<p>You’d think NJ would have a stronger base than it does. DD wouldn’t apply to TCNJ even though we know some very happy graduates. Convinced it’s still too much of a commuter college for some reason, plus didn’t have an anthropology major.
No clue if the consolidation of Rutgers, possible add-on of College of Medicine and Dentistry will help.</p>
<p>OinJ–congrats! What a wonderful outcome! No more breakdowns :).</p>
<p>OT, but my kids had the same reservations about Rutgers and TCNJ, buses for the former, commuter/suitcase students for both. I know it’s largely perception, but it seems like the Rutgers/TCNJ students are just about always home, at least on the weekends, in our town. Maybe that’s just a factor of this being such a small state, that it’s very feasible to do so.</p>
<p>But it does sound like Wooster is the place for your D, and that is great!</p>
<p>The problem with TCNJ in our community is that next nobody gets in from our hs (only a couple of kids/year). We have seen a lot of kids coming home from Montclair State on week-ends.</p>
<p>TCNJ is great, I’m sure, but they did take that first “good value” rating and run with it to glory. back in the dark ages Montclair was the best after RU (which was all male) and Trenton State was the lower school, although as I think about it, TCNJ was near home and Montclair State was in exotic Upper Montclair and and bus stop from Manhattan. woo hoo.
back to my semi-breakdown-do I plan the COW visit around accepted student weekends at schools she is not even accepted to yet, in case?
oh at last a good fretful subject.</p>
<p>OldinJersey:</p>
<p>I’m so glad to read the good news. Yet another illustration that in-state is not always as good as OOS when it comes to financial aid. Congratulations to your D.</p>
<p>Well, Fordham would be easy enough to make into a day trip, right? Do they hold accepted student weekends prior to accepting the students required to attend? I would want to see packages first, but that is not always possible. We went to 2 of these, and my son visited 2 more to sit in on classes on regular school days. 3 out of 4 of the schools meant one night hotel stays (3 nights total). I felt that it was worth it. Some of these visits were a waste b/c of their aid packages were poor to so-so. My son is at one of the 4 schools visited.</p>
<p>3 of the 4 schools are driving distance, more or less. Fordham, Skidmore and Dickinson, if we leave early in the a.m. We know someone wildly happy at Skidmore and involved in the tour program. DD has not spent as much time on S. though, in part because of our attitude. 1. they did not meet need -by a large amount-for DS back in the day. 2. his best friend attended and mentioned the large amount of pot smoking there.
I do hope she gets in to one of the Jesuit schools and can visit, but not counting on either acceptance or decent aid this year. The application numbers are huge, she would not be in the top %, etc.
Even if that happens I suspect she’ll like COW best. She loved Fordham, loved the president’s speech on the Jesuit ideals, but they can’t match COW or Dickinson for anthropology, and HC has even less I think. imho the moral guidance is a big plus, but as St. A once said - give a child til he’s 7…
An 18 yr old’s moral compass is in place already.</p>
<p>Well, I would do the day trips if they are at convenient times, and Jesuit college trips. If she needs to see COW then I would spend the money to send her to that accepted student’s day b/c you already have the financial package. If the day trips have their accepted student days on inconvenient dates, and she is considering them, I would have her schedule an appointment to shadow a current campus freshman on an off day. My son did that at one school. He gave him a much better feel for that school. For him it was a waste though, b/c the financial aid package was very poor. We did not get the package until later on. At least we did not need to waste money on a hotel since it was a long day trip.</p>
<p>Congrats on College of Wooster…I hold the place in high regard. Had a professor graduated from Wooster that I thought was tops, and he was very very fond of his experience there. Has a great rep for grad school applications later, too.</p>
<p>College of Wooster sure does seem to produce a positive attitude in most kids/parents I’ve come across.</p>
<p>100% need?
