General retirement travel plans

Parent Cafe Travel
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You have to figure this out. That is such a difficult way to live, it has got to be affecting how you feel during the day, and now it is a set habit. It might be worth talking to your doctor.

There’s very few things I know about, but after 26 years of flying night freight, I do know about sleep. Taken instruction every year in sleep. I’ve had to sleep during the day in hotels, where everyone else is awake, talking, watching the tv, hotel maids banging on your door. I have a few things that I recommend you consider, if you haven’t tried these.

Comfortable earplugs. Always. Absolutely no light, including from a clock, little red light from a tv, cover it up. No caffeine later in the day, not too much alcohol or sugar. Try sleeping for a few days in a separate bedroom then your husband (just for awhile, I know you may not want to do that, but experiment). Don’t look on your phone or do anything electronic in bed. When you wake up and you feel that urge to get up and walk around, don’t. Lie there instead and try to clear your mind and wait to go back to sleep.

Melatonin is mostly helpful as far as the waking up. The right amount should allow you to wake up, but then go right back to sleep, and you should wake up rested. The problem is, everyone needs a different amount, and you don’t know how much you need unless you titrate yourself. Most people that take 1 mg will feel like it does nothing for them, but some people have crazy, wild dreams, so they shouldn’t take melatonin. You shouldn’t take melatonin mixed with anything else, just pure melatonin.

To titrate yourself, take just 1 mg for three days. Make sure you have at least eight hours to sleep. And then every three days, increase the amount. The goal is, if you wake up, you go right back to sleep, and you wake up rested. That’s the right amount for you. If the dreams get too intense, that’s too much.

But, I know people don’t always want to try melatonin, they’ve given up because they think it doesn’t work for them. Maybe it doesn’t, for some. My husband occasionally takes Ambien when recovering from a tough trip, and he sleeps like a rock.

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Vent away. We never know the hand we are dealt. I hope you can find a way to do some local “staycation” or “day-cation” - just one night away or spoil yourself in your own area of living.

I’m sure you are not alone on CC in this situation. Sometimes it’s hard for others to put their vent out there. I’m glad you did.

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I think I could do it if we had a pretty strict itinerary and knew where we were going to be each day and what times. Unfortunately, my family balks at what they call “overplanning” and I call “making sure I get a meal and don’t starve”. That’s why I thinking cruise. Totally not interested in an ocean voyage but we are thinking a European river cruise in the next few years.

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raises hand me/us too. DH has offered for me to just take a trip by myself, but what fun is that? I’d spend the whole time texting him photos. We are staying positive most of the time, but I think it is always okay to have moments of “man, this is NOT what I hoped for”.

When the thread first opened I was gonna say we hope to someday go to the beach for a whole week. So I am also amazed at the varied scale of travel plans!!

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That is about what we do. And a week at the beach IS a wonderful week at the beach!

There are probably some other things we splurge on that others don’t or don’t value - do what suits or works for you!

I will say though that I would never want to force or take a reluctant H on a big trip….I would spend all my time worrying about if he was being catered to, liked what we were doing, etc.

It’s ok to decide jointly that one can go without the other!

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I’d appreciate more guidance in finding private guides to help at different locations. My friend found our Japan one from reading reviews on TripAdvisor.

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There are times we’d like the idea of personal guide (especially when traveling with 2 couples to split the cost).

In 2012 we found a wonderful Tapa Tour guide in Madrid online, I think via Trip Advisor (excellent reviews). But gotta admit we questioned our decision at the meeting point thinking, “hmm…. prepaid, nobody else is here… and no guide”. Turns out the guide was a just few minutes late, and we were the only people on the tour. He liked doing the gig to meet travelers, improve his english skills.

In recent years we’ve had great luck with Viator (which includes private tours, pricier) in Europe and Mexico. Most tours allow cancellation up to 24 hour prior. Sadly our travel agent has heard some recent stories about Viator no-show guides (she thinks mostly in South America and I think Mexico). Money returned, but a disruption to the plans for that day.

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Actually staying in bed and trying to fall back asleep was what I used to do. I was awake for hours. I was always exhausted. And yep I used melatonin. My doctor sent me to a sleep specialist who suggested getting up. I started doing that about ten years ago. Despite the 1-1.5 hour break in my sleep I get way more than before and I feel great. It’s just almost impossible to do on most vacations.

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We haven’t stayed in a hotel in a while although will be doing so for a few weddings this year. When we vacation, we have found some great Airbnb that are comfy and have more than one room…and are usually less costly than a hotel.

