Googling your child's roommates

Parents Forum
81

<p>I just brought up this topic with DS1. He said he wouldn’t google a roommate, but would try to make contact via Facebook. Doesn’t care if I google said person – but as I said before he may feel quite differently by next summer when the question isn’t just an amusing hypothetical. He knows several people at every school on his list, so my guess is that he’ll find out whatever he needs to know through the grapevine.</p>

<p>Doubleplay – what you said about kids wanting to recreate themselves really resonated – I heard that from so many of DS’s senior friends this past year. Many of them wanted a college experience totally unlike their HS one, and it was reflected in their college choices. Makes sense that they want to try on some new personal roles as they enter adulthood.</p>

82

<p>My parents don’t know my roommate’s name. And they don’t have the password to my online account either, like some friend’s parents. I basically just told them it didn’t really affect them or matter until they met them. And then they can google away if they want but frankly I think it’s weird. </p>

<p>We did find it each other on Facebook and message about stuff though. I haven’t googled yet because I doubt it will yield any information of interest.</p>

83

<p>i didnt google but i did search for them on myspace and facebook.</p>

<p>my mom was worse, she looked up their addresses of their houses on zillow!!! :-/</p>

84

<p>It would never bother me to have my parents google a potential roommate of mine (or anyone else, for that matter). It’s just curiosity. Heck, I’d probably do it and then show them any interesting results. The only thing that I would find bothersome is if they became unnecessarily paranoid/imaginative about the information and started to stress me out (waiting for a roommate is stressful enough without a parent hanging around going “I can’t believe she was in the _____ club…you’ll never get along!”). Ah, and the other bad thing would be if, upon or soon after meeting, my parents told the roommate that they had googled her. That would have to be a story for waaay down the line, or never :p</p>

<p>Googling a roommate, forming judgment, writing to the school and requesting a roommate change without your kid’s knowledge = overstepping boundaries. Googling a roommate because you’re curious about who your 17 or barely 18 year old kid will be living with, in the housing that you’re probably paying for = just fine. </p>

<p>If you’re 18 and you’re “adult” enough to be moving away from home and handling a roommate, then sorry, but you’re adult enough to deal with your mom using google however she pleases.</p>

85

<p>ok–I did it, but I’m not sure if I came up with the right person. I’ll meet him soon anyway.</p>

<p>I have an unusual name, so I’m the only one of me and have several pages.</p>

<p>My son is the main one that comes up under his name, thjugh there is also a reference to a criminal with his name (different middle initial). It surprises me when I google someone, an adult at least, and there’s nothing there. How does anyone manage to stay so anonymous?</p>

<p>What is “Cache”?</p>

86

<p>I’m sure my parents googled my roommate. They google EVERYONE.</p>

<p>Funny story… I was dating this guy that my parents are still dead set on me marrying (Ivy league grad, law student, Jewish… that’s like the prototype for marriage material to my parents), so my mom casually asked for his name so I gave it to her, not thinking about it. 2 days later he called me and said my dad had emailed him with opinions on EVERY article he had on his college’s newspaper. Ugh… dads… At least he thought it was funny, and not as creeped out as I would have been.</p>

87

<p>As parents, hopefully…except those subset of parents who are really just overgrown teenagers trying to be best friends with their kids and their kids friends instead of being parents…know the risks of the real world out there. True, our kids have to learn for themselves…sometimes the hard way. But it helps to give them forewarning. When we parents were coming along, we didnt have cellphones, internet, google, facebook etc. So we were going in blind. But now we have tools to help us.</p>

<p>It doesnt take a rocket scientist to see the risks. But kids often DONT see it. Scientific studies have proven that kids brains are not fully developed until their early 20’s and the part of the brain to assess and judge risk is one of the last to develop. They are curious, excited, and full of themselves and think NOTHING will ever happen to them until it does.</p>

<p>There is a fine line between prudence and prying.</p>

<p>A suggestion is asking you D or S to google their roomates. 99% of the time, they will only find good stuff and perhaps some interesting facts. But that 1% is what we are concerned about and it may head off a disaster. Even schools like Notre Dame who profess to admit only top drawer kids with integrity make mistakes.</p>

<p>You would be AMAZED at how many kids in my community have rap sheets from THIS SUMMER…mostly from parties and drunk driving. Good kids, super grades and admitted to PRESTIGIOUS schools…including some Ivy League Schools…the parents are ASLEEP at the wheel.</p>

