<p>Silly rules are silly rules - but just do it. </p>
<p>DS is a freshman at Miami (Ohio). It has very generous automatic merit scholarships based upon ACT/SAT and GPA. I called to confirm and was told to file the FAFSA to obtain the merit scholarship - we have an EFC of 99,999. We got the full $9,000 automatic merit scholarship my son qualified for. The reason given was that they would consider all students other need-based scholarships and financial aid after applying any automatic merit scholarships. I don’t know why you just couldn’t opt out of the need- based review, but free money is free money!</p>
<p>"personal contribution he’ll require his kid(s) to make. Things change. We have encouraged our kids to work "</p>
<p>-The best contribution they can make is to work their b–t off in school, get as high GPA as possible. There is no comparison, between pennies that they can contribute out of their pockets and tens of thousands of $$ that top caliber student can get in Merit Scholarships. However, I believe that working experience is very valuable from different prospective. D. has been working while in HS and at college (again, was offerred the best job on campus to work for Chem. prof, based on her academic performance and being generally helpful to others). However, we have hever pushed her into working hard in school, she is just this way.</p>
<p>To clarify, I am adding the following sentence that got cut off from your quote from my previous post, MiamiDAP. What I said was
If you read the quote in its entirety, you will see that for our kids, “work” meant paid and volunteer. I think encouraging kids to help those less fortunate and to give back, using the skills they have, to others is a very important life lesson that cannot come from books and sitting in the classroom. I agree that their job is to work their butts off in the classroom, but their “job” is also to learn time and financial management skills. It is not a matter of either/or, it is both. The volunteerism that my s’s did in middle and HS not only taught them important life lessons, it earned them local and regional awards and recognition, including video clips on a the news that are still available on the web. They did this in addition to their schoolwork. If their academics had dropped, we would have had them look at their outside commitments and paid “jobs” to see if it was out of balance. </p>
<p>Older s chose to do computer repair and was able to do it on his own time schedule (though got lots and lots of “emergency” calls and even was asked to work for a company setting up and fixing their computers at a local trade show-- he had to go on his way back from school!). Younger s chose to earn spending money working fast food in HS. When the hours one co. demanded of him was too much during his college apps time, he quit, and I supported his decision.</p>
<p>Don’t get me wrong-- I totally agree that their academics come first. Both kept up good grades and earned merit scholarships. The combined academic merit and volunteer work earned younger s a very large (full tuition) scholarship at his university. So it isn’t just about the academics to make these kids well rounded and good candidates for merit money, IMO. Now along the lines of what you are saying, we discouraged older s from taking a big time commitment job on campus his freshman year. It would have paid him 60% of his tuition and gone up each year, but it was a big time commitment (though it would have been fun) but we felt it would have been too much to take on while he was pursuing a very time intensive major (engineering) so we discouraged it. A friend of his took the job (“manager” for one of the sports teams) and really enjoyed it. I wonder to this day if our s wishes he’d taken it instead of listening to us. Dunno. But he found plenty of other stuff to do, paid and unpaid (he tutored) to balance his college life. Younger s worked for a chem. professor in his lab last semester. It was very time consuming and he felt it would be too much this semester (he is taking the maximum # of hours allowed) so he isnt working in the lab. </p>
<p>We didn’t “push” our kids either, but older s is by nature a bit more “driven” than younger s. Sometimes we had to encourage older s to slow down and do a little less-- with younger s it was the opposite. The $$ they earned in HS was theirs to spend, not to contribute to college. The value of what they learned in their volunteerism and time management-- priceless.</p>
<p>^Yes, my D. has volunteered a lot also, during HS and much more and in position of great responsibility at college. She enjoyed it a lot and was proud of the fact that she has saved somebody’s life (at least she believes so after police reported back to her). She also personally got a lot out of it, skills that will be very helpful in her future career. Yes, kids are different although in the same family. “Sometimes we had to encourage older s to slow down and do a little less” - the same experience with D., she never listened though, she trusts only herself in her judgement of quality of her work. </p>
<p>Sorry for taking thread in slightly different direction. But I feel that academic performance is the best bet to achieve free or almost free college education. Given that kids still do not miss on important stuff like sports, arts, jobs, vounteering and generally being social and helpful to others. Balanced life is the best way.</p>
<p>I think we are in agreement- I jut didnt get why you snipped part of my comment that changed the meaning of what I said.</p>
<p>In the many “how much allowance should my college kid get” threads, I fall on the side that says they should focus on work and I will give them an allowance. I do not agree with the “dont give them a dime - tell them to get a job because I worked my way through school” mentality. I totally agree that there is a far better chance of getting merit money than FA scholarship money, and all things considered, academic success is of paramount importance in college acceptance and success. That said, I still remember that thread from several years ago about the totally spoiled brat daughter who never worked a day in her life and went ballistic when daddy cut off her credit cards. That kind of mentality just totally slays me.</p>
<p>As far as my kids go, we’ll provide well for them through high school. But we’ll provide things that Mom & Dad see as essential and important, not necessarily what my kids think is essential. In a lot of families, there is disparity between what kids want and what parents want to provide and undoubtably it will be the same with our family as well.</p>
<p>I don’t think I’ll let my kids work during the school year through high school. Their job in the school year is to be a student first. Summers are fair game for working, and if they want spending money for the school year, they’ll be working in the summer. </p>
<p>As far as college, we’ll provide the intended portion of room & board, books, and tuition. And that is all that is necessary for college kids. As somebody said on another thread, “it’s ok to be broke in college - that why they call them starving college kids.” It’s up them if they want to work in the school year or not.</p>
<p>As for my family, I don’t consider volunteer work to be an acceptable alternative to paid work. A person can volunteer if they want, but that is what they do when they aren’t working. That’s my opinion and the way that I am.</p>
<p>MiamiDAP, I’m glad your kids did well with scholarships. I won’t be following the same strategy with mine because I don’t feel that not saving up a penny and hoping the kids will win scholarships is a good strategy for paying for college. I’m glad it worked out for you.</p>
<p>You are wise to start saving now, BOTW. Having the $$ in the bank gives you lots of options down the road. Younger s’s college expenses are way low due to the very nice scholarships he has, so the balance of what we saved for college will go towards his grad or professional school. We have told him that the $ is earmarked for education, not a corvette.</p>
<p>His HS fast food job started as a summer job after his sophomore yr of HS. He just chose to continue it as he was able (and they were happy to work with him and his schedule) into his junior year and the following summer, in between his Duke TIP classes. When he changed to a higher paying job fall of his sr year that was closer to home, they put unreasonable demands on him (excessive hours and doing scuzzy stuff like wash the owners car during a drought with stiff water restrictions in place).He quit after a month. We supported him.</p>
<p>I do hope you will rethink the volunteer work, BOTW. It is a very important life lesson, and should be fit into everyone’s life. JMO. Even if it starts as walkathons when your kids are in elementary school (thats how we started) it is very important. IMO, people are too self focused these days. </p>
<p>I am scheduled to give blood for a friend’s mother, and am looking into giving platelets for a friend who is undergoing chemotherapy for multiple myeloma and whose younger s was killed in an auto accident a few years ago (on his- the dad’s- birthday, no less). I dont mean to derail this thread-- just want to emphasize the importance of giving to others as part of an overall education of your kid (s). Hopefully you will never fall on hard times, but if perchance you do, you will appreciate the things people do who volunteer their time/energy for you. Again, JMO, FWIW</p>
<p>Little correction: we were not hoping that kid will win Merit scholarships. We did 2 things: 1.we always were available for help in homework and D. has used us to her great advantange; 2. D. applied only to UG that she knew she would get Merit $$. Hope is good, but solid plan is much better. And in addition, we have lots in 401K to cover tuition at any place many times over and yes, we can draw from it without fine if we will need it for D’s Graduate school tuition, which we have promised to pay, since we did not have to pay UG tuition. That was also part of the plan.</p>
<p>Every family is different, and whatever each family is doing apparently is the best for this family.</p>
<p>You know, one of the biggest life lessons about being a parent, BOTW, is that you have to stay flexible and respond to situations that present themselves, instead of declaring that these are the principles while the kid is still in diapers. There is simply NO NEED to have “philosophies” about these types of things right now. Things change. Who knows. You are going to be in for a major shock as a parent if you think you can decide all of these things upfront before baby is even born. My perspective on my kids’ working during the school year changed from one year to the next based on certain life circumstances and opportunities – when we were here in the moment, with 16 / 17 / 18 yo’s. I’m sorry, but there is no need to make these pronouncements now or even think about them. This tendency will NOT serve you well as a parent.</p>
<p>^^ I agree with PG. Your philosophies on this subject probably will change as you go through the next 18 years of experience as a parent. Try not to be too firm and inflexible. Starting out with the financial plan is a good start since as you point out - the money can grow over the years but don’t think that you have the entire plan nailed down at this point before the baby is even born and don’t think you need to have it nailed down because you don’t. Remember that it’s not just the child who learns as they grow up, it’s a two way street and we as parents usually learn from our kids and grow as a person as a result.</p>
<p>Folks, I wasn’t looking for parenting advice. This isn’t the right forum for that. I was looking for additional information regarding saving up for college.</p>
<p>You asked about saving for college and in doing so indicated that you had very set-in-stone perspectives about the amount of money you’d pay, what you’d pay for, to what extent the kid could work during the year, etc. All we’re telling you is that you need to be more expansive in your thinking. You seem very black and white. “I want to put this $45K away and that’s that” versus a more nuanced “We’ll start with this, and we’ll plan to add $x every year over the years to top it off.” It has to be a state school. It has to be a western school. The kid cannot work during hs. Etc. What we are telling you is … RELAX. You are trying to predict events 18 years into the future. You have a great financial start; now just relax and enjoy your baby. </p>
<p>What if five years from now, you and / or spouse makes a financial killing and now you have enough money to send kid anywhere? Are you really going to be bound by “well, I said once in 2010 that it has to be a western state school, so there you have it”? Circumstances change. Be open to it.</p>
<p>The OPs myopic approach is really too much. Does the baby’s mother share your rigid view of the future? If my husband starting spouting his “philosophy” and setting down rules for the next eighteen years, especially before I had even given birth, I’d probably shove him right out the door!:)</p>
<p>I will tell you that I put about $40,000 total in a 529 Scholarshare college savings plan, starting about 15 years ago. Because of the stock market downturn, it has only made about $300. That’s now, after this good market month- two years ago, it plummeted. And now we are in a higher tax bracket so we get zero tax advantages on it. I would have been better off to put it in a bank CD. At this point I am just leaving it there hoping to recoup something on it (D is already a sophomore in college). Maybe it will pay for half a year of law school someday.</p>