OP, I love the idea about fostering. Reading this thread makes me wonder if it’s the first cat’s personality that makes the difference between love and hate for a new kitty. You said your cat is very social and loving, maybe that’s the key. (I have two sister cats, with distinct personalities and I bet I can guess how they would react to a new kitty). Also, my neighbor is a huge cat fan and she has a staged system for integrating a new kitty into the household…it starts with the new kitty in a bathroom for a few days so the cats and sniff and stick paws through the door. Then she replaces the closed door with a gate (that no one can jump over). Etc etc…so the older cats’ territory isn’t threatened.
@Consolation , it also depends on how the dog gets along with cats. My sister just integrated her dog with her partner’s cats into one household, and it worked because the dog is super laid back and ignores them. FWIW, we got a dog when our cats were 3, and one adapted, and one just now is OK being in the same room with the dog…5 years later (again, personality differences as I mentioned above). I would say first choice, find a cat at a shelter that is noted for getting along with dogs. PS My dog LOVES the cats and tries super hard to be their friend and protector.
There is an excellent cat rescue near us where I would get a cat, if I get one. They indicate if a cat is good with kids, other cats, and dogs (if known). Unfortunately, the dog factor is the least likely to be known. That’s one reason I was thinking of a kitten, although to be honest I would rather have a cat that was maybe 1-5 yrs old than a kitten.
My last chemo treatment is scheduled for Nov 7th, and I am thinking about getting myself a kitty as a present.
Our first pet was a shy white kitty who apparently got so terrified of the new dog that the family had to make a choice. Because there were several other cats in the house, the family decided to take the kitty to a local no-kill shelter where we found her. She was 2 (had her “birth certificate” etc. so we knew she came from a loving family). Fast forward a couple of months, Mr. B found a calico kitten! It was the runt of the litter, waiting for someone to adopt her. The kitten just had to come with us. We were afraid that the big kitty would not like having a smaller buddy… I planned on doing a gradual intro, but Mr. just got the kitten out of the box and shoved her into the big kitty’s face. The big kitty growled and pressed the terrified kitten into the carpet with her front paw. I have never seen such a flat, terrified kitten! I was ready to spring into action and rescue the poor thing, but the big kitty stopped growling, sniffed the kitten, and began licking and grooming her. That was it. No wars, no problems. Probably helped that the kitten was a leftover runt and did have not yet developed a dominant bone in her.
Then the kids decided that they wanted a dog… we decided to get a small puppy so the white cat would not be so terrified. Surprisingly, the big white cat took the new addition to the family menagerie quite well. She whacked the puppy on the nose and said something to him in her cat language about not touching her food dish. OMG. The dog instantly got it. The kitten… no issues. I guess we lucked out with our super social pets.
I like the fostering suggestion - I’m not aware of a place near me, but I’ll look into it. We have plenty of room to keep them separated, so that’s not an issue.
You should get two more cats. Three is a magic number. Yes it is. I would suggest four, but some might consider that excessive.
Kidding aside, I disagree it must be a kitten. We successfully brought a six year old cat into our house. Our then 2-year old cat quickly learned who was boss. They lived together happily for about 7 years. I am a big fan of adult cats, who already are litter-box trained and have their own charms. So many adult cats need homes:-)
We tried to introduce an adult cat to our two then-12 year old brothers cats, and it didn’t go well. A divorcing family decided they couldn’t take care of their cat, so we took him in. All cats were neutered males, but the new cat was a serious alpha kitty. He had herpes, scars from his previous life, and looked like an escaped prisoner. The cats did manage to achieve a detente of sorts, but we were really grateful when the previous family decided they wanted their 19 pound ex-convict back!
Now our cats are 15 and one is dying of cancer, so we’re considering getting a kitten to keep the surviving brother company after the sick one is gone. Cats really do need companionship.
I have had many cats over the years in many configurations. I’ve had 1 up to 4. Males and females. My cats have always adjusted over time to new cats. Sometimes it takes 2-3 months to reach calm. I introduced 2 kittens to 2 14 year old cats most recently (2 males/2 females). Both the older cats adjusted and would even tolerate cuddling at times from the kittens. We’ve since lost our 2 older cats but one lived with kittens for a year and one for 2 1/2 years. One of the older cats adjusted immediately, the other was grouchy for a stretch.
I have found my male cats a little more easy going, but if a female cat shows good potential at a shelter, I don’t think that should rule it out.
I might consider a pair of kittens honestly. Or if you didn’t want to do that maybe an older cat that is known as mellow and other cat friendly from a shelter. I do not find it harder to have more than one cat. It’s the same work almost adding another kitty or 2 to feed and a litter box or 2.
I am not sure if this has been suggested or not as I work in Cat rescue, but if you can keep them seperate, ask to be a foster for some kittens. It will save lives, and after they get their shots, you could try to introduce and see how he reacts. Worse case, you will be helping this kittens for adoption, and best case you will end up with one (or two).
I was ready to spring into action and rescue the poor thing, but the big kitty stopped growling, sniffed the kitten, and began licking and grooming her. That was it. No wars, no problems. Probably helped that the kitten was a leftover runt and did have not yet developed a dominant bone in her.