Worthless- the world is filled with talented and accomplished and acclaimed people whose achievements mean nothing to them because they think they are losers and unworthy.
You don’t need to be one of them. You DO need to get professional help- now.
And I don’t know your family situation, but I’m willing to be there are family members of your mom’s who miss her just as much as you do. And if you pick up the phone to one of them (one of her siblings? a cousin? a grandparent?) to say “I’m missing mom today and feeling blue” they will be thrilled to hear your voice.
Condolences to you. Grief is a tough bear to wrestle alone.
I don’t think you sound like a loser. I think you sound like a winner who is facing some challenges. And needs some outside help to survive those challenges.
Would you sit on an airplane that was losing oxygen and refuse to put on your oxygen mask? No. You would reach out your hand and grab the mask. So do that- reach out your hand and grab the mask. Walk over to the counseling center- NOW.