I don’t understand. Aren’t people making an effort to SAVE from the time their child is small? So may tax incentives. Explain to me.</p>
<p>If you don’t understand about savings it is because you don’t want to understand. Explain to me why you’re angry about it.</p>
<ol>
<li>100% need means the college helps with the difference between what you can afford (EFC) and the cost of the college, not 100% of the cost of school. If the school is 50,000 and your EFC is 25k, getting a package of loans, grants, workstudy that is 25k is 100% of need.</li>
<li>few schools offer this. That is where you get gap, or “unmet need”. A school might give 100% to 20 students, and meet, on average, 75% of need for everyone else.
We’ve paid more in out-of-pocket medical bills than most people will pay for college for all their kids.
Many American families survive week-to-week. The fact that you could saving is a wonderful circumstance, but I am sure if you sit down you could think of 100 reasons, all legitimate and responsible, for people not being able to save for college.</li>
</ol>
<p>Well, I see you put me in my place. Okay. I’m not angry.I wasn’t angry. I’m never angry, just mystified.</p>
<p>There are loans all over the place for people who either have never saved money for their kids education or for kids who are pursuing their grand dream of going to an expensive college. It’s no one’s right to expect everything fro an institution. </p>
<p>I just think folks should be more realistic and go after what they can afford. That’s what we did. If someone can only afford a community college so go to a community college a year or two. So ?</p>
<p>The thing is there are people who think that is shameful.That it is shameful to come down and do what they can afford to do. But you know what? These people can get meaningful jobs without that expensive, ivy coated degree.</p>
<p>I am still confused, truely, at what part of this bothered you. your post only stated that you didn’t understand why people didn’t SAVE, and mentioned tax incentives. It still seems to me you are mixing up meeting need with a full free ride. I think most families end up trying to send a kid to the school that comes close to asking only for the EFC or a bit above.
there are a few colleges that “meet need”, the rest do not. If the student qualifies for the school and they come close to meeting need for some students, why not try?<br>
I understand all about loans. I have a boatload of them, and this is child three. The schools cannot look at my loans as an expense, by the way. They are considered an optional choice I didn’t need to make.
I am not talking here in this thread about “ivy coated degree” schools.<br>
She applied to, mainly, small LAC that focus on the individual growing as a person, hands on learning, and becoming a good writer within the chosen field. No ivies.
The reason she applied to schools we “couldn’t afford” is there is no way to know which school will meet need. We will still need to borrow to make the EFC, but it gets scary beyond that.
meeting need means the kid gets loans, and more loans when your EFC is low and it’s not Princeton. It means big parent loans on top of that.</p>
<p>Some Liberal Arts college post their merit aid right on their sites.My son goes to one and we only considered it because we found out their merit aid outright. If not ask on the phone when you call, like ," my kid has a so and so SAT , do you have anything for that?" And there were MULTIPLE Liberal Arts colleges where we knew right away where we stood, and if we didn’t, well the heck with them, they were out of the running!</p>
<p>Also, why does you child have to go away to college? By living at home and he/she attending locally you could save. Once your child is actually on campus I’m sure he/she may be able to come up with a group friend living arrangement . What did I do? At one time I worked for a wealthy family babysitting and in exchange they gave me an extra room in their house. There is an on campus resource office for folks looking for students to live in and help. Furthermore, you child will take an entire semester to plan the group living arrangement, or whatever, and in the meantime one semester is done and she was at home and you saved a bundle. </p>
<p>Perhaps you could have your child consider the federal government. Your child could commit to military service and receive help for education. Also, there are programs everywhere. It just takes much much research. </p>
<p>I think the point is, this site, c.c. is a resource. It also take initiative and wits and savvy to develop a stradegy to put your third child through college. What we did was eliminate all colleges we could not afford. All colleges which would not give merit aid had to go. Now, I know most people HERE would never do that, what we did, but we are happier for it and we are looking forward to a debt free retirement. Also, I think you need to get rid of guilt. It’s okay to tell your kid, “hey, this is what we can do. That’s it.” It’s okay to say this. Many, many kids whose parents have given them a private religious education do just this. And many kids accept it and work with it and are happy. My neighborhood is full of them. And if your child is gifted, truly gifted, he/she will rise to the occasion. It will happen.There is MUCH MORE OPPORTUNITY for kids today than there was during the time when we baby boomers were out there competing tooth and nail with each other.</p>
<p>This child would die in military service! She hates most forms of working out. (plus the Iraq, Iran etc situation is scary to me) My oldest did look into it, but it was very far from his college. Both he and first DD are athletes, trained karate from age 5 til college and would have enjoyed the benefits.
