Wow - Nordie’s mysteriously “price-matching” someone’s 25% discount on Lonchamp totes. If you need one, get it now, because they rarely go on sale.
I agree that spending “too much” on GF might make her and S uncomfortable. I’d go with something in the $100 or so price range to keep things more comfortable. Those bags are nice, but I don’t see them used around HI so much. Might be too big a bag for a petite 5’ 2" person.
My boyfriend’s parents (now my in-laws) gave me a nice quality neutral colored carry on luggage bag with my monogram as a college grad gift. I used it a lot!
I recently gave my sister a navy blue rolling carry on that is very light weight by BRIC. Not cheap but I have the same one and take it everywhere.
I think the Longchamp bag is a better idea than kitchen stuff. More personal IMO. A gift certificate to a very special restaurant would be better in my opinion.
Something to do with the school she graduated from may be an idea. My D1 has her diploma framed in a very nice frame hanging in her bedroom. Her bf also had the school banner framed and she has that hanging. You might check the school bookstore, as they probably have suggestions.
My brother got a Rolex watch from his girlfriend (now wife) parents for his MBA graduation. I think her parents got it for him because they knew they were going to get engaged soon. OP did say they have been going out for a long time and anticipate the GF will be in their life for a while. I don’t think OP needs us to “judge” if the amount she wants to spend is appropriate. I would trust her to know what is appropriate. It is one thing about CC is people always want to judge what is appropriate to spend, and most of the time it is based on what they can afford or want to spend.
D1 got her BF’s sister a Longchamp bag for her college graduation. The sister was over the moon, but it’s not a bag D1 would necessary carry. She asked BF’s mother what the sister would want. If I were OP, I would ask the girl’s mother or sister to see what she would like.
@oldfort, since your post seems to be directed at mine, please let me explain that I am not judging OP. I did, however, note 2 things: (1) BOTH the OP’s son and his GF are graduating this year. I do think that if OP spends $300-500 on the GF’s present, her parents may feel pressured to spend an equal amount on OP’s S. (2) According to the OP, the young woman has spent hours working as a waitress so she can graduate without debt. (See #35.) To me, that language suggests that the young woman is PROBABLY from a family that isn’t particularly affluent.
I simply pointed out that for SOME young women, accepting a gift worth that amount of $ from a boyfriend’s parents would be awkward IF they knew that their parents can not reciprocate in kind and might feel awkward about it.
OP may well feel that’s not an issue in this case. If it isn’t, it isn’t. I’m simply voicing my opinion.
I agree that if she isn’t opposed to being pampered( some women actually do not like the idea of getting a massage…hard to believe I know) the best gift I ever got from a sister in law was a spa day…2 massage type body treatments and pedicure, manicure or facial…so relaxing and very timely if she’s feeling a bit stressed about getting a job.And with the facial and manicure she’ll be feeling confident for her interviews. …
“(1) BOTH the OP’s son and his GF are graduating this year. I do think that if OP spends $300-500 on the GF’s present, her parents may feel pressured to spend an equal amount on OP’s S”
My parents were always very generous with gifts.
When I was dating / engaged to H, they gave him a Cartier watch. (I was like - huh? Where’s my Cartier watch? LOL)
And yes, since my parents and my ILs-to-be were of similar economic means, I would and did focus on a lot on … my parents gave us $X, how come your parents didn’t do the same whenever it came to birthdays, anniversaries, and so forth. And I know your parents can afford it because look, they just spent $ on blah-blah-blah for themselves. I resented it, and I steamed, and so forth.
And then I grew up, and became soooo much happier once I let go of those expectations. My H’s family aren’t gifters. That’s not what they are. And I was wrong for mentally comparing and contrasting. Just saying.
I’m not in the OP’s position, but I plan to spend what I want to spend eventually one day on a DIL or SIL, and I’m not going to be bound by worrying about what other people think – whether it’s not enough, or way too much, or whether the other side “should” spend more or less. It’s just not worth it.
I love the Hermes bracelets oldfort linked to - the only comment I have is that even though they are lovely, classic and timeless, I’m not a bracelet wearer (too much time at a computer where it would bang) so I would feel badly if someone bought me such a pretty bracelet and I wound up not using it.
OP here. I appreciate everyone who took the time to share their ideas and opinions. I only put a dollar amount out there because it makes it easier for others to suggest a gift. Her family is generous with my son and I have never worried about making sure we “match” on gifts from a $$$ end. We are middle class people but this is a BIG thing for her and I want to recognize that.
I am wanting to do something special as she is her first in her family to go to college. I was happy to help her though the application experience and esp understand the magnitude of student loan debt.
So I want to celebrate her accomplishments. Even if they break up, I love this girl and will celebrate her graduation.
I really like the idea of a private chef giving her pivate lessons for her gift.
One piece of cookware that we have found to be really different is an unglazed clay pot like these ones. http://www.romertopfonline.com/clay-bakers/ We have it in two sizes and really love the dishes made using it. It’s also good for baking bread. The secret it to soak the clay pot for 15-20 minutes and bake it, starting with a cold oven that rises to the desired temperature. Food cooked in it is very moist and tender.
Yes, GMTbetterhalf surprised me w a matching Tumi rollaboard & tote that I HATE. Ironically it was the exact set that S1 & I saw in the Tumi store, and we chatted that it was a stupid design. GMTbetterhalf bought it overseas, and the store wouldn’t take it back. I’m still using my really beat up old rollaboard & backpack instead of that expensive Tumi set.
Sorry to resurrect an old thread, but once again I am at a loss. A few weeks after I posted my original question, I found the perfect gift–we paid her airfare for their long planned trip to Europe. I hesitated to do that at first because it did not seem very “personal” but I paired it with a Pandora passport charm and she was thrilled. I know she doesn’t really wear that bracelet anymore but …maybe my granddaughter some day…She sent me pix from Europe almost daily so I know it was the right gift for her.
Now my younger son is graduating and I just don’t know his gf. We have only met 4 times and she is very sweet but I don’t feel like I know her. Sometimes she wore jewelry, other times not. A scarf once, but that was two years ago. They are soon to be art school grads with their own sense of design and I am at a loss. She does not know where she will be after graduation but likely moving a great distance. Any ideas?
Budget?
Is your son of no help? He must have a sense of her taste and what she might like.
My son is no help. I think he is just overwhelmed himself…he said he would try to come up with something. I was planning ~$300
How much do you want to spend? I gave a gift certificate for a photo book to a person who celebrated a milestone (was just married). That might be a part of a nice gift. Maybe a couples event–dinner at a posh restaurant in their area and/or a show? When I don’t know folks well, I tend to gift consumables. Experiences are priceless and likely things the young couple may be hesitant to splurge on.
My son’s gf’s parents paid for him to fly down with the gf to their home in Florida last winter and treated him the whole time they were there. It was their grad present to him. She is graduating next weekend and I am also at a loss. She is a girl who has everything and then some. I asked S and he couldn’t think of anything - so I’m just going to pay for a nice dinner out in NYC (where she will be living) or Boston (where he lives) for the two of them.