<p>My DH, who is disabled with Parkinson’s at a young age, spends vast amounts of time online in virtual worlds.
I guess this way he can do all of the things that are becoming difficult to do IRL.
It helps him cope, but I can’t say I like it :-(</p>
<p>It is not just kids: [FRONTLINE:</a> digital nation - life on the virtual frontier | PBS](<a href=“http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/digitalnation/?utm_campaign=homepage&utm_medium=bigimage&utm_source=bigimage]FRONTLINE:”>http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/digitalnation/?utm_campaign=homepage&utm_medium=bigimage&utm_source=bigimage)</p>
<p>I reject the dichotomy of “real world” and “virtual world;” it is one world. I would hazard a guess that the vast majority of facebook users speak primarily to people whom they originally met without a computer intermediary. It is simply easier to communicate with these “real” people online because of busy schedules, distance, etc.</p>
<p>So the main issue is people who not only meet a sizable majority of their friends exclusively online but also spend a majority of their time talking to these “online” friends rather than friends in their community. I don’t see why this is necessarily a bad thing. Let’s say I’m a socially awkward fourteen-year-old who has been going to school with the same group of peers for ten years but I still have no shared interests with any of them and I have few close friends. Let’s say I encounter some online community that shares my interests and I acquire close friends within it. Is someone going to tell me that this is inferior to spending my time talking to no one…socializing with no one? Better to have friends with no faces than no friends at all.</p>
<p>I’ll concede that two things are important, that A. children and teenagers do not give out information that can identify them to predators and B. people are aware that online interaction is in many ways inferior to face-to-face interaction in terms of social skills that are necessary for life. But for many kids this isn’t an issue of real friends vs. virtual friends; it’s an issue of virtual friends vs. nothing at all. </p>
<p>I didn’t have many friends in middle school. I made a few online friends, some of whom I still speak to from time to time, without ever compromising my safety. Now I am a student at top university, with plenty of “real friends” and social skills. Having online friends didn’t socially impair me; it provided me with the human interaction that we all crave at a time that I had little of it in my proximal community.</p>
<p>^You posted basically what I was about to say. I was basically a kid in that situation. As a college student I have a group of in-person friends (not “real world” friends, that is a stupid way to put it), but I also have a group of extremely tight knit online friends that I have been talking to for over a decade. Truthfully? The online friends are my better friends, we have a lot more in common than anyone I have been able to meet in person. Some of them have become in-person friends, too. I just don’t see the big deal as long as I am happy with my life-- and I am. I have beautiful, enriching friendships that I would never have had had I only had the opportunity to meet the people in my neighborhood growing up. And when I was a teenager, they were the only friends I had-- back then I didn’t know I had autism to know that I needed to work on my social skills, and NOBODY would talk to me-- but online my autism symptoms didn’t show and people were actually willing to get to know me and be my friend. Now that I am older and have had the opportunity to work on those social skills (and though this may shock you, a lot of my improvement has been because of those online friendships-- it’s hard to practice and improve when no one you know in person is willing to associate with you), I think I have the best of both worlds. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, even if the online friends and I have a better connection. I have a solid group of in person, long term friends, I am in a very successful romantic relationship, and my “best” friends live thousands of miles away. I don’t think it’s a big deal.</p>
<p>Rodney, I happened to see your post and in response to what your daughter said:
D: “I thought senior year was supposed to be fun?”…“especially after I know where I’m going?”</p>