<p>I know of one girl a few years ago who went to Davidson College. Her first year roomate was a wicked drunk and slept with more boys than a truck stop hooker. Pathetic. It affected her grades and well being putting up with this monster roomate.</p>

<p>Would google figure that out or disclose it? Perhaps not. But it might have had tips and clues.</p>

<p>Colleges are becoming more sensitive about this stuff and they are googling and facebook checking themselves in the admission process.</p>

<p>Which I applaud.</p>

<p>And its not just big city kids or State U kids who have notorious backgrounds. Sometimes it surprises you…kids from prestigious prep schools, etc.</p>

<p>Washington and Lee University professes to be “all about integrity and the honor code in all walks of life.” I know enough about some kids who are going there to fill a book. But its not my kid and my D is not going there, so its not my problem.</p>

<p>The biggest problem with roomates is usually study habits, night owls, and messy slobs etc. Some schools ask you up front about your personal habits so they dont put a prissy neurotic clean freak with a loosy goosy slob.</p>

<p>My advice to my D? Dont expect Snow White. Learn to get along with everyone, and always keep your right hand up and take the high road.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

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</p>

<p>I always wonder the same thing.</p>

<p>frasifrasi: Love your post #78-- very funny.</p>

89

<p>I googled my roommate and found we have met at least twice already. I didn’t pick up on it at all from talking to her on facebook/email, probably because neither of us use our proper names in everyday life. Now looking at her facebook picture, I do recall her slightly, but I haven’t mentioned it. We didn’t particularly befriend each other when we met before.</p>

90

<p>I’ve used Google Alerts with my own name and names of husband and kids. As their website describes it-</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.google.com/alerts[/url]”>http://www.google.com/alerts&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Google Alerts are email updates of the latest relevant Google results (web, news, etc.) based on your choice of query or topic.</p>

<p>Some handy uses of Google Alerts include:
-monitoring a developing news story
-keeping current on a competitor or industry
-getting the latest on a celebrity or event
-keeping tabs on your favorite sports teams</p>

<p>I think it’s a pretty good way to keep track of what’s being published about you online. I’ve never come across anything bad, thank goodness, but if you share a name with someone notorious, it might be good to know that others might think it’s you when THEY Google you!</p>

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<p>friedokra -</p>

<p>“There is a fine line between prudence and prying.”</p>

<p>Please define.</p>

92

<p>Oh, you know, I think Google only goes so far. When we get my son’s roommate name, I plan on using one of those online background check services. Because you can never be <em>too</em> sure. And if that turns up anything at all dicey, well, a private investigator is the only way to go. </p>

<p>Just sayin’.</p>

93

<p>I did this only after my D expressed some concerns after having some “interesting” email exchanges with her furure roomate. Turns out they are not a good fit, and will not be rooming together. I’m glad we checked, as I think she saved herself a tough first sememster.</p>

94

<p>This is kind of rude… would u like people googling u??</p>

95

<p>inform—if you don’t think you’ve already been googled by lots of people–from relatives to old acquaintances to work associates, you’re probably sadly mistaken. As wonderful as the internet is, privacy is not one of its selling points.</p>

96

<p>When I google myself, I discover that I am: an MIT grad who teaches at a famous college (I wish), a phamacist from the midwest, an author, a high school outstanding athlete, and a spokesperson for a large company. I didn’t dig down enough to see if the real me emerges, but at least I’m in lofty company!
Years ago I tried to google one of my kid’s new love interest I found out that the person was a 12 year old Gospel star (not). Guess all you with unique names have an advantage.</p>

97

<p>My poor H feels anonymous. No google hits for him!</p>

98

<p>kelsmom: so this is a different kelsdad??!! ;)</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.armchairgm.com/index.php?title=User:Kelsdad[/url]”>User:Kelsdad | ArmchairGM Wiki | Fandom;

99

<p>I almost fell off the couch laughing!!! YES … definitely a different kelsdad!!!</p>

100

<p>Googling me doesn’t work…</p>

<p>According to google, I’m:</p>

<p>a porsche collector from california, a government official from canada, a grad of oxford, a 25-year old from winnetka who was arrested for posession of pot, a tennis champ…</p>

<p>I’m a girl, too… they’re ^^^ all guys. Hehehe. When my school called me this summer to check up on something, they asked for “him”… my mom was all confused. It’s an asexual name, though…</p>