I’m the one in this marriage who is ruining the spouse’s dreams of retirement travel. It has been a serious bone of contention between us since we retired. It was not an issue in our earlier years because our jobs kept us as much in the air as on the ground, so neither of us wanted to get on another plane or spend another night in a hotel. “Vacation” to both of us meant relaxing at home. I never knew that DH dreamt of leisure travel in retirement, and I was certain he knew what a stubborn recluse I am.
I’m reading all the suggestions posed to @deb922 and responding in my head even before she replies with, “Nope, nope, nope. You’re kidding, right? And, a cruise? Never! BTDT. I’d rather have a weekly colonoscopy.” I finally did come up with a solution/compromise that I posted on another thread that has lowered the temperature a bit on these conversations with DH. He appreciates that I have teased out what I really object to about travel, and that I’m willing to try to find some happy medium. In the meantime, he IS willing to take a few trips with some family members or his friends but without me.
It always baffles me that so many people can’t fathom that others really have zero interest in travel. My experience has been that those who love it can’t wait to bore you with photos or brag about where they’ve been or where they’re going, like it’s some kind of competition or accomplishment or wealth signal. My eyes just glaze over. There is no moral imperative to travel, and those who don’t aren’t missing anything of value – to them. It shouldn’t be so hard to understand. There is no way to make travel more attractive to someone who doesn’t value it. You’ll never change that about them. You might as well try to change their eye color. And it’s OK to be disappointed, but the solution ultimately requires that you learn to enjoy your travels without them.