<p>maysixxmom–for incredibly affordable clothes you might try consignment stores. You’ll have to look around a little more, but they are there! For a consignment store w/lots & lots of smaller sizes (organized by size), try Plato’s Closet. Just ignore the super-trendy stuff, and you can usually find racks of black dress pants, plus cute sweaters, jewelry, etc.</p>
<p>I don’t think my youngest one grasps what cutting back means</p>
<p>My daughter is very frugal anyway (and not on my tab anymore). WildChild is very conscious of economics- but has never been one to give up life’s luxuries. I’m cutting back on some things I would have sprung for- he’ll have to make do.</p>
<p>We really haven’t changed anything.</p>
<p>With three in university, we have been frugal for years, not much room left to cut back, but we were planning to spend some money on a business expansion and are waiting a few months to see how things pan out. Our business seems pretty stable, but we also did not ‘make bank’ when times were good, so I am hoping we just stay the course.</p>
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<p>This makes a lot of sense–from someone who retired from the super-busy, super stressed world of corporate attorney to stay at home mom almost 20 years ago! The first three months were the hardest–you miss the company of adults. But life fills up your time and now I am soon to retire from being a stay at home MOM (last kid a senior in high school).</p>
<p>Another transition…</p>
<p>OK, ellemenope, we’re living parallel lives I think! I know some will disagree with me but working in the legal field can turn you into a not very happy person. Happily, my family likes me a lot more now. Good to know that life fills up the empty space eventually. I’ll be an empty nester next year too and am already thinking ahead to what I want to be when I grow up!</p>
<p>In response to cutting kid’s EC, we had to stop with Irish Dance. This activity is hugely expensive and with two in Catholic HS and one in grade school, something had to give. We don’t sign them up for camps etc like we used to. I stay home (my line of work never paid enough to cover child care and we chose this option regardless) and we have always tried to be as frugal as we can. I have noticed how much we don’t need new clothes, new “things” just because the new season is upon us or things are on sale. Looking at what we do have, it seems so wrong to go and buy more.</p>
<p>We’re cutting back on eating out. I do less shopping at Whole Foods (but I won’t cut out Traders - their prices are much better). We are not doing our annual vacation between XMas and New Years. I rarely buy new clothes - and when I do, I shop at places that offer discounts like TJs.
I"m thrilled that we held back and did a budget update of our kitchen vs a total renovation. It looks great and cost 1/5 of what my neighbors shellled out. We’re holding off on any painting/new carpeting or other optional house projects.</p>
<p>Wonder if people will cut back on the big grad parties they have around here or the big senior spring break plans.</p>
<p>Not to side-track, but ellemenope & sabaray I’m almost ready to go back to the work world too after 7 years as a SAHM (an attorney, before that). Do you think you both will go back to law? My hub wants me to (bigger $$) but I am getting hives picturing how our household will run with two-full-time working parents (um, chaos?). It’s breaking my heart to think of 7 year old in after-care until 6 p.m. (after leaving the house at 8:30 a.m.). I know families who’ve done this very, very well, but not sure how it would work in ours.</p>
<p>Thinking that super-frugality (returning to the theme of the thread) might avoid that.</p>
<p>Curious if other moms at home are considering full-time work in light of the economic situation?</p>
<p>jolynne - was only at SAHM mom for two years - but have watched my friends move in and out of this status. One friend is a lawyer and found a 9-3 job at a local law firm. Maybe you could do that?</p>
<p>Thanks a lot, toneranger. I’ve been subbing a bit at the local elementary school (as an aide–I keep quiet on the educational background). I’ve been surprised how the house falls apart, everyone gets stressed & I’m only working a few hours a day, a few days a week! </p>
<p>Maybe it just takes practice. The gents in the family don’t even replace their own TP rolls!! </p>
<p>Thanks again.</p>
<p>Jolynne - looks like some training is in order! When I went back to work, my schedule and our household got crazy pretty quickly. So we sat down and figured out roles. My H has been doing laundry now for years - dicey in the beginning - but he’s good at it now. Son took out trash and made dinner (something simple) once per week (starting when he was about 13). Things really do need to change and it can be a painful process in the beginning. Maybe you could hold out a bit longer since you still have a young one.<br>
BTW, lots of my friends works as aides in the local system. Flexibility is great but the $ are not as you know. They seem to figure it out though…we’ll see if that changes with the economy.</p>
<p>Jolynne, I have been a working Mom for close on to 20 years - MD - so I work some long hours. DH was a high school teacher for many years, so that we didn’t have to sweat school vacations too much, they were always in different systems, so there would be a few days that we had to make arrangements. He has been a SAHD now for about a year, but my youngest is driving, so it isn’t a fair comparison.
