Wait, how does this even work, putting your emergency funds into Roths, because Roths are “readily accessible”? That sounds like paying penalties to the govt for utilizing those too soon.
H is still working and enjoys it. Is thinking about retiring at 67.5, another five years away. He doesn’t have friends or hobbies, so I worry what it will be like for him.
I’m much more in the “we’ve made it” camp, most importantly because I’m still here after almost 22 years with leukemia and 12 years out from the cardiac arrest caused by my chemo. I got to see my kids grow up. When I was dx’d, the docs said 3-5 years. The guys were 10 & 11 at the time. I’m so, so humbled and thankful.
We both started with nothing, and have always squirreled away the nuts for a rainy day. In the past year, I’m feeling like we will have what we need. Perhaps we’ll have something left for our sons – not life-changing amounts, but something to help with personal or family goals.
Because I’m a planner, researcher and worrier, I feel like “we’ve made it” on the financial front as well. I was in the retirement field (plan administration and benefits communication) for many years. I have a good sense of what we’ll need, I keep a spreadsheet of pension projections, SS estimates, and account balances, and I keep track of our expenses. The medical stuff stresses me, mainly because I am not yet fluent in Medicare and FEHB post-retirement coverage. To relieve that worry, I’m getting started on researching those options. Once I understand it, I’ll be fine. I have two years til I turn 65, which will be my first decision point.
H isn’t convinced yet. He thinks we don’t have enough, but he’s also a worrier. WFH has helped him start to imagine retirement. We’ve always loved to travel, and know that the window for that is likely to close sooner than we’d like. We’ve been kicking that up a notch, and though both sons are far, far away, at least they are in areas of the world that are interesting to visit!
Nevertheless, I miss my paycheck and the sense that my work was valued. I left my career in 2012 with the heart attack, had one other job for two years a few years later. My volunteering has really ramped up this year; I’m now president of our synagogue, which takes about 20 hrs/week, I’m still quilting for charity, and S2 and DIL have been asking for my help with communications work for their Ukrainian charity (mainly online and video work, so I’m learning new skills, which makes me happy). I certainly don’t lack for things to keep me busy!
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Well, we are officially retired, have our mortgage paid off, paid for our kids’ undergrad college and a started car, and kids are in various stages of adulting/off our payroll. We will never be “rich” by some people’s standards, but we won’t eat cat food for dinner either. 3 financial planners have said we are more than fine, and we are older and have more money now than when they said that.
We have all of what we need, and most of what we care about/want. We are healthy and still very active in our early to mid 60s. Our kids may or may not get a substantial inheritance, but our primary goal was/is not to be a burden to them.
We don’t have LTC insurance, but we hope we have enough to self pay.
COVID really helped me mentally know I’d be OK in retirement - I stayed busy every day, not even leaving my neighborhood.
When I was retirement eligible, and seemed to have enough financially, I started taking jobs with less responsibility/stress and doing things to “give back” to my work community, instead of continuing to build my career. That kind of helped ease the transition too.
My husband’s identity was more tied to his career than mine was, but he started hating the politics/administrative stuff related to his job, and is now doing fine working a minimal amount, doing only what he wants to.
We are happy!
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Just saying, there are quite a range of ages on this thread. H didn’t retire until he was 70. Even 5 years before he retired, we wondered if we’d ever be able to save or acquire enough. Things definitely improved after the kids graduated college and the mortgage was done.
Unexpected inheritances were a surprise bonus. Having relatively stable health and cheery kids and a happy marriage have made my life very joyous.
Our lives would have definitely been MUCH less financially comfortable if H had retired at 65 or earlier—so much changed in those last few years of his work.
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DH is still working, too. Not because he likes it, but because it makes him ill at ease to not have an incoming flow of cash, always. We’re traveling more, helping out the adult kids, paying for a wedding, wanting to take family vacations…and he doesn’t want to draw down from savings. Plus, he’s spoken to enough colleagues that say retirement is tough, better to start PT. He’s 64, they make them give up their equity partnership status at 68, although they can still be partners. I imagine he will slow down his business at that point. But he’s tired, I wish he would go PT now.
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Since it’s post-tax, you can withdraw your own Roth contributions at any time without penalty. You just can’t withdraw any earnings without penalty. So if I’ve contributed 10K, and that investment grew by 3K, I can withdraw my original 10K without penalty but not the 3K.
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I live on that thread also, and have learned so much. H and I are 48 but hope to possibly retire early and have really been socking away savings both short term and for retirement. My father always insisted we max out our 401K contributons since day one, and that has been huge. I did not work for almost 15 years, so trying to make up now as much as possible with SEP IRA contributions since I am a WFH contractor. Our biggest issue is that we are not in our forever home, so we have a lot to figure out with that.
We have finally met with a FA who is helping us pull all the pieces together to come up with a more structured plan as we have accounts and assets “all over the place” and need someone to help with a global view. I am not sure we have “made it” but I feel we are on a really strong path!
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Yes I think we made it!
We just paid off the house (delayed after a huge remodel 6 years ago), our three kids graduated college debt-free, we contributed to all three of their weddings and at the moment we don’t have a car payment.
I stopped working earlier than expected because my job ended but between what we had saved, what we inherited and my pension I didn’t have to find a new job.
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Gotcha, you aren’t talking about withdrawing any earnings, just contributions. Though I wouldn’t want to do that either.
