Going Gray?

<p>I've seen so many "bad" dye jobs that I'd be afraid to risk it plus the maintenance and expense factors are not for me either.
My MIL is over eighty with more wrinkles than a Chinese Sharpei and lives month to month on a very limited income but still pays to have her hair dyed a weird auburn shade that the rest of the family agrees looks pretty bad. Isn't there some point where it does look more natural to be gray?</p>

<p>I'm Nrsb4's twin. Really resistant grays, right up front. Takes 3x the "regular" time for color to take, but also gives the highlighting effect.</p>

<p>I tried going au natural. Unfortunately, until all of the non-gray hairs are gone, it is as if I have two completely different hair behaviors: the dark brown ones that are wavy/curly, and the gray ones that spike out in weird ways. Coloring the gray ones seems to beat them into some kind of submission. It really does seem to change their texture and behavior. </p>

<p>My guess is that in 5-10 years it won't be an issue. But for now, Miss Clairol and I have regular dates.</p>

<p>I've gone gray and I get tons of compliments on my hair. I did it semi-gradually (kept highlighting but less and less for maybe 6-8 months) then said the heck with it and just stopped altoghether. Frequent trims and a modern cut are the key. A flat iron is also your friend!! I takes out that coarse wavy gray and makes it a nice smooth sparkle. I did not get "the chop" I have a long bob.</p>

<p>As to looking old, sorry: nothing looks older than a 50+ year old woman with dark hair.</p>

<p>My eyebrows are what is driving me crazy! I actually have white ones growing in! I dye those too.</p>

<p>I am still coloring and right now I need to color. Last year I tried to let t grow out and just could not do it. One side of my head is much whiter than the other. I am a bit curious as to how it would look, but I haven't been able to really let it go.....yet.</p>

<p>I do secretly wish there was a way to "try on" the totally white head of hair that I would have without dye. I think it would look awful, but who knows.</p>

<p>The problem I see is my eyebrows are still black while my head has only about 100 black hairs left. I dye the roots every month and "fluff" it up from weeks 2 to 4 since the darn stripe comes so quickly. </p>

<p>If I don't get a chance to meet any of you, in about 40 years I'll be the 90 year old with the brunette hair halfway down her back! :)</p>

<p>Snowdog, I did the same. I've gotten so many compliments since I let my hair go gray. Even my husband loves it. I'm trying to start a new trend. I want to show the local women that you can age naturally and still look good. One important thing with graying hair is to maintain a great haircut....and, strut proudly with a big smile on your face :)</p>

<p>PS--I'm not totally gray--more streaky, salt and pep perish (a little more salt than pepper). My older brother has awesome silver hair so I'm hoping mine will eventually be like his.</p>

<p>My dear aunt, who will be 93 next month, still colors her hair a light brown.</p>

<p>I've never colored my hair, which is very dark brown, wavy/curly, and cut fairly short. I'm 54, and have some gray threaded throughout, but it's the same texture as the rest of my hair and you can't see it unless you get close. I'd say I'm only about 10% gray, and at this point am happy to just let nature take its course.</p>

<p>I lucked out in the parental sweepstakes, since both my parents went gray very late. When my mother died at 82, she hadn't been able to color her hair for a long time, and yet she was only about half gray. Thanks, mom!</p>

<p>Count me in the salt-and-pepper category, and happy to be there. I expected to go silver even earlier, as that runs in my family, but I'm more silver streaked for now. I like how it looks, and love the total lack of maintenance.</p>

<p>One thing I've noticed is that natural brunettes tend to go lighter with their hair dyes as they age. I think people realize that having dark hair, especially unhighlighted dyed dark hair, can look harsh next to your face as you're starting to get wrinkles. My MIL has nearly become blonde over the last 20 years or so! It looks good on her, but nature's way of lightening your hair, by turning it gray or silver, will work fine for me.</p>

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My dear aunt, who will be 93 next month, still colors her hair a light brown.

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<p>I had one too, except she did it dark brown. She was the only dark head in her assisting living facility. I think sometime past her 100th birthday she stopped. She lived to be 109.</p>

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As to looking old, sorry: nothing looks older than a 50+ year old woman with dark hair.

