<p>If I wasn’t clear before, they are PSEC and PBA.</p>
<p>Thanks for the info - I’ll check them out</p>
<p>There are regular ads on the radio in my area from law firms that state that they can shield money from medicare when paying for nursing homes and I’d guess that they are advertising their services to those that are reasonably well-off.</p>
<p>I do know a couple that has a parent in a nursing home even though they are fairly well-off. They are just taking advantage of the government resources that are out there but I do agree that this sort of thing is what is causing budget problems at the state and federal levels.</p>
<p>“We keep our expenses low versus income and have LTC insurance for this reason.”</p>
<p>I wonder how stable LTC insurance is. It seems like it would be a great deal if you know with certainty that you will need LTC fairly soon. Otherwise, you could be paying a lot of money towards an unused policy. I also am concerned that since not many companies offer this product, that this will be something that they get rid of, and what if that insurance company goes out of business?</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.kff.org/medicaid/upload/7452.pdf[/url]”>http://www.kff.org/medicaid/upload/7452.pdf</a></p>
<p>States are supposed to step in when there are insurance issues. I don’t know how well they generally do in this area though.</p>
<p>Thanks for the compliments, Lerkin. Things just worked out that way. I do have a very large house, which was a very foolish decision at the time we bought and is, in many ways, a financial albatross round our necks as the mortgage/taxes on it are very high. But we raised a large family in it and our kids still come back often, the ones who are now away and have their own places. And with two octogenarians, one mentally disabled and the other physically so, moving is not a good option. We’ll keep my MIL here and get aides to help with her as she gets worse. Right now, I’m home most of the time and she is able to care for her most basic needs, so having an aid come in three times a week is more than ample. She has the money to support this, and she will be fine, or as fine as one can be in a nursing home if it comes to that. Also, all of my boys when they are here, help out both grandmoms as they are needed as they do love them very much. Plus my brothers are very much involved with my mother’s care. So I am fortunate as the two elderly ladies are in that there is a lot of support available. And this folly of a house is now housing another generation though not in the direction one would think. </p>
<p>But I do wonder as to what would come of someone like my mother, who is frail, but in basic good health. Can’t drive or walk any distance, no real community or family other than her kids’, to even think about sticking her in the low income places I’ve seen in NYC would scare me. Many are dangerous and anything even remotely not so has long waiting lists, and on her income, under $1000 a month how the heck would she afford to live after paying even the reduced for income rent? She lives for cable so we subscribe to a generous plan, but she needs help in groceries, cooking and needs to be coaxed to eat–barely weighs 70 lbs, plus I take her to a doctor at least quarterly. Her COPD requires expensive meds and with a vitamin regiment for her eyes and nutrition, the monthly bill for that alone is about $109 a month. What do elderly like her do?</p>
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<p>This question should not be about the elderly, it should be about the children. I was born and raised in the country with a lot of problems, but it was unconscionable there to put parents into nursing home. For the most part, only those without families ended up in nursing home. Children took care of the parents. Which sometimes meant sharing very small quarters (and being inconvenienced).</p>
<p>What you are doing should not be an exception, it should be the norm. </p>
<p>The nursing home my grandmother could have ended up was very nice. But it is a fu…g nursing home! My son volunteered at one and he told me that it is astonishing how quickly people deteriorate when they end up there.</p>
<p>If you are looking for a solution I have two-pronged one: attach stigma to putting parents into nursing home and at the same time provide a little bit of tax-payer paid help to children who agree to be caregivers (make it means-tested for example). It will be cheaper than current solution and seniors will spend their last years surrounded by their loving family. Every human deserves this at the end of their life.</p>
<p>My father at one point told me he would never go to a nursing home after seeing how others who ended up there just fell apart. He was fortunate. He dropped dead in his own backyard, completely independent at 94, never having been in a nursing home or hospital.</p>
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<p>Hmmm, but in the old days, didn’t people have much shorter periods of end-of-life disability? Relatively healthy elderly parents moving in might not be especially high maintenance, and may spend their days watching and playing with the grandchildren, so it works well for some families.</p>
<p>These days, it seems that people are living longer but sicker, more likely to require on-site access to specialized medical care that the children cannot provide, or have higher maintenance needs that could prevent caregiver children from having time to work and earn money to support both themselves and the elderly parents. The children themselves may be elderly as well.</p>
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<p>But isn’t it the case that nursing homes (as opposed to assisted living places or even cruise ships) tend to be entered by those who are already pretty weak in terms of health already? I.e. isn’t a common progression:</p>
<p>fully independent -> assisted living (may be with family) -> nursing home (when family care is less practical, or family is overwhelmed by the medical issues) -> hospice -> RIP</p>
<p>(Of course, DocT’s father in #169 managed to skip all of the intermediate steps.)</p>
<p>I used to be a waitress at a retirement home. This place allowed for independent living in apartments but I know they had nurses on site. I’m sure the place wasn’t cheap.</p>
<p>Sent from my DROID BIONIC using CC</p>
<p>In Singapore, they provide a financial incentive for single adults to provide housing for those financially less well-off including the elderly. This is in the form of subsidized government housing which is purchased at a discount to market. You can only buy these if you are a family or if there are two adults though. These things generally generate some nice capital gains down the road.</p>
<p>I recall that we had a change in government thinking where they could attach debts (private and public) to children, even if the children are estranged. We had a discussion on this quite some time ago as a few governments were testing this out. I haven’t heard anything about it since then.</p>
<p>That’s what my link said. The govt can and does go after assets. There are rules.</p>
<p>Your article is talking about the assets that the parent has or had. I was talking about assets of the children being taken involuntarily.</p>
<p>If the assets were given by the parents, then yeah they can be taken away. I vaguely remember hearing what you are saying, but I can’t remember the context.</p>
<p>Here’s a good article on “filial responsibility” laws:</p>
<p>[Will</a> you get Dad’s nursing-home bill? - 1 - eder care costs - MSN Money](<a href=“MSN”>MSN)</p>
<p>According to the article only 3 states allow third-parties to sue - Pennsylvania, South Dakota, and North Dakota.</p>
<p>In MA you can be held criminally liable for parental neglect ($200 fine or a year in jail or both) but there is nothing that specifically allows a third-party to sue a child for their parents’ debts.</p>
<p>Here’s the statutes for every state:</p>
<p><a href=“http://law.psu.edu/_file/Pearson/FilialResponsibilityStatutes.pdf[/url]”>http://law.psu.edu/_file/Pearson/FilialResponsibilityStatutes.pdf</a></p>
<p>Yup - that’s it - filial responsibility.</p>
<p>That’s what pillows are for.</p>
<p>What if the parent was abusive to you as a child or abandoned you?</p>