<p>I just have to say that, as a senior who also knows where he is going, this is possibly the most stressful time of my life. I made the mistake of putting way too much on myself, and it’s definitely depressed me a lot. Sure, my schoolwork is probably easier than normal, but I’ve taken on a new diet and upped my workouts, musical rehearsal is getting super crazy, and I have to go to school early for jazz band. I’m worried about juggling all of this stuff because I’d never want to get my acceptance to Penn rescinded via any avenue. Being a senior tends to have some strange effects on people. She could be taking on too much like myself, or maybe she is prematurely separating herself from those relationships that make school fun because she knows she will soon be leaving those people. From what I’ve been seeing, lots of seniors tend to have at least a grain of depression – even with the excitement that lies ahead. I wouldn’t be too worried if I were you.</p>
<p>Senior year is supposed to be the best year of high school, but realistically by second semester it seems that most people just want to get out. I was pretty sick of high school by then, I had a little calendar in my assignment notebook that I checked like twice a day that counted down the days before graduation. It was disappointing because by second semester a lot of the things that I was so excited to do that year started to seem trivial and pointless. On the bright side, I spent a lot of time researching programs for college (since I got in ED) which really helped me figure out my schedule and activities for this year. I talked to a lot of people through the facebook group, many who later met in person. Now that I’m in college, I don’t really go online for long periods of time unless I’m researching something (academic stuff and sometimes things mentioned in class or other random things that I’m interested in) and checking facebook and email. But then again, I usually just go on facebook to check it, I don’t really have conversations on there anymore. College is way more fun.</p>
<p>I kill a lot of time online, including on CC. I’ve spent enough time here that there are other regular members whom I have come to respect. But I can’t say that I would consider any of you friends in the same sense as people I know in reality. </p>
<p>I think body language and spacial interactions do play a role in how we communicate with and understand others. This kind of contact is very limited online. Also, many of the things I enjoy doing with other people can’t be done over a cable modem.</p>
<p>I’d find life very depressing if I only had online identities. But, really, how many people are in that situation? How many people really don’t interact with others regularly in real life? And how many of those people would end up completely alone if cut off from the online world?</p>
<p>EDIT - Re the tangential discussion of senior year: I have found it far more stressful than any other year of school.</p>
<p>A preference for some virtual, cyber world is just not reasonable. How could any kid give up hours and hours of watching TV just to sit at a computer and play games, explore the world and converse with others?</p>
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<p>My 19 year old son (college freshman) approaches it this way also. He uses the internet (and texting, FB,etc) to stay in touch with his friends when he is at home and to kill time but he would never turn down the opportunity to spend time with his friends in favor of a ‘virtual world’. Now, having said that, he did go through a period in middle school where he was spending far too much time on on-line gaming (specifically World of Warcraft) and we were quite concerned and had to place limits, there were constant battles, etc. Fortunately, he eventually saw that it was a major time-waster and somewhat of an addiction and took himself off of it. He still like to play video games with his friends but he also has a very active social life.</p>
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<p>LOL…the thing I like about CC is the conversations on the Parents Forum have great information about applying to college and helped me make sense of a somewhat overwhelming process last year. I hardly ever visit that forum anymore. I ‘graduated’ to the Parents Cafe when son went off to college. I was surprised by how much I enjoy the Parents Cafe. I love the fact that the topics are all over the board here. I learn so much here every day, it’s fun but it * can* be a giant time sucker. 
