The biggest problem I see is when families are in denial about how much support and scaffolding they have been providing to the student. They spend tons of time researching campuses and programs; they spend zero time coming to terms with how much support they have been providing in order for their child to make it through HS and on to college.
Deans do NOT show up in your kids dorm room and shake him until he wakes up so he can get to class on time. That does not happen. So if YOU have been habitually waking your kid up because he sleeps through his alarm, it’s time to stop. The Dietician does NOT walk your D down the cafeteria line making sure that in addition to the carbs she loves and the caffeinated beverages she’d live on if she could, she takes a piece of salmon or grilled tofu because a college kid without protein is going to crash eventually. The Housing office won’ show up to do your kids laundry even if the towels smell of mildew, and the bursar doesn’t take your kid by the hand to the ATM to check the balance on the account because your kid forgot to deposit the paycheck last week.
The kids I know IRL who have crashed in college have NOT been unable to compete academically! They’ve struggled- and in many cases failed- at Life 101. And that- coupled with a demanding workload- has created a perfect storm. Going to bed at a reasonable hour. Waking up on time for an early lab. Eating regular meals. Buying an apple at the campus grocery store even when you want a Snickers bar. Changing the sheets on the bed and replacing them with clean sheets.
If your kid is a junior or senior and is not taking control of “Life 101”, get to it. I’'ve got friends with HS seniors who are STILL driving to school once or twice a week with the lunch that got left on the counter, the homework assignment sitting in the printer, or the athletic equipment that was sitting in the front hall. How is your kid going to manage all these things independently if you aren’t transitioning now?