<p>Good points Allmusic. </p>
<p>When I think of the REAL dangers facing upper and upper-middle class families, home break ins, peeping toms, and kidnappings don’t really rise to the top. </p>
<p>Now if those gates could control drug abuse, alcoholism, domestic abuse, childhood obesity, car crashes and absentee parents we might be on to something.</p>
<p>I think those of you anti-gaters are being too dramatic. I’m not saying that we’re cowering behind the gates. In my case, the house we loved just happenned to be in a gated community, and now I realise how much I like it. My daughter’s best friend lives in our town not in a gated community, and because there’s a registered sex offender living across the street she can’t go out and play in the front yard. Who needs it? The way I look at it, my kids will be out of this environment soon enough, off on their own and god forbid in a gated community as young adults. But its a nice place to grow up. It’s not like we’re the Kennedys with just our house behind a gate!</p>
<p>I actually like fences- I like the enclosed feeling, and I like the way it provdes support for garden plants 
We have put off fencing our yard out of respect for our neighbor across the street, but she is now 93( showing barely any signs of slowing down), and one kid is grown and the other almost so, and I want a fence!</p>
<p>DKE–I respect liking the community, though it’s not to my taste. But I’m guessing that they don’t do background checks before you move in; what would make it less likely that the sex offender lives across the street from you?</p>
<p>We have been thinking about a second home to live in a portion of the year in retirement somewhere in the West (Montana would be nice). As it would not be leased out the rest of the time we have a hard time figuring out how to have some sort of security for the place when we are not there. A gated community would do that enough to feel somewhat comfortable but most are geared to larger expensive homes. We just want a 1500sf place in the woods or the like. We don’t want a condo although it might come to that. Anyone have a second home that they keep without getting robbed all the time or having somebody living in it? How do you do it?</p>
<p>barrons, there are property management companies which will provide that service. For ours, we just use a friendly neighbor. :)</p>
<p>This isnt quite as widespread as the comparision between private/public but I can see similarities.
My oldest attended private, and while we were very happy with it- there was a sense of being wrapped in cotton ( which isn’t always a bad thing, as long as you are aware of it and take steps to compensate)
Now that my younger daughter is attending public and an “inner city” public at that, I have a different perspective of what kind of experiences I think kids need. NOt that everyone needs identical experiences, but I have gotten into converstations lately with parents who are looking at private schools, and while they are very interested in our experiences with the particular schools our older D attended, when they ask where my youngest attends and I tell them, they just goggle at me, and if I suggest particular public schools that may also be good fits for what they are looking for, I have heard comments that indicate that public school is “not good enough” for their * special, special* children. ;)</p>
<p>Our private schools aren’t generally as expensive as those in other areas, 40K? I hope that includes a pony!</p>
<p>I don’t want to turn this into a private school vs public discussion, but I wanted to bring that up, because I think some gated communities may promote that sort of divisiveness. That to live “outside” the gates, is more risky, full of hazards that those " inside" the gates don’t have to think about.</p>
<p>We all are part of the same community and I wouldn’t advocate tearing down gates, because for some they serve a purpose. If they want to live where they percieve it as safer- more prestigous, less noisyt ,they should have that choice.
