I agree that social media may exacerbate the gender divide, but I see it as a reflection of the change women have experienced with the advent of birth control and access to higher education. Women are not dependent on the patriarchy. Women see their value outside of procreation. Family is being redefined.
Personally, I’m not threatened by the change. Realistically, there will be some worse off, others better off.
Actually, she did. She has a number of likeminded friends who also have spouses who feel the same. They are out there!
I agree that is the case if people are not on the opposing ends of the political spectrum. We don’t belong to those ends and don’t discuss politics with our friends at all. But political activism that is overwhelmingly promoted these days would not allow those on opposing end to have anything in common
Women can go to the sperm bank IF they really need to. Just saying.
Saying liberals will have no partners is, um, pretty extreme.
I’ve been with my H since 1978. I can’t imagine we would still be together if he didn’t have somewhat similar views as I have. We don’t have to agree on everything, but if H held the views my brother has, I doubt we’d be married. I love my brother, but I sure as heck couldn’t live with him & his constant need to try to make me see the error of my views.
And men can get donated eggs and surrogates if we want to continue discussing all possible scenarios. When my DD was at MIT they had agencies reaching to those smart women paying big money for their eggs.
I’m saying liberal young males are in short supply, as the data shows.
It was in response to your comment. I’m more hopeful about the possibility of compromise, I just think that more often than not it will have to be the women who end up doing that.
Isn’t the famous quote “you can be right or you can be married”?
I think nature will play some part, but it will not be to the advantage of society at large. The top tier men (looks, height, and wealth) will have no problem navigating this new reality and still get what they want, regardless of their politics. The “lower tier” men will struggle as this dynamic continues, but can find ways to continue their “biological imperative” by having more and more children out of wedlock with women who are not careful and those women will definitely have more struggles. There will be large subsets of men and women who are left out of the “American Dream” as it will be much harder to build wealth without a partner.
I have actually seen women struggle more with the psychological impacts of this new world order than men in general and it is not good for our society as a whole. It was tough hearing about my recent college reunion with our sister school (I didn’t attend) where a large subset of Black women who never married and are childless were lamenting some of their own choices. The Black men from my school without families were a much much smaller group “living the life” and could still have families with biological children from younger women if they ever decide to settle down. We all lose if this dynamic continues long term (especially children).
I am also hopeful concerning compromise but am of the opinion it won’t be mostly from women. Of course it will vary by case, but in general I think the compromise will come from child rearing responsibilities. Traditionally women have done the lion’s share of the work.
“Traditional” gender roles: “A woman’s place is in the house.”
“Progressive” gender roles: “A woman’s place is in the House and the Senate” or “A woman’s place is in the White House.”
I think it depends on where you live. Both of my sons are very liberal as are the majority of their friends. But we live in MA where most people are liberal -not just women.
Same here in North Jersey. My extremely progressive son and son-in-law have no problem with strong, independent, progressive women ( like S’s partner and my D). And they have loads of partnered friends who are similar.
Here’s an extensive write-up on the topic, for anyone interested.
Political Party Identification and Romantic Relationship Quality - PMC.
Same her in the Twin Cities. Liberal D and SIL (they previously lived in NYC), all of their friends lean left, almost all are married or have partners. Most now starting families.
Even in the rural area H and I grew up in, his nieces had no trouble finding men who matched their liberal political views.
This is exactly what my SIL did almost 20 yrs ago. Once she reached a certain age with her biological clock ticking, she announced if she still hadn’t found a partner by X age, she would have a child on her own. Which is exactly what she ended up doing (ended up with twins!).
Personal anecdotes aside, this does not bode well for the future.
All kind of sad, if true.
Women want to control their own bodies and, I predict, men who don’t like that will find it harder in coming years to find partners. The genie is out of the bottle and it isn’t going back in.
This article from the Atlantic is interesting. Gift link. The Real Reason South Koreans Aren’t Having Babies - The Atlantic
I wonder if the political divide is as pronounced between men and women who have a similar level of education. The sad truth is that men are lagging women in terms of educational attainment - that makes suitable partners thinner on the ground before you even factor in political differences.