<p>We had concerns about my MIL for a while, she has alzheimers but wont acknowledge it. My Sil thought they wouldn’t renew her licence either but they did. We had the doctor say she shouldn’t drive, then we had her tested, she flunked without question. She is mad, but we are relieved. This is so difficult.</p>
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I’m sure the AARP lobby is quite strong in FL!</p>
<p>The presence of dementia means you have entered a different world; logic, rationalization and planning are no longer in play- welcome to the twilight zone. White lies and other subterfuge are your tools in the twilight zone, you will need to use such tactics to keep your parent safe while preserving a semblance of autonomy for them. Fixing the “strange noise”, disabling the battery, these are excellent suggestions. The parent with dementia adjusts to the idea that they can’t drive, but forgets exactly why and doesn’t have the intellectual resources to remedy the problem.</p>
<p>Hope this is not too much thread-jacking, but thinking about elderly people who need to give up driving makes me consider how people in our generation should think about retirement areas. I’m a big fan of people retiring to a walkable area, so that when the time comes to give up a car, they can walk to the cafe and the grocery store. And I wish more continuing care facilities were located right in town, rather than somewhere else. </p>
<p>My mother lives in a lovely continuing care facility. But unfortunately, instead of being conveniently right in town, it’s a mile away from town. How much more convenient it would be if Mom could just walk to a store to shop, instead of having to get the facility’s shuttle, or have my sister drive her.</p>
<p>Brought my 96 yr old aunt in to renew her license, (found we needed a government issued photo ID card for banks, MD offices to verify insurance, etc). Aunt cannot hear, cannot see well due to macular degeneration and walks with a walker. When told to stand in front of the camera for the photo, she turned and faced the wall! DMV agent said that he would have to renew license even if she came in by herself when it was clearly obvious that she was in no condition to drive unless there was a complaint filed against her. The license was renewed for 6yrs!</p>
<p>^Goodness couldn’t you get a non-driver’s ID? My son who lost his learner’s permit and can’t be bothered to actually redo everything it would take to get a real license, got an ID. But I guess if you know she would never be tempted to drive it doesn’t matter.</p>
<p>When my mother turned 75 or so she took a course in driving for old folks. They recommended things like planning your routes without left turns, not driving at night or rush hour etc. Dementia can be a real problem, we ended up stealing my in-laws car because nothing we said would convince them that they could not be driving.</p>
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Ugh! When I renewed my license I was in line behind an elderly driver; the official gave the driver 4 tries to pass one of the vision tests (the depth perception test). Ugh!</p>
<p>Dealing with older parent issues is tough … however, to me this one is truly unique … this is the one where bowing to the parent’s wishes too long might be a thread to other innocent people’s lives. My biggest regret so far, BY FAR, dealing with my Mom is not have the guts to fight my Dad and sister to force my Mom to stop driving … if she has killed someone during that time I never could have lived with the guilt.</p>
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<p>Doesn’t your state issue non-driver IDs that function the same as driver’s licenses for all ID purposes? Of course, there are other photo IDs available like passports and passport cards.</p>