<p>My ex-husband was going to get a vasectomy after we’d had two children, neither planned (but both wanted!). Our marriage was pretty rough though and the night before, I suggested he might want to cancel in case he wanted children with his next wife. I couldn’t be responsible for him having a vasectomy when I didn’t think I could stay married to him much longer. He canceled the appointment, we divorced shortly after and he hasn’t remarried and will most definitely not be having any more kids at this point. But at the time, it was a possibility and I didn’t want to rob him of that possibility. </p>
<p>I continued bcp for years after having a tubal ligation. One had nothing to do w the other. Frankly there’s no reason I shouldn’t still be on them today, other than I just got lazy and decided to stop. </p>
<p>“So I guess taking hormones indefinitely, is just a way to improve on mother nature?
I get it.
Better living through science.”</p>
<p>On another thread you discussed your H taking melatonin. What’s the difference? That’s better living through science. That’s just as unnatural. So is a V, by the way. </p>
<p>This came up in the discussion with my doc about scenarios. I was told there was a pretty good chance that trying to reverse the vasectomy would not work … it was a long time ago but I remember the odds as being 10-20% that a reversal would not work. The docs punchline was do not have the vasectomy until you are 100% sure you do not want to father children again under any circumstances. Mine was 15+ years ago so the procedure probably has improved and the limitations may well be less severe now also.</p>
<p>Niq, you’re in Tampa…X has billboards on I-75, I-4, US !9…you must drive with your eyes closed. His office is across street from USF at Fletcher and Bruce B. Downs…go over there and introduce yourself. He’s up to over 32,000 vasectomies now.</p>
<p>I was personally done having children at 40 but I thought that if something happened to me it was entirely possible that my H could conceivably remarry someone who wanted kids so the pill was a very reasonable and not permanent solution for us. If for some reason I would have needed a c-section with 3 I would have had my tubes tied. My H offered to get snipped and I told him no. I never viewed the discussion as a responsibility issue I viewed it as a pragmatic discussion. I did not want any more kids and my H did not want anymore kids with me. If H unexpectedly died I still did not want anymore kids. If I unexpectedly died H might find himself feeling differently. My physician also thought the benefits of being on the pill for a decade outweighed the negatives for me. I had never used the pill before that point in time. </p>
<p>The key for ME was I NEVER wanted to be pregnant again after my youngest was born…not for any reason. EVER. Since I was the one with this desire, it never dawned on me to insist that my husband do ANYTHING about it. I viewed this as a joint decision which really was mine at the end of the day. I had my tubes tied in conjunction with a c-section.</p>
<p>I am so glad that we are in an era where women have so many options available to allow them the opportunity to plan their families as they choose.</p>
<p>However, I have to say, whenever I hear a man say that under no circumstances would they consider having a vasectomy (or those who refuse to use condoms), I think that is very selfish and not very attractive. It should be a joint decision in a relationship, and the options should be on the table.</p>
<p>After my husband had his vasectomy, my grandmother was always asking him, but what if you remarry and she wants to have other children? Thanks grandma, I’m still here!</p>
<p>Exactly. I had a dangerous, life threatening pg which ended prematurely. <em>I</em> was the one who knew I couldn’t go through again. It never occurred to me either to even broach the subject of a vasectomy. Whatever for? I got this one. </p>
<p>Yes I was the partner who was totally emotionally done having kids and it was my H who volunteered to get a vasectomy and me who told him no. I never saw it a “prove your love” type thing although I know a few women who do view it that way.</p>
<p>I would never take a birth control pill, unless it was for a very serious medical conditions. It’s just not something I would put in my body, unless absolutely necessary for a serious medical situation. I have no issues with women who chose to use it, but I do see it as a problem that it seems that some men expect their partners/spouses to use it, because it’s an ‘easy’ alternative. I am with OP on this one. </p>
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