OTOH, I don’t watch much TV, so I figure this is my one media vice.</p>
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<p>Actually, she should be having this problem EXACTLY at 18. Teenagers’ circadian rhythms and sleep-cycles are different from those of adults because of when they release melatonin. Most teens get tired about midnight; adults around 10pm. Naturally, teenagers SHOULD sleep later. It’s not that we’re lazy; it’s just that we don’t get tired as early as adults, need more work, and accordingly sleep later.</p>
<p>Anyway, I definitely think there’s a false dichotomy between “real world” and “virtual world.” I communicate with a lot of my “real world” friends on fb, email, and other “virtual world” sites.</p>
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<p>In her case, it’s so bad that she had to withdraw from school first semester and come back home to live for second semester at our local college. I wanted to see what the problem was and now I think I know. She can’t get up in the morning, even for a 10am class.</p>
<p>Our son had trouble getting up when his bedroom was in the basement. Not much sun coming through the one window. But at college, when his room faced the east, he reported it was much easier to wake up.</p>
<p>And now he has a light box because he is evidently sensitive to a lack of sunlight in his wintery world.</p>
<p>My son has always been a night-owl. It has gotten worse throughout adolescent. He will routinely stay up until 3am. BUT he’s always managed to get himself up for class. He even managed to get an A in his 8am class last semester. I know he compensates for it by going back to the dorm for naps in between classes and sleeping very late (noon or much later) on days when he doesn’t have early classes. He routinely sleeps until noon on the weekends. In fact, many students do this. A few times during football season, we happened to be in the Starbucks in the lobby of son’s dorm waiting for him around noon, and suddenly, students (many still in pajama like clothes or sporting wet hair) would start pouring into Starbucks. It will obvious most of them had just woken up.</p>
<p>The interesting thing is when he is on vacation with us, he will fall asleep relatively early (10pm-midnight at the latest). I do think the stimulation of the internet, friends and video games is part of what keeps him up even when he’s not out socializing.</p>
<p>Most college students stay up very late but they are still able to get themselves to class. There are lots of techniques they use…like two alarms, leaving the blinds open so light will come in, having a friend call them (but NOT Mom), taking naps, etc. A student who is routinely missing classes has other issues going on besides staying up too late. In many cases, they are simply not yet mature enough to go away to college.</p>
<p>Hi, I’d like to say that I’m not sure where I fit…I don’t have any friends in the “real world,” nor do I have any “friends” in the “virtual world.” I do have a FB account but it’s mainly to access the pages of external sites/services/“Fan Pages” that I “Like” (Huffington Post, the New Yorker, even WikiLeaks, etc.), and get news updates. Kind of like a massive town hall conference or meeting of the minds where anyone, anywhere, at anytime, can voice their opinion and comment on the events of the day.</p>
<p>At the same time, it’s a fair bet to say I’ve avoided joining “Second Life” because I never had a first life to begin with 
The Beatles’ song “When I’m 64” actually applies to me…at 24. I’m more interested in what’s going on in the world far removed from my living room, than about whether any of my first-grade bullies are having sex or going to the toilet at any particular moment. (BTW, I was in Catholic school in first grade…so it’s pretty much guaranteed at least one of those bullies has a name like Sister Mary Chuck Norris.)</p>
<p>AFAIK, the Internet was supposed to be a streamlined expansion of pertinent information, that is, until Paris Hilton and Ashton Kutcher jumped aboard, and Justin Bieber became the Next Big Thing/sign of the apocalypse thanks to YouTube. Oh, and lest we forget the real reason Al Gore claims to have “invented the Internet,” because “the Internet is for porn”?</p>
<p>(Something tells me Bill Clinton had a hand in – I mean, contributed his objective, constructive opinions to – the project if that’s the case.)</p>
<p>When I was younger I preferred the book world to the “real world,” and in fact, I still do. In fact, I prefer the book world to the Internet world too, but I’ve found more and more that I’ve had to be online even if I don’t want to. 1) My mother has no idea of how to use a computer, and is out of work and having to apply for jobs online, as well as type letters in Microsoft Word; 2) my father, although he’s working, is the same way, and even today had to fill out some HR/ethics review online; 3) the stupid NCLB rules (Frameworks as they’re known in Mass.) have required that even college students take e-courses to “prepare them for the global marketplace,” so if you’re not a big fan of Google or don’t have a computer or don’t want to use one, you’re basically SOL and might as well move to Siberia or Pennsylvania Dutch Country (not to mention isolated further from peers your age who think you’re stuck in the '80s or something – the 1880s, that is).</p>
