“He can do what he wants with his own money, regardless of how wise or stupid it is. He can leave it all to his cat if he wants to.”
While I don’t agree with this guy Vic’s views… My uncle is leaving all his money to care for his cats. So I know it can be done.
If his own family have said he is racist, he’s probably racist.
I didn’t mean to imply that Texas was more racist than other places with my “Texas in a nutshell” statement. It’s the family - modern youngest generation, half modern older generation feuding with itself and its past, while Old Texas rides off into the sunset. It reads like a poorly-told Hemingway story.
I hope the 56 year-old Vic really is changing his views on race and religion as he says, just as I hope others of my generation can come to be more accepting. Doubt it, but I’m still hopeful. My family has had its own issues like this in the past generations.
Wouldn’t know. It’s just his mom and twin brother- no other family. They’ve lived in the US for a while and both seem to like my sister very much. shrug
When you say your kids can only marry white people- OR ELSE!- that’s racist. Period. And like @Nrdsb4 said, I’ll take the family’s word on this one.
Sadly, I don’t find this at all surprising, and I’m sure he has many supporters, not “in spite of” but “because of”.
"BunsenBurner: “He can do what he wants with his own money, regardless of how wise or stupid it is. He can leave it all to his cat if he wants to.”
And that would be most likely unenforceable, too. Unless the estate attorney knows how to do that. If a will goes down or if a trust fails, there is always a plan B - the intestacy statutes."
Not if he did it correctly, leaving it to some person with the condition that the person care for the cats in fine fashion. I didn’t really mean literally will it to the cat himself.
“techmom99: I read the law review article you posted. I can’t believe somebody actually titled an article, “Marry Goyim, Get Bupkis.” I shared the title with my personal shagetz, who laughed his goyishe kupf off.”
That title is hilarious.
"TatinG: There are some very religious Jewish families who would not accept their child marrying a non-Jew unless that person converted. "
This is very true.
"MichiganGeorgia: While I don’t agree with this guy Vic’s views… My uncle is leaving all his money to care for his cats. So I know it can be done. "
Seems silly to me when there are so many good causes to support, but people can do what they want with what they own.
A good friend feels this way, and I’m not sure conversion is good enough for her. She would not want her son to marry either of my daughters because of the religion thing, even if they converted. Her son is currently dating a non-Jew, and she’s indifferent to the relationship, ‘knowing’ it will never go anywhere.
If her son was gay, I don’t know if conversion would be okay, but I know it isn’t for a girlfriend.
My SIL married into a very bigoted family. I recall attending her wedding back when I still was dating her brother. Her Father in law was about as unabashedly a bigot as I have ever met - describing how pleased he was that his son had “found a nice white woman”, and much worse.
Fast forward, I am sure he is rolling in his grave that 2 of grand daughters have married young black men. SIL told me that her husband had a hard time even accepting his daughter dating a black man, until she stepped up and told him she will NOT be losing her relationship with her daughter over something so meaningless. He treats her well, they are both happy and are well aware that they will run into hassles/stares down the road. She told us they were prepared to deal with ugliness from older generations, but what has surprised them both is that hate comes at them from people their own ages.
I think religion is different for many because it not only deals with now, but also the hereafter (for those of us who believe in an afterlife). Some folks REALLY want their offspring to be part of that afterlife and feel they won’t if they diverge away from faith - and then put marrying outside of their religion as part of that.
I’ll honestly say I’ve no idea what God thinks of mixed religion marriages if folks “keep” their faith. I can say that we brought our guys up knowing about our faith and why we believe what we believe while always knowing their decision on it is 100% theirs - not ours - to make. Our kids are not and were never “mini-mes.” Even if they “lose” their afterlife with us due to their choice (any choice), I want to enjoy the time here and now with them as much as we can. I can’t fathom kicking them out over it.
But that’s all 100% different than pure racism - assuming God differentiates based upon skin color or place of birth! I think NOT! If God doesn’t, why should we?
We’ve told our kids the only way they’d disappoint us would be if they became pimps, illegal drug dealers (or similar), or terrorists. Beyond that, they could follow their dreams and we’d be on their side.