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<p>I disagree. My best friend is in her 50's and has not yet begun to go gray. Her hair is still naturally brown and she is quite lovely. I don't pretend to be as lovely as she, but my hair looks very natural, due to the "highlights." If one has a quality color job and a good haircut, one can look just fine well into her 50's. It's the cheap hair dyes with every hair the exact same color (rather than the variety of shades which make up natural hair color) and too dark which age a person prematurely.</p>

<p>A beautiful silver look is stunning; unfortunately, many women do not go gray so well. My Mom's hair is a yellowish white. No thank you.</p>

<p>My mom never dyed her hair, and it was a very nice salt and pepper gray that eventually became a very pretty silvery gray. Unfortunately, my hair is not a pretty gray ... it's a dull gray. I admit to being vain and coloring my color-resistant hair. I did it myself for a long time, but awhile back I got skittish about putting chemicals on my head. My hair stylist works from her home so doesn't charge a ridiculous amount. She uses a wonderful natural color line called Pravana, and it is great. My hair isn't as dark as it once was, but it is a nice, natural brown with reddish highlights. I plan to keep it that way for a long time.</p>

<p>I do know some women my age who have beautiful gray hair. I envy them, but I wouldn't look like them ... so brown it is.</p>

<p>Gray hair is on my little list of "things that really annoy me". I'll never forget the day I found my first one, age 39, driving to a far away clients. I glanced in the rear view mirror, and...there it was. I pulled over to double-check, sure my contact was displaced.</p>

<p>I was so not ready for this. My mother didn't have any gray hair until chemo when she was 58. My grandma had hardly any until she had chemo at 78, Sigh. </p>

<p>Count me among the "color" group. I'm also in the "I can't stand any sign of skunk" group. It must not bother a lot of people. I see a lot of Hollywood celebs with it. Maybe it's cool and I just don't realize it.</p>

<p>I'm not a frilly, fluffy type. I figure this is my one indulgence. My mom is now 68 with very little gray. Arggg.</p>

<p>A co-worker of mine started going white fairly early (in her early 40s). She dyed her hair for a while, then decided she didn't want to do that forever. She initially dyed her hair platinum/almost white blonde. Before that she was a light brown color. At the time I didn't realize she dyed her hair, and couldn't figure out why she suddenly went platinum. Over time when she transitioned to completely white I understood her strategy.</p>

<p>I am a natural blonde but now color my hair as I have started getting white hairs. I have tried to match my natural color. My mother did not color her hair and always made disparaging remarks about those who did. </p>

<p>I haven't decided how long I will color it at this point. My S is very blond, and I wouldn't want him to feel all alone!</p>

<p>I color my hair, get that lovely skunk look and hate it. I'd go au natural except for several reasons: 1) I think my gray would not be an attractive color... not silvery... not white. I think it'd be dead and dreary. 2) everything about me is much younger. I've always been told I look so young. Even now, I look like a little kid, but with a few wrinkles :(. My mid-20 year old kid still gets carded, just like I did. 3) my skin tone needs more color, especially in the winter months. I am just too pale!</p>

<p>Up until this last summer I would color my hair. Since I had kids later in life, I got tired of sometimes being called their grandmother, so I started dying my hair about 10 years ago.</p>

<p>Once my DS went off to college, I figured I was now able to go gray, and haven't looked back. (I still have a DD in HS, but it's a lot easier to be a gray mom with a high schooler, than with a middle schooler.)</p>

<p>I admit I was a bit worried, especially since September I lost my job and wasn't sure whether I would be hired again with gray hair. Good news is I just found another job doing something I love, so it looks like my gray hair wasn't a detriment.</p>

<p>Once I quit dying it, I noticed that my hair wasn't really that gray all over. In fact the back is still quite brown, and all the gray is in the front. </p>

<p>I do get comments and compliments from other women that I am braving the gray. When I decided to grow it out, I got it cut shorter (ala Jamie Lee Curtis) and really love it. </p>

<p>I wish more women would be willing to go gray. I think it always looks strange to see a white haired man and a brown haired woman together, when you know they are the same age. Unfortunately, though, it is very true that a man with gray hair looks distinguished and a woman gets called dowdy. I think it's time to change that stereotype!</p>

<p>Apart from two henna attempts, I have never dyed my hair. I get a friend to trim it about twice a year, and wash it with cheap shampoo. At almost 52, I am definitely salt and pepper, but frankly, doing anything fancy with my hair is just not my style.... And think of all the money I've saved on hairdye, haircuts and cosmetic products over the years. ;-).</p>

<p>I tried dying my hair for about 18 months, but developed a severe allergy sending me to the emergency room. Needless to say, I stopped immediately. I had my hair cut in a short bob and used a touch up "crayon" on the skunk stripe until it grew out which took about 9 months (I had it cut about every 4 weeks). My hair is now about 70% gray, lighter in the front than the back. I'm very fortunate as my hair has natural chunky sections of white and is straight. I now have it cut in a longer bob and spend the extra money on high end hair products and pedicures!</p>

<p>@nrdsb4: clearly I wasn't talking about women whose hair has retained its own color. And yes there are some skilled colonists out there. Now that I don't work in the city, I choose not to spend $150 every 3-4 months on a head of foils. YMMV. </p>

<p>@nysmile: I did start a trend! Well at least one person that I know of. My hygienist told me for over a year how pretty my hair is (streaky gray) and would say she wished she had the nerve. Last time I went in she had finally done it!</p>