^There is no “right call” or answer here. There are, however, different perspectives. I also attended HBS and worked for elite i-banks, private equity firms, have run ran companies, etc. @TopTier makes some important points regarding the way a college student’s mind develops while in university. Depending on the field there are doors that can be very difficult (if not impossible baring connections) to open without a degree from an “elite” university or LAC (there are academic studies supporting this that are discussed in other threads). However, far more important, is the impact that comes from rubbing shoulders with professors that are the leaders in their fields and consistently brilliant students. The student’s mind is opened and challenged in ways that are life changing, and the doors are opened for the student to lead the most professionally fulfilling (interesting and exciting) life available to them.
The frank reality is that your children only live once and while $200,000 is not inconsequential the horizons that open up for those able to attend a Duke intellectually and professionally (and, regretfully, even socially), generally speaking, are substantially greater than that for a student attending Maryland.
It wouldn’t surprise me if every student attending Duke not receiving a full ride could have received substantially more aid (including full merit rides) at other universities (my children certainly could have). They (and their parents), like me, value not just the brand, but more importantly the opportunities Duke provides to become everything that God created them to be and to pursue their interests at the highest levels whatever they may be. My wife and I changed direction in college and my son, who is a Sophomore at Duke, has already changed directions a couple of times and is likely to change again. Duke offers the opportunity to explore without the risk that your son suddenly finds himself graduating from a department that has no credibility in a university without a strong brand.
Often the case is made that the saved money can be used later to attend a top graduate school and have an “elite” terminal degree. This is a specious argument where a few outliers are used to prove the case (it is like saying that if you drop out of college you can become a Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Michael Dell or Mark Zuckerberg or that if you go to Maryland you can become a Sergey Brin (who attended Maryland because his father was a math professor there)). @i012575, you must recall the make-up of your HBS section and the vastly disproportionate representation of students who attended “elite” undergraduates. Yes, it is possible to go from Maryland to HBS, but the room for error on your transcript is far smaller, and your ability to have gotten the jobs that will be viewed as credible by the admissions committee substantially more limited. In my case a less than noteworthy undergraduate transcript together with outstanding work experience gained an admission to HBS. With a lesser “brand” on the application it undoubtedly would have ended up in the reject pile.
My final point is that as daunting as $200,000 may appear at this time, the difference in lifetime earnings from an “elite” undergrad versus others is likely to dwarf that amount. Obviously, this is not true for everyone (career choice impacts this), but it is for a substantial number (there are also studies supporting this assertion).
In summary IMO, the opportunity to attend an “elite” university is priceless, if at all affordable.