We don’t have many guests other than very good friends. We don’t do “hostess gifts” now that I think about it but it’s true wine or beer or something to add to a dinner (or picking up the restaurant tab) is what we end up doing.
“Things” are the last thing we need. No candles (can’t stand anything scented).
I’d agree that jams and consumables can be fun–but flying on a plane limits a lot.
Providing breakfast the next morning–bagels, cream cheese whatever is really nice…Tell them you are bringing it beforehand.
New different spices/rubs or hot sauces are always welcome. My friends like cooking so new dips, sauces, spices are always fun.
Flowers are nice but to waltz in and say “YOU need to find a vase and put these in water…” ugh. But they brighten up any room.
A bit tacky in some eyes–but our group (usually 6 to 10) brings their own bath towels most times so the host isn’t left with more laundry than necessary–we try to launder and re-make our beds before leaving if feasible (at least offer).
We all participate in cooking and clean-up and bring food/appetizers/drinks for the weekend.
Being very low maintenance makes it easy to invite everyone back!
Interesting about the bedding. What I want is for the guest to make the bed when they leave so
that I do not need to deal with it until I want to take care of it. H’s friend tried to help by putting the
sheets in the washer before an early morning flight. Problem was that the machine woke me.
No, please just ask me what I want done with the dirty bedding.
Someone mentioned being self-sufficient. We had some people come stay with us, a really nice work friend who I had never met before, but worked with for 20+ years. She and her son visited and they really needed us to tell them what to do each day and kept popping up at home, even the night they were going to go a fair bit away, they ended up not spending the night.
I appreciate people who stay here for more than 2-3 days to go and do stuff and have some idea what they want to do, use my car, but just go/do/see & don’t ask me to entertain you in the middle of the work week That would be the best gift.
Definitely depends on the expectations and circumstances. We had guests once who were so independent, we felt like we were solely a free hotel. They seemed to have zero interest in spending any time with us at all, instead utilizing our place in a popular city at the time as solely a place to rest their head at night. A few dinners together at least would have been nice. There is a happy medium.
I typically buy a dinner while there, and then after I get home send a thank-you basket with goodies that are local - being in NC, it will often include things like different barbecue sauces and rubs, local wine or beer (if drinkers), jams/jellies and the like.
If I’m visiting people with kids, I always bring something small for the kids.
Reading this, I would definitely be mindful of whether you are visiting the host’s permanent residence, a summer home, or a vacation rental. I’d be far less enthusiastic about jams and fancy vinegar in the latter two, when food can’t stay indefinitely. You can order puzzles that are topo maps with your host’s home at the center. They take a while to get, but are another great gift for a vacation home.
We have lots of guests to our lake home. All are close friends and all only come when we invite them. Most bring wine and food that we use during their stay. Sometimes they bring flowers. One of my friends always brings sunflowers since she knows I love them. I never expect anyone to bring a hostess gift. Most of our guests strip the sheets and put them and used towels in the laundry room. When H has his golf buddies up for guy trips they all bring sleeping bags that they use on top of the beds and their own towels! They have been doing this for years at each others cabins and the host gift is the replenished liquer cabinet. No matter what I say they will not sleep in the sheets.They are getting to be funny old men!
But wait…did you invite the guests to your city…or did they contact you to see if they could stay with you?
We have had friends who stayed here…contacted us and we said “sure”. We did have breakefast with them…but really…they did their own thing for the most part. And it was fine!
We invited them. We had moved not too long prior and kept in touch and wanted to see each other, or so I thought. We also knew they’d enjoy where we were living. Yes, we knew they would use it for sightseeing (plus we were working some of that time, so that was good) but it was apparent that they wanted to spend all their time sightseeing and going out, just the two off them.
It was years ago now. We haven’t made an effort to keep in touch.
Either extreme can be bad - the guests who can’t entertain themselves at all l and those who treat your home as a hotel.
I like to do good spices or good olive oils as a gift. We entertain at our cabin and the most appreciated gifts are a fresh flowers when you arrive and maybe some beer or wine that you love and want to share. The most unusual gift we got was from a family that had a wooden depth chart of our lake made with our cabin location noted on it. It’s hard to explain but it was very thoughtful of them! We got it as a Christmas present well after their visit.
I think those olive oils, vinegars, and spices go right along with the candles. Either you like them…or you don’t.
I don’t take food…unless I know for sure…that it’s something a person would like and use.
The closest I get is taking a bottle of wine locally.
BUT this OP is FLYING. And it sounds like she is looking for some small hostess gift she can have when she arrives. Olive oil and vinegar wouldn’t exactly fit that either. Yes…they are nice for certain folks…but not everyone.
@threebeans …H had a work gathering at our lake home and they also gave us the wooden lake with depths. We love it and it is hanging in the family room!
As a frequent host, I appreciate being told in advance if the guest plans to take us to dinner or wants to cook a meal. I feel exasperated if I have planned meals and bought groceries that I am unable to use and the refrigerator is full. Also, I sometimes have guests who bring a LOT of food. Then we have way too much and no place to put it.
As a guest, I try to be very open to what my host prefers. I ask what should be done with the sheets, and I do that. Everyone has their own system. I try to be sensitive to how much “togetherness” is appropriate. I don’t want to suffocate or abandon my host. I would never arrive empty handed. I make sugared pecans and just a small container can be a nice addition to happy hour or dessert. I am surprised to know so many people don’t like candles, and I have made a mental note of that. Making sure we leave the liquor supplies at or above where they were before we arrived is important.
I have a waterside cottage and would definitely NOT want towels as a hostess gift. We have plenty, thank you! I would not expect anything from my guests but for them to clean up after themselves. I would never expect you to take me out and buy me dinner. If you are my guest, I am hosting you because I like you, not because I want payment of any kind. If you want to bring something, the only thing that sounds good is a consumable treat. Food is always welcome. If you are flying to see me I assume you are already spending money to spend time with me. If you are driving up to my cottage for a few days, though, feel free to BYOB and some snacks, that would help out. People flying in are off the hook for contributing to the meals, it’s just silly to expect that.
“I’d like to take you all to dinner while I’m visiting. What’s your favorite restaurant and which night would work, so I can make reservations?” I also try to bring something small and use-upable like nice soaps, chocolate bars, note cards (and FOREVER stamps to go with them). When my cousin invited the whole family to dinner with a recent trip, I did check a bag just so I could bring some special wine (but I checked with her in advance).
My son’s friend came to visit recently and brought a beer not available in our area. Not a six pack, but one bottle for each family member. A really great beer. His family doesn’t do much to support him in college. I think it was one of my top hostess gifts ever.
That would be the best gift.
