french translation help needed (words on my new scarf)

[Mary13]

<p>^ Those are great!</p>

<p>In his book, “When You are Engulfed in Flames,” David Sedaris notes some funny translations he encounters during his sojourn in Japan. (In fact, the book’s title comes from the helpful safety instructions posted on his hotel room door.) Some of his favorites:</p>

<p>

-On an apron picturing a dog asleep in a basket: “I’m glad I caught you today. Enjoy mama.”</p>

<ul>
<li><p>On decorative paper bags a person might put a gift in: “When I think about the life in my own way I need gentle conversations.”</p></li>
<li><p>On another gift bag: "Today is a special day for you. I have considered what article of present is nice to make you happy. Come to open now, OK?</p></li>
<li><p>On yet another gift bag: “Only imflowing you don’t flowing imflowing.” (This last one actually gave me a headache.)

</p></li>
</ul>