techmom99, exactly whose rights are you saying were violated here? The “user” submits their profile to a site that explicitly informs them that the data can be used to identify relatives that turn out to be criminals or victims. LE submits their DNA profile (that no longer belongs to the original owner, as he discarded it at the crime scene).
The “relative” has given implicit permission to use their profile, the John Doe DNA belongs to law enforcement, so no permission is needed from the suspect. This is not the same as what you are talking about. In your scenario, the kids haven’t put their DNA on the site, but somehow are being connected to your DH. Here, both parties have voluntarily submitted their profiles to a web site that is explicitly there to generate matches of only those who have submitted their profiles.