But I do wonder about those who actively choose a literal dividing line to live behind.</p>
<p>For people like teh Gates, who probably have “gates”, I don’t know, although I used to live about a mile south, I can understand more of the need to have more security, I know that where my d attended elementary school, ( and where the Gates kids now go), there are now gates around that property, but then it is also in an urban neighborhood that frankly gets a lot of traffic, both vehicular and pedestrian, and when there was a public grade school about a block a way, teh parents from my daughter co-op child care had to comb the playground every morning picking up bottles, rubbers and needles. Not really something you want to see anywhere let alone at a grade school.</p>
<p>When D went there, they did have fences, but not gates, and the fences kept the kids from running out into the street after balls ( and the local homeless teens from playing on the climber when school was in session)
The gates, though well designed, do change the feel of the school though for me, it feels like something that would be ina big city, for rich kids * not Seattle* where we still wear flip flops to the symphony.</p>
<p>This is a good discussion although I know it is off a bit from wondering about a gated community in a suburb that really doesn’t need one.</p>
<p>Gated communities are a substitution for white flight.</p>
<p>There are more african american families in our gated community than in the entire town that we used to live in in NJ so don’t go down the “white flight” road here.</p>
<p>Black flight is pretty common in places like Atlanta which has virtually all upper class black gated communities. One of the strangest political fights I saw there was over opening a street that would join low income and upper income black neighborhoods in south Atlanta. Everyone wants to be safe at home.</p>
<p>I think that actually, what’s growing more and more rare these days is economically mixed neighborhoods.</p>
<p>The more accurate term would be class flight.</p>
<p>You guys are right. My previous post was totally inaccurate.</p>
<p>I actually have no issue with people who want to live in gated communties. Whatever - people should have choices where and how to live. In a perfect world every city would offer a good, vibrant selection of both urban and suburban options. I just think that the sense of security is misplaced, that’s all.</p>
<p>At this stage in our life our goal is to find someplace to live where we can walk to interesting things like restaurants, music, markets, etc. But so far, we’re just too lazy to move. Eventually we’re out of the 'burbs though.</p>
<p>I think this is a class issue too, without a doubt. It just seems odd, and perhaps a little ironic, that not only do people want their McMansions and large lots (which automatically shuts out a lot of the riffraff) but then they want a gate too. </p>
<p>Because we don’t have such communities near me, I can only think about these in the way they are being described, which really does sound like communities tailored in exclusivity. Exclusivity in and of itself if one thing, but then adding the gate just exacerbates it, IMO.</p>
<p>I mean, I don’t love the solicitors either; we just don’t answer the door for them (looking out the window works great). No big deal.</p>
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<p>This is way off topic, but Garland, perhaps I met your daughter??? I had a very pleasant young lady come to my door a few weeks ago canvassing for support for a ban on drilling for oil. Needless to say, she didn’t get very far with me, but we had a nice conversation and she parted saying that perhaps sometime in the future there may be a topic that we do agree on. (IRL, I’m not the grouch that I come across as on this forum.) I was wondering if she was doing it for money or as a volunteer.</p>
<p>I dislike gated communities because it feels like an Us vs Them thing…oh, the world is SOOOO awful we must gate ourselves away from it</p>
<p>'We don’t want to mingle with the riffraff, we don’t want to have to deal with any issues, we don’t want to mix"</p>
<p>After three home break-ins and several car prowls that led to having a hard time getting home insurance, I had it with the good life in the city. I’m in a non-gated but very isolated planned community far from the city and enjoy the crime-free life so far.</p>
<p>I live in a big city, one car break in, but that’s it…but I would prefer the city, people, culture, variety, restaurants, shopping etc and having to be careful to isolation and small town life</p>
<p>but that’s just me</p>
<p>ou yeah, i got purse snatched with a struggle some years ago. ah well. but you know what, neighbors came down from every building, young men chased the mugger, caught him, the neighbors, whom I had never met, stayed with me, checked me out, the police walked me home, all in all, a scary experience showed that even city folks care about each other, and for that, I love my city</p>
<p>I loved living in New York when I was younger and had the strength to deal with big city life. In my 30’s I felt that the hassle wasn’t worth the expense, and I wasn’t getting as much out of it as I used to. It wore on me after awhile, I guess. The excitement waned, for me. H was the one who convinced me to move out to the 'burbs, and with kids I can’t imagine any other way. Each to his own, Citygirlsmom.</p>
<p>I had to laugh the other day when a good friend who lives in Brooklyn Heights called to ask me about our area. She gave me such grief when we moved out to Westchester. I never thought I’d hear the end of it. I said to her, “What about the hot new restaurants? the people? the food? Broadway?” and she said, “ugh…been there, done that. As soon as the kids are finished with school we’re OUT of here!!” I never thought I’d hear that from her! She’s taken up golf. I nearly fell out of my chair.</p>