both good and problems. Do not let the educational system intimidate you. This includes making sure your kids get any special help they need- do not be passive and assume it automatically happens.</p>
<p>In middle school your role dimishes some and you stay in the background in HS- still being aware of things but letting your children take on more responsibility for their education.</p>
<p>Years from now you will have a better idea of how your kids do with academics. Try to stretch their minds when possible. Visit museums- art, science, history… Expose them to music- attend performances and encourage them to play an instrument in school.</p>
<p>By the time they are in HS- a decade from now- you will have a picture of them based on knowing them and their school work. Encourage them to seek the after HS education that best suits them. This may or may not be any particular college, such as Duke.</p>
<p>PS- if this happens to be a ■■■■■ our information is still valid/helpful for any others reading these posts.</p>
<p>^^</p>
<p>Agree with your PS, so in that spirit:</p>
<p>OP, if you really mean it when you say you will support them in whatever they choose, then drop the word “Duke” (or any other specific college) from your vocabulary. Support, encourage, assist, love, guide – but do not make the mistake of pushing. Especially do not expect them to make up for what you missed. Allow them to find their own paths, which may or may not include elite colleges. </p>
<p>I’m also a believer. Regarding college, I had one constant prayer, when my daughter started researching colleges, when she applied, when we waited for decisions. It was, “Please show her where you want her to be. Open wide the door you want her to walk through.” And that’s exactly what happened; it could not have been more clear. </p>
<p>You don’t need to be worrying about this, especially when they are so very young. Be the father he expects you to be each step along the path, and then leave the results in his hands, knowing that he will make a better decision than you ever could.</p>
<p>Don’t worry about which college. That will come much later.</p>
<p>As others have said; read to them. And when they are old enough to read on their own, have them do so. Not just the “classics” but for fun. I read every Hardy Boys story I could get my hands on when I was young. If you are a good reader, it opens up so many doors. </p>
<p>Be involved in their schooling but avoid being that over bearing “helicopter parent”. Qaulity teachers are a must. Most teachers are good, it is the bad ones you want to avoid. So ask other parents about the next grade up teachers. Go to school open house and see what your kids have done and then check out the next grade up classrooms to see what they are doing. Matching your child’s learning style to a teacher’s teaching style is important. </p>
<p>Encourage your kids but let them stand on their own two feet. </p>
<p>And most important, let them be kids and have some fun too.</p>
<p>Actually…■■■■■ or not this is a valid & fun topic, and for some of us (hopefully not TOO soon) we’ll eventually have grandchildren in the same time frame.</p>
<p>So it’ll be about 13-14 years before Luis has to start looking at colleges. My goodness, what will a place like Duke cost, what will the whole higher ed landscape look like then?</p>
<p>And how does one prepare their toddlers for what comes? Yep, learning to love reading is job #1. Books & more books. And if a kid reads enough, he learns how to write decently. Contrary to another poster, I think educational software is a great tool. When my kids were young, I had them on JumpSchool and Broderbund programs on our old 286 computer before they could walk. They loved it & it dovetailed into more reading.</p>
<p>Have fun, Luis!</p>
<p>I would strongly suggest that the OP find a good forum for parents of preschool children. There he can find out some good suggestions for providing a stimulation and enriching environment for his YOUNG children. All the suggestions given here are good ones…but really, a good forum for parents of preschoolers NOW will be even more helpful (times keep changing…when my kids now 23 and 26 went to kindergarten, it was more play than work. Now it’s all reading and writing, and math reasoning skills…and very little play).</p>
<p>Worry about college at least TEN years in the future.</p>