I am in complete accord with you. We tried very hard to look only at schools we could afford, hoping for merit money along with grants and loans. Our problem was our finances can be reviewed differently by each school. I spoke to each financial aid office first but didn’t know they’d use one set for federal loans and have the option of using different numbers for grants.
I didn’t know that applications would be up 20% at some of these schools and her stats might not be good enough for admission, let alone merit aid. I cannot tell you how happy we are that COW, which sounds so wonderful for her, accepted her. She’d rather die that attend an Ivy anyway.
You are right that I feel guilty. After calling the college financial aid offices of 4 schools I felt confident that she had a list of great schools that would possibly give merit money and/or need based aid, only to find out months into the application process that we might not be able to send her to them due to the formula differences. Soooo glad this worked out for us.</p>
<p>I just want to say you sound like the most wonderful caring parent doing SO much for your children. It’s so fine of you!</p>
<p>This is what I would do in your position. If my child had low scores and was an at risk college student I would have him/her find a career path.We would have many loving career searching talks so I could find out what exactly she feels she can do. Then I would help to find her part time employment in the easier aspects of that field. If for example, she says she wants to be a teacher I would work right now to find her employment in a Y babysitting or township summer camp program. I also would have her work towards an associate degree first, like teaching assistant. If she said to me , “I want to be a nurse.” I would say go for medical assistant training first.Or if she said, “I want to be a vet.” I would say you know you can be a vet assistant with only a few credits and frankly, Sue, I don’t think with your scores then will take you in vet school right away. Why don’t you work yourself up to it?</p>
<p>I would not put an at risk college student, someone with lower SAT’s into an expensive (for me) liberal arts college because she may not make it. I would not go into debt when the student is at risk of not succeeding with the program.</p>
<p>HOWEVER, if your daughter’s scores are not really low and she is a good student and you think she will succeed in college, well, either have her attend a liberal arts college and live at home for the time being or suck it up and take more loans for her.After all, our children are out greatest resources. Whatever you do it will be the right thing to do.</p>
<p>hmmm. we are all so different. I’d do just the opposite, in fact I am doing just the opposite. This is not an at-risk student. This is a smart child with late diagnosed ADD and a neuro problem that greatly slows physically writing with pen/pencil. (typing is fine) Once diagnosed her grades shot up.
I think a attending college for a BA degree, if one is not totally focused on a profession, (which can change anyway) is to learn to think for oneself, work hard, organize, create, and develop skills that will translate into any profession.
I would not ever assume that a child who is not a star in high school cannot go on to have a great career. If not up to it, life will tell the child she can’t go to vet school. having a parent make clear they think they’re not up to it? no kid needs that.<br>
This worked for me, first child similar SAT, lower grades and class rank in h.s. is now a happy lawyer working for a great firm.</p>
<p>Oh, I’m sure you are absolutely right. I mean I don’t know you or the child.You know best how to deal with the situation! </p>
<p>Did you speak with the guidance department at your child’s school? Oftentimes they are in the know about programs that open. Also, you know, there are many school scholarships available that vary and need based or just require a department opf teacher recommendation.Many of my kids had friends who received scholarships at graduation. Good resource to check.</p>
<p>Please don’t take offense.I do know where you are coming from.You are absolutely doing the right thing!</p>