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While I don’t have this specific issue, I do keep different sleep hours than H. I am up early and ready to move around and get my coffee while he still needs another hour or so of sleep to feel rested. So I don’t love staying in a single hotel room for more than a night or two. When we travel/vacation we often a) get a rental unit, b) find an Airbnb or VRBO, OR c) get a hotel suite instead of a single room. Seems to me that exploring these type of options would make travel more comfortable, and possible, for you and your H.

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Seems that after ten years, might be worth going back to see the specialist. And as @Embracethemess suggests, an Air Bnb or hotel suite seems like a good solution for your issue. We get suites that have bedrooms separate from the living space all the time.

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Have you tried night mode with a kindle paperwhite? It reverses the light scheme so the screen is dark and the text is white. I use that mode at night when reading before turning out the lights.

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I’m the one who is super light and noise sensitive, and I tend to go to bed hours earlier than my h. I travel with a sound machine app and a good eye mask and we both make some compromises on bedtime. It typically takes me 1-2 days to adjust to jet lag anyway so this is just part of that adjustment.

I also did a six week, on line, sleep program through the Cleveland Clinic that gave me tools of meditation if I wake up in the middle of the night.

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We did three tours all from a combination of Trip Advisor and Viator (all in Barcelona). One for Tapas, one for a cooking Paella class and one a small group to visit Girona and the Dali Museum as a day trip. They were all great. They all had excellent reviews and no comments like the guide never showed up (which I saw on a few others).

I am unlikely to ever go on a Rick Steves tour, but we did enjoy his guide book for Spain. It’s much more fun to read than the other ones. The walking isn’t an issue for us. We averaged close to 10 miles a day. Two of the three hiking days were about 13 miles of hills plus additional milage from the official hike to wherever the hotels were.

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Sounds like you’ve taken some fantastic trips! I sure would like to be able to make paella correctly, love that stuff.

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We’ve used Rick Steves guides to help plan, but as of yet, no tours. We are VERY frugal travelers. Our last 2 trips to the EU (pre-Covid) cost less than half a guided tour. ($1800 - $1900 pp in 2017 & 2019). That included everything: Airfare, Food, Lodging, Museums, Transport (car,bus,train), small group tours, any insurance, etc. Both trips were approximately 7-8 days long plus 2 travel days.

Most of the R.Steves tours I’ve seen include ‘down’ time to relax, or do your own thing, but that also adds to the cost.

I know it would cost more now, and realize we are trading our time (planning) for dollar savings. So we’re trying to decide how much our planning time is worth (Neither of us enjoys the planning phase, but rarely find tours that include our personal preferences). All trade-offs.

I’d love to find travel partners that enjoy frugal planning. We could probably pay for their airfare, and still come out ahead.

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That is an amazing deal to pay $1800-$1900 for a trip including the airfare. We are doing a nine day Heart of Italy Rick Steves trip this summer, and while the cost of the tour was very reasonable, we paid more than 2K/person just for the airfare. Really expensive flying to Europe right now, if you’re going during peak times and need specific dates.

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Not retired yet, but we love to travel. Luckily, we can usually make it work, with fairly flexible schedules. Sometimes, combine a work trip with a few vacation days at the beginning or end.

We just did one in March - H had to be in Paris for work and we spent a long weekend in Istanbul before the work week and a long weekend in Normandy after the work week. Absolutely fabulous.

I mentioned elsewhere that I do most of the planning - I do use Rick Steves books but do a ton of research in figuring out what we want to see. We are into the very active vacations - usually on the go for several miles of walking every day. But of late, vacationing with the kids, we’ve learnt to ease up every now and then - sit at a cafe for lunch or dinner with a glass of wine, preferably watching the sunset!

This year’s plans:

  • North/South Carolina (Feb)
  • Istanbul/Paris/Normany (March)
  • Ohio (Eclipse in April)
  • Bay area (work/reunion with friends in June)
  • Ohio again (visiting D in August)
  • Italy and Croatio (cruise in Sept with friends)
  • Santa Fe (high school friends reunion in Oct)
  • XXX (somewhere in Dec)
    Dec trip is still TBD - but we usually take a few days somewhere assuming the kids can make it too.

@kjofkw - I hear you on the frugal trips! That’s us as well.

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Anyone else limit their travel due to the furry family members? We keep saying this dog will be our last for awhile so we can travel more, but then we also keep talking about a new “retirement” puppy.

(We have a great dog sitter, but we still wouldn’t leave our dog for more than 10 days. Our daughter is currently living at home and commuting to school, but her schedule is “iffy” and she can not handle our dog that outweighs her by 50lbs)

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:raising_hand_woman:t2:

H would never leave our dog for more than a couple days and that’s with the dog staying with our son! To be honest, the dog is definitely an “out “ for Hyo not travel!

Our summer family vacation is dog friendly so H is willing to go. :roll_eyes:

It can be really limiting

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