I think you should involve your parents, even if they aren’t paying. You’ll still need their cooperation for FA documents, but more than that they are your parents. They know you. They might know that you’ll not like to be 800 miles away in a tiny town even if the school is fantastic, or that you’d do better in a city, or that your aunt in upstate NY would be able to help with transportation if you pick a school in a small town. You might like their opinion on a major or enjoy going along on a road trip to see a few schools.
If you’ve all decided that that it’s your decision, the tension should be gone. They aren’t paying, you are deciding for yourself.