So far, no regrets and all three have gone different ways from mom/dad (teaching and engineering respectively). I still love my snake lover even though I despise snakes. He’ll be permaculture farming our land. I still love my med school lad even though I’m not fond of medical issues. I still love my gamer/computer geek even though the best I can do is challenge him in Castles or Terraforming Mars. Of course, the plus side is I have a snake relocater if one is spotted near my house (and we’ll get organic food as a great bonus), will soon have a “go to” person for medical questions, and already have someone who is my “go to” IT person fixing any computer problem in minutes or less.
Asking any of them to follow in our footsteps when it isn’t “them” is as dumb as expecting to be able to direct their love life or other choices in life. I love them for who they are. Period.
I had two friends from high school who both did college studies in Asia. Both married women they had met abroad as students. Neither set of parents, one from China and one from Japan, were happy that their daughters married white men. The fact that both husbands spoke the wives’ native language help thaw the ice eventually. And I remember a female Chinese American friend whom met her Japanese future husband stateside in grad school. The husband is a Japanese national, so he and his new bride returned to Japan to resume his career with a Japanese corporation. She told me that she was absolutely miserable living in Japan because of the attitude towards non-Japanese wives, among other things.
So much for my Korean born adopted son.
And I was so hoping for Judge Cunninghan as a future inlaw.
I sensed some disapproval from my former in-laws because they are members of a church and I am not. (Nor is their son, my ex-husband.) It’s fair to say that my different moral and ethical beliefs contributed to the breakup of my marriage: I have stronger morals and am more ethical than both my ex and his dad, and this became very clear over the years.
@TranquilMind “Seems silly to me when there are so many good causes to support, but people can do what they want with what they own.”
My uncle has rescued a number of cats over the years. Which in my opinion is a good cause.
“I think religion is different for many because it not only deals with now, but also the hereafter (for those of us who believe in an afterlife). Some folks REALLY want their offspring to be part of that afterlife and feel they won’t if they diverge away from faith - and then put marrying outside of their religion as part of that.”
Very likely. In one case, the court noted the importance of religion in the parents’ lives and took that into consideration. I can’t imagine any court saying we uphold this will or trust because racism was such an integral part of XYZ’s life. 
Just a side note - if someone is determined to disinherit the kids by “leaving it all to the cat,” unless they really know what they are doing, it would be wise for them to spend a few hundred $$ to engage an attorney knowledgeable in the specifics of T+E law in their state. The kids might get the last laugh after all if the trust documents are poorly drafted and do not adequately provide for what happens with the money after the pet’s “departure.”
Even a court where Vickers Cunningham, or someone with similar views on the subject, is the judge?
This thread is surprising to me, not because of the initial subject, but because of people’s limited understanding of who might issues such prohibitions.
It is not just bigoted Christians or Religious Jews (see how even there, we give the Jew a PARTIAL pass? ) the fact is, MOST ethnic communities and religious (not sort-of religious like episcopal or reform jews or catholics, but more like Jehovah Witness, Muslims, Mormons, Orthodox or Hasidic Jews) have STRONG and explicit expectations of their children to marry within the community.
When I was an undergrad, my study mates were a mixed bag of ethnicities and religions, but many of them were frequently sent off to “paki conventions “ “Jewish singles” “Korean Bible Camp “ and the like. My muslim friend said he would not consider a non-muslim wife. I have many Indian friends whose parents either arranged marriages (or rather, arranged ‘meetings’ with potential husbands for them) or were very upset when they didn’t marry Indian husbands.
My college boyfriend (Korean) eventually entered an arranged marriage. I lived in Japan for a while, and I knew a fair number of mixed couples; it takes a particular kind of person to put up with the attitudes. The white guys did better than the non-Japanese Asians, because of the strained history between Japan and their Asian neighbors; I assume the animosity was not ONE-sided.
And when my college roommate introduced me to her cousin, and eventually I went to their Lithuanian church with them, I caught a brief and sharp exchange between the elderly priest and my future MIL. It made my husband laugh, so I asked what was said. He said the priest took one look at me and my brown eyes (Polish-German) and said “but she’s not Lithuanian” and my MIL replied “that doesn’t make her a bad person!”
FYI, the guy lost. But only by 25 points. 