Reality is difficult sometimes, and the financial stresses of college are where parents need to be the parent and not the cheerleader. First, parents should be contributing to a 529 plan; anything you can put into that helps. Second, kids must be informed as to the importance of solid academic performance, as that can help with scholarship money. Third, kids need to be told up front that financial concerns are going to be a leading factor in where they can go to school. And that is regardless of major; it is simply unrealistic to take on mountains of student debt. Finally, it should be stressed that you do not have to go right to NYC or Chicago right after graduation to find work, and have to try and juggle numerous part time jobs to pay back student loans while also trying to figure out a way to do auditions, etc.
Our history: my D 5 years ago had three acceptances for MT or acting, and one was from an in state school. She took that one, and because of her academic record she had half her tuition paid for. With 529 savings, and her working some part time jobs while in college, she graduated debt free. She also decided not to move right to NYC or Chicago right away, and since graduation in May she has had three performance jobs, two paid gigs and one where she was a lead in a major community theater production. She works for a Performing Arts center, and has a summer contract that has been offered through her UPTA auditions. So she’s actually been on stage perfecting her craft since graduation and making out OK financially (although not as well as if she had been an engineer, which her father wanted, but I lost that argument - another story for another time…).
Hope our story gives some perspective. Wish all of you the best of luck.