Some observations - in terms of “things falling apart”, is it your definition or theirs? They can learn to replace their own TP rolls, besides, in our house the TP holders were so cheap and poorly mounted in the first place that it is better for the sheet rock to have the TP next to the toilet. Having a SAHD just means that the chaos is moved/altered - his idea of important steps of housekeeping and mine are very different - we eat very well, but the dusting never gets done, for example.
It would have been much better to have a SAHD when the kids were younger - 8 and less. After about 3rd grade they were so used to us NOT attending school events that they were a little embarassed at our presence. I think 7-8 years old is actually a good time to begin thinking about employment - I’m assuming this is your youngest.</p>
<p>Thanks, cangel & toneranger. Actually re: the ‘falling apart’ – husband has higher standards for cleanliness, etc. than I so it’s probably a mutual definition. </p>
<p>Although I can see his point about a lower-paid/lower-stress job—while it might be easier for me, if he’s going to end up doing housework/running errands/taking care of kids after putting in 9 hard hours a day at a stressful job, it makes sense that what takes me away be well-paying. But. I just know if I do lawyer stuff I’ll be a stress-maniac myself (resume is on the line, legal community is small, want to perform at a high level). And everyone will (likely) suffer. Except maybe on payday.</p>
<p>Thanks again for the helpful insights from you both. I’ve been giving son a pass on ‘life skills’ (e.g. laundry, cooking, etc.) until he finishes his college apps. Now we’re into fin aid apps, so looks like the pass will continue for a bit. Then training can begin!</p>
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<p>Hs are very resilient and trainable creatures, as I determined experimentally. Mine still does not know how to run the dishwasher (although he was the one who put it in) and still confuses kitchen drawers, but he learned to pick color-coordinated socks and pants. And he took over the TP replacement duty in our house. :)</p>
<p>Jolynne, if I were in your situation, the major question I would ask myself is: can I find a law firm or a company where I can leave work at a reasonable time to be home with my family and not slave away on weekends, at least until my kid is a bit older? For instance, right now, my boss makes our outside IP counsel work 24/7, or they would lose us as their client (and it also means I have to check my e-mails on the weekends, too - sigh).</p>
<p>To answer the original poster’s question, we do consume much less now, but it is mostly due to the empty nest.</p>
<p>I’m with BunsenBurner on the major question to ask, Jolynne-- finding the right fit is the key to integrating work with family life. Our legal community is such that there aren’t a multitude of options for part-time employment – the fact that I couldn’t work part-time is one of the reasons I’m not working at all now! </p>
<p>On the plus side- this year I enjoyed a small kitchen garden for the first time in many years- definitely didn’t pay Whole Foods prices for fresh organic herbs and tomatoes! And the lavender I grew and dried will make some great sachets for stocking stuffers this year.</p>
<p>I, for one, don’t plan on going back to practicing law. Of course, I’ve been out 20 years. My friend went back to practicing after a 7 year hiatus. She is practicing tax law, which in her firm doesn’t require lots of nights and weekends.</p>
<p>Another friend worked part time at her firm (which means that she worked a 40 hour week) when her kid was younger. She’s gone back to her regular schedule now that her kid is in high school. She works a lot at home at night now that the technology allows it.</p>
<p>The pace of the practice of law at the bigger law firms is not good for mothers (or fathers), women (or men). But lawyers want to work for these firms because the $$ is great, the quality of work and clients available is high and the prestige factor is important to them.</p>
<p>I would suggest finding a smaller local firm or working in house for a saner lifestyle.</p>
<p>When I quit working, it was a time of crossing our fingers and taking the plunge–the idea was that I would stay at home until the money ran out. It’s been 20 years and thankfully, the money never ran out!</p>
<p>If you can manage to stay at home by living frugally, and your family would benefit from your presence at home, then go for it. If your husband’s job isn’t secure, then you might have to rethink. These uncertain times are making everyone worried.</p>
<p>Thanks, BunsenBurner, sabaray and ellenmenope! Appreciate the insights. I wasn’t even remotely thinking big, corp law or law firm (I was a single mom before, while wking as attny, so did the govt gig to have fam. time). I’ve done a little part-time legal wk over the past few years, though, and I can see that even one brief shoots the stress level through the roof (me–and family!). Now that it’s bearing down on me, I’m re-thinking greater frugality. When I first stayed home w/my baby—we lived on $240 a month for food/household goods for 2 adults & 2 kids (one an infant!).</p>
<p>A great book on enjoying the frugal life (and not viewing it as deprivation): “The Tightwad Gazette Collection” by Amy Dacyczyn.</p>