<p>Here’s a few that I posted on the Stanford board:</p>
<p>How many MIT students? One, but you have to wait for him to finish his problem set.</p>
<p>How many USC students? Ten: One to change the bulb, and nine to make sure he doesn’t get shot by gang members while doing it.</p>
<p>How many Stanford Band members? Three: One to change the bulb, one to Breathalyze the first, and one to deal with public outrage at the offensive way in which the bulb was changed.</p>