<p>As a matter of fact, I plan on becoming a published author someday, and I know I’m going to have to market my work on Amazon, not only sold online but “converted” to some eBook format (which I really can’t stand). Then I, the author, will have to get a site of my own, and blog about my characters, and give them individual Facebook accounts (God help me if I write a story like ‘Sibyl.’). I’ve had to buy textbooks online, because the professor didn’t order them him/herself for the campus bookstore, and REQUIRED that everyone go to Amazon and get it themselves (sounds lazy to me). Now I’m having to apply to college online, am required to have a computer of my own on campus, am required to have an e-mail address and a Facebook and someday, a Tumbler, a Digger, a Tweeter and a Wiki-Tiki-Tavi. Sounds like the old nursery rhyme about the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker. BTW, since when is a Tweeter anything but a parakeet or an add-on for your stereo?</p>
<p>I’ve been humiliated in class because out of 25 students and the 45-year-old professor, 24 had a Facebook except me – even she had one, and called me out for the fact that my “spare time” on the computer is spent with Solitaire and/or Minesweeper, and I’d rather read quietly at the library than bother with any Rick Astley tunes. </p>
<p>The Internet is as addictive as any other profitable entity, including sex, cocaine, and high fructose corn syrup. Prostitution is illegal; coke is illegal (and so should Pepsi be), why can’t Google be outlawed as a detriment to society? Well, for one reason, like anything else that mucks up the natural order of things, the government had and still has its dirty fingers in the process. Anyone born after 1984 and who’s read “1984” (and didn’t SparkNote the whole thing) isn’t going to get it. Call me paranoid, but maybe I’m the only one of “my generation” who’s able to appreciate the comparison between DARPANET (the DoD’s precursor to the information super sewer system we know today), and an old song from the “greatest generation”: </p>
<p>Big Brother Google / with the goo-goo, Google-y eyes!</p>
<p>Apologies for the rant…I saw the Frontline report too, and believe me, Orwell has been vindicated, and Thoreau has done a full 960 by now, in his natural realm of decay…six feet under Dunkin’ Donuts.</p>
<p>While we’re at it, have a look at the disturbing, pathetic [Beloit</a> College Mindset List](<a href=“http://www.beloit.edu/mindset/2014.php]Beloit”>http://www.beloit.edu/mindset/2014.php) about the worldview held by the future college freshmen of 2014. </p>
<p>And take special note of #57!</p>
<p>I’m one of the very few college students’ who doesn’t have a Facebook. To be honest, I think it’s poisoning our minds and wasting time that could be spent on something more constructive.</p>
<p>In my young day we were grounded in the real world of TV, movies and novels.</p>
<p>I am not a parent, but this topic caught my eye. I am a college senior and enrolled in the majority of online courses. One of my courses this semester is “Computer Mediated Communication”. It examines the virtual world and the communication that takes place in it.</p>
<p>I think that this generation is becoming more absorbed in the online world. It is so easy and accessible to everyone. I had to do a project and found that I spent about 2 hours a day online. While, I was surprised about that number, I found that this almost 50% less than some of my friends, who could spend upwards of 4-6 hours online a day (the majority of their free time). </p>
<p>Not only do I think this generation prefers the virtual world, it has become a staple in our culture, and there are even classes (like the one I am taking) to understand its role in our society.</p>
<p>Essaycoach, I would have to disagree with you. The computer nurtured my writing skills from a very early age. Sure, the internet and texting provide avenues for stupidity to get by, but I think they do just the opposite for intelligent, motivated young’ns.</p>
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I’m 23 and I have this problem. I suck.</p>
<p>This article reminds me of the Hikikomori in Japan, predominantly 18-25 year old male shut ins, who barely leave their rooms.
I wonder what role the internet /computer plays in this phenomenon which was recognized in 2000. </p>
<p>NY Times riveting article
[Shutting</a> Themselves In - New York Times](<a href=“Shutting Themselves In - The New York Times”>Shutting Themselves In - The New York Times)</p>
<p>WIKI- overview
[Hikikomori</a> - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori]Hikikomori”>Hikikomori - Wikipedia)</p>