<p>When I was at Chicago, there was a 3-2 program with the business school. You could major in history, but come out with an MBA in 5 years. A classmate of mine did it. Maybe you could sell them on something like that (that program may still exist)- a combination of exploring your interests and practicality.</p>
<p>Cucumber … I have no great advice but did want to wish you good luck with your parents. I certainly can emphathize … I’m 47 now and if you ask my Mom about my undergraduate school she will gush on with all sorts of great stores and comments … go back 29 years and for 2 weeks after I picked my school my mom virtually didn’t speak to me because I didn’t go to the “best” school in my field to which I was accpeted … she certainly has forgotten that fact now … and I would say by the time I came home from school for winter break as a freshmen, and obviously happy with me choice, she has been 100% in my camp. Parents have opinions and dreams also … and darn if our kids don’t make different decisions than we would a lot … hopefully, with my kids, I will not let them see anything negative when I would have made a different choice.</p>
<p>Cucumber, I recommend reading Loren Pope’s books Looking Beyond the Ivy League and Colleges that Change Lives. Even though you are past the college selection stage, Pope makes an eloquent argument against the necessity of pushing the pre-professional track during the undergraduate college years. In his descriptions of the value of the liberal arts college, he makes some compelling arguments that may help you make your case. For example, he makes the point that very few people stay in the same job or even the same career indefinitely, today. It’s more important to develop the abiliity to be a critical thinker since that is something you will take with you for