Hi there,
I really don’t know what to do. I got into a bunch of elite colleges (UChicago, Brown, Carnegie Mellon, Johns Hopkins, UVA) and also University of Maryland’s Honors college with a full ride. I’m interested in studying aerospace engineering/possibly double majoring in physics, however, I definitely want to go onto grad school to get a PhD in physics. My main question: is the prestige at some elite colleges worth being financially wrecked? My family’s in that awkward zone which is too poor to pay for college easily, yet to rich to qualify for much financial aid. Will I jeopardize my chances at being accepted to a good grad school by going to a state school? UMD’s aerospace engineering is top-notch, but having a intellectually stimulating class full of high achieving students is something that is very important to me.
Carnegie Mellon gave me a pretty good scholarship so it’s a bit more affordable, would that be a happy medium?
Thanks for your help!! 
“My main question: is the prestige at some elite colleges worth being financially wrecked?” NO. Absolutely not. your experience and success will be what you make of it no matter where you go.
UMD Honors is full of students just like you. Many got into Chicago/Brown/JHU/Favorite-Name-Here but couldn’t justify the costs. There will be plenty of high achieving students in your classes. If you can’t find intellectual stimulation at UMD it will because you didn’t look very hard for it.
Run the numbers here: http://www.finaid.org/calculators/awardletteradvanced.phtml and talk them over with your parents.
And read through this thread to find out how you could do what you want to do at a place that isn’t nearly as “top-notch” as UMD: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/905843-top-student-at-a-3rd-tier-school-four-years-later-p1.html
If Carnegie Mellon is definitely affordable with the scholarship, then I think you should go there, because it seems like having a highly intellectual environment is important to you. However, affordability is one of the most important factors in selecting a college, and if Carnegie Mellon is going to leave you in a lot of debt, then UMD would be the better option.
UMDCP is a big enough school with enough top students that you should be able to find them (and the honors program presumably help you do that). With a good aerospace engineering major and a full ride, what’s not to like?
“Being financially wrecked” means you should eliminate that school from consideration.
How much is CMU? It certainly could be a happy medium.
And no, feeling better about yourself isn’t worth wrecking your family’s finances.
As @happymomof1 said, there will be an intellectually stimulating group full of high achieving students in UMD Honors.
If you’re going for a PhD, wrecking your family’s finances DEFINITELY does not make sense.
Here are the number of science and engineering PhDs from undergraduate school:
http://www.nsf.gov/statistics/infbrief/nsf08311/
Obviously, on a rate basis, few publics do well, but UMD sends almost as many kids to S&E PhD programs as UPenn, slightly more than Yale, Brown, and Duke, and significantly more than JHU, which means that the top students at UMD are as good that those anywhere, and you certainly can go to a good PhD program from UMD.
BTW, at the very top, UMD is represented: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/1324932-undergraduate-origins-of-harvard-physics-phds.html
Some of your other schools are not.
UMD has an excellent reputation in STEM fields, and graduating from there will prepare you well for grad school or future employment… and you WILL be challenged academically. Congrats on the full ride… I would take it and not look back.
Carnegie Mellon is the best of both worlds for you. Elite school with a scholarship is amazing. I would pick Carnegie Mellon.
How much of a gap is ‘a bit more’? If it’s five to ten thousand dollars a year, that is one thing. But if it’s 20 grand a year, that is $80,000 that you and your family will not be able to spend on grad school.
The honors college at any state flagship university will have all the intellectually stimulating classes full of high achieving students that you could ask for. Full of students who are your equal and quite a few others who are smarter and/or harder-working than you. If you graduate as a top scholar from the UMD honors college, grad school doors will open for you.