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It’s a minimum dollar amount for me. And I realized recently that I had moved the goalposts unnecessarily and would prefer the additional retirement years over more money. So I moved it back. I’ll also be giving up a very nice pension by retiring a decade before I’m eligible for it, but I want to be young and healthy enough to do all the things I want to do. 5 yrs.10 months to go.
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Did I make it?
Yes, completely.
Poor, barrio kid (gang neighborhood).
1 of 7
College grad.
Happily Married. 3 healthy kids.
Just remodeled my kitchen.
Yep, I think I did make it, with a lot of hard work/ positive outlook.
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Outlook is SO important. Your post reminded me… one thing that helped me realize I cared more about retirement than work is when my 53 YO friend went to sleep on a Friday, got up to go to the bathroom, had a brain aneurism (or something like that), fell down and never recovered (died a day or so later). That helped me realize time was more valuable than money after a certain point.
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This is what I keep telling my husband. He can’t keep living like he has 40 more years.
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My brother, who is only 2 years older than me just died. That really brings home how quickly things can change. He’s more than a decade younger than H and had no health conditions other than sleep apnea before he was diagnosed with lymphoma which took him in less than a year.
H’s sister died of cancer over a decade ago and his younger brother got a pacemaker many years ago. We need to cherish the time we have — who knows when our clock will run out?
Both brother and my SisIL were single and left sizable estates and traveled extensively and seemed quite happy in their lives and professions. In many ways, both had “made it.”. We all weren’t ready for them to leave us. Both were still working up until close to the end of their lives—late 60/early 70s.
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The thing is that I had SO MANY hurdles, and I cried a LOT, but I figured that I had nowhere to go but up.
I followed Mr. Rogers advice: “find the helpers”. It worked!
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Hugs to you, Himom.
Our siblings are all alive (some with more than their share of health challenges, to be honest) but after watching a parent cope with an early onset Alzheimer’s diagnosis, I’m with you on cherishing the time we have. And it can’t only be about the money. I love what I do so have no plans to retire, but if I need to downsize- fine. If a healthy retirement means only travel to family, nephew’s weddings, etc.- fine. I don’t have to be on a luxury cruise to feel that I’ve “made it”.
I hope you have happy memories of your brother and the life he led…
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Thanks, @blossom. Yes, I have happy memories of brother, SisIL and parents. I really don’t want to be demented and unable to care for myself and/or in pain.
To this end, we pay for weekly PT to keep ourselves as fit and “tuned” as possible. Its an indulgence we think is well worth it for our bodies and peace of mind.
This is a very relatable thread - truly a daily topic in our house! We certainly feel we have “made it” when it relates to our family. Our 35 year marriage is strong (and fun), our adult sons are both married to wonderful women and we have an adorable grandchild. We are beyond thankful for all of that.
Our FA has assured us that we have also “made it” in regards to our financial picture. Big law partnership has provided us a healthy salary and we have been wise with spending and aggressive savers. We have zero debt. The issue is getting our brains around spending that nest egg without an income. The numbers all make perfect sense - we just need to take the plunge!
The one issue that is worked into our financial plan but we struggle with is insurance. We aren’t quite 60 so are looking at out of pocket costs for several years if the trigger is pulled soon. We also live in a very expensive COL area and plan to remain here. Weather we down size or not is up for discussion but we will remain in the same area.
I really appreciate all the advice here and happy to know that many of us struggle with this issue. H has had a “like”/hate relationship with his career but the stress has been immense and thankfully, he has never defined himself by his work. I do think he is 80% there!
Best of luck to all!!!
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We are several years away from retirement, although H has been saying he will retire within the next year or two. Several friends (older than us) have retired and this topic keeps coming up.
Financially, we are good. Have been for a while. But currently, we both are enjoying our jobs - working from home has definitely changed made it a bit easier too. The paycheck doesn’t hurt - so as long as we are enjoying this and can still do the other things we want to do (travel mainly), why not?
H would love the idea of grandchildren (definitely would spur retirement for him), but unfortunately, our kids are showing no signs of being in any long term relationship, let alone grandchildren 
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This is basically where we are, except W retired a few years ago. A couple years ago we decided to stop adding to savings/retirement, and start spending all my income on travel and whatever else we feel like. I’ve been taking about 6-7 weeks vacation/year, where before I only took about 3 weeks and never more than 1 week contiguous. Last year it was 3.5 weeks in Italy, next month 3.5 weeks in Spain.
It’s been a really nice sort of pre-retirement phase. I’ve mentally dialed back my internal meters for “caring” and “anxiety” at work several big notches. Meanwhile the retirement savings continue to grow organically and we get excellent insurance via my work, but work keeps me engaged with a bunch of great colleagues and forces me to focus and work my brain even when sometimes I’d rather not.
Although we worked hard to get here by saving about 25% of our combined gross income for 30+ years, it feels like we were also incredibly fortunate along the way. Good education to kick off solid careers during a period of economic expansion, no major medical issues impacting our careers or savings, employers with 401k match and ESPP programs, no periods of long unemployment, no massive student loans, no major family issues impacting our savings, etc.
Honestly the whole “save like crazy for retirement” mantra seems really like navigating a minefield where you could get blown up randomly by events beyond your control. We’re nearing the end of minefield, but mindful that we could still get blown up - mostly by medical issues as we age - so it’s time to start enjoying what we have while we’re able.
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