I am saying you cannot live in someone else’s shoes and assume that you know all the issues they face, financial or otherwise. Even with close friends or family. There is nothing sad about it. It is just reality.
From what I have seen in the computing industry, surprise layoffs at medium or large companies tend to result in 60 days severance (WARN act duration), plus more depending on seniority if you sign an “I will not sue” agreement.
Not knowing ALL their issues is not the same as “oblivious” which is how you described it.
5 Likes
Yes. People are oblivious of each others’ issues. It is presumptuous to think you do.
That is different than being oblivious to each other’s worlds or having no clue about their world. Or even suggesting that their worlds are that different. They may be but I’d say that divide is more likely tied to education, ethnicity, etc., not income.
1 Like
People are often very private. They don’t feel obligated to share their life with someone else. I’ve had friends ask me “why are you not doing this or that? Don’t tell me you can’t do this or that etc..”. They have no idea. Even with friends who often share the same ethnicity, income group etc. Let alone some random person who has a far different life than me and thinks they can judge my life.
“People are oblivious of each others’ issues. It is presumptuous to think you do.”
It isn’t presumptuous to see someone in need and try to fix it. It isn’t presumptuous to see crumbling buildings after an earthquake and to say “Hey, I’m an ER doctor. Maybe the teams pulling human beings out of the wreckage could use my help saving those that can be saved”. This isn’t presumptuous- this is what it means to be a good person.
Some of the most active and impactful volunteers in my community are high net worth individuals who could be going to galas and having their photos taken. But they are presiding over emergency food distribution centers, working the phones to fix an unsafe traffic situation outside a large subsidized housing project which the city has been ignoring for weeks, etc. Our local food bank was a lifeline during covid for families whose breadwinners couldn’t work during the shutdown, and the volunteers who figured out the “contactless” donation and pick up system were “la creme de la creme” of the community. They believe that privilege means taking care of other people. Many of our town’s high earners formed a committee to quickly figure out that special needs kids who could not go to school (because those schools were closed) weren’t just losing out on education- they were missing their PT, Speech, OT, vision screenings, etc. And they came up with solutions, most funded out of their own pockets. Mobile dental clinic to visit subsidized housing complexes for the elderly? Thank you covid and thank you to the generous donors who made it happen.
There is a core group of physicians at our local hospital who have been to every disaster site over the last 20 years. Unpaid. They sleep in shifts, in tents. There is another group of nurses who show up after the docs leave to provide ongoing care once the initial crisis is over. No, the nurses aren’t the highly paid folks- but when the top tier sets the tone, everyone else follows suit.
What a sad world you are describing.
5 Likes
It is just reality. People are preoccupied with their own lives. Life is hectic. You help other people in your own way, when you have time. This is not the only model of living.
Excellent points here, @Mwfan1921!
7 Likes
We need more people like this.
8 Likes
Generalizing is my superpower 
Is your industry in the >$500k/yr category?
I’ve witnessed >$500k/yr people lose jobs and some take months to get their next gig but they never worried about being homeless.
I did indirectly hear about an MD (presumably $250-500k/yr) who developed a drug problem and lose a job then essentially become homeless.
But you’re right, this is just anecdotal and worth only the electrons it’s written in…
It’s easy to take shots at high-income earners because many see them as privileged and unrelatable. But let’s keep in mind that most weren’t always wealthy or earning high incomes. Most high-income earners I know personally came from modest backgrounds, and several are immigrants who arrived here with no network to tap into or privilege to draw upon. It takes most people years, even decades, to reach senior positions where they’re earning $500K+. And typically, that’s the result of a combination of hard work, talent, drive, the ability to spot and seize the right opportunities, and yes, a certain amount of luck.
It seems like we’re a society that cheers people on as they succeed and improve their socioeconomic status — but only up to a certain point. 
7 Likes
It is hard to know - and understand- someone else’s situation. A family of 4 making $500,000 from 2 wage earners in a high COL area, let’s say NYC, is almost certainly enjoying a higher standard of living than a family making $100,000. But it’s also easy to see wherr the money goes.
Per Gemini, they’d have $285,000 in takehome pay. This is a market where most people have to pay for private schools - the test-in publics are excellent but far from assured. Most private schools are about $70,000 p.a., so that brings that down to $145,000 (2 kids).
Rent for a 3BR (lower end) in Manhattan, is about $95,000. That leaves $60,000 for clothes, food, commuting, summer activities for kids, medical, sports, 401K, etc. It’s not a struggle to see why they feel strapped.
But to an outsider, living in a 3BR in Manhattan and attending private schools is a luxury lifestyle!
If this family wanted to find a cheaper school - i.e., a parochial school (about $45,000 cheaper) or could test into a magnet public (free), that would free up a huge chunk of change.
If they could move to Queens or across the river in NJ, that could save money. But as mentioned, that isn’t always an option. If someone regularly works late, if a parent needs to be able to get to their kid quickly in an emergency, etc., paying for proximity becomes a necessity.
I suspect what we can agree on is that a family making $50,000 simply will not have the option of which “necessities” to spend on.
8 Likes
One thing not in the study is the assets that people in different pay ranges may have. The $500k family may live paycheck to paycheck, but have 3 expensive cars and a huge mansion, very different from the $50K family having a beat up car and paying rent for an apartment.
There is potential for the higher earner to liquidate assets to pay their bills, provided they are not so highly leveraged that they don’t really have assets.
1 Like
Life Feeling Too Expensive? It’s Not Just You.
And It’s Not Just Inflation.
Affordability is expected to be a major issue for younger voters in the midterms. Here’s a snapshot of some reasons people are feeling pinched.
gift link https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2026/10/21/us/inflation-prices-real-estate-child-care-affordabilty.html?unlocked_article_code=1.KlE.Jyem.MzapqcpoCgWg&smid=url-share
1 Like
Among wealthy friends who leave $$$$$ jobs, I’ve noted that they often pick up consulting gigs which may or may not lead to a new job.
1 Like
the hidden item in the budget here is taxes that you explicitly spelt out. NYC charges 4% on top of whatever the feds and the state charge. I think the top marginal rate hits 52% in NYC and something like 55% in California. At this point you may or may not even be using the schools.
4 Likes
In Manhattan (which is my frame of reference) — highly unlikely. $500k doesn’t go all that far for a family of four, as @gardenstategal pointed out above. Buying a 3 bedroom apartment would be a stretch, let alone a “huge” mansion. And they’d have to pay thousands a month just to park those expensive cars.
No one here is disputing that they have more options than someone earning $50k, but their lifestyle isn’t necessarily as fancy and frivolous as some might believe.
5 Likes
NYC has excellent public schools with buses for those who live more than a certain distance (depending on grade level) and almost unlimited public transportation for high school students.
3 Likes
I’ve thought the 1 yr garden leave is when you still get paid from your prior employer while taking some unrelated tech/startup/yc job and banking more $. May be i’m missing something but this is not something i w looked at that closely. S22 has the 12 month garden leave clause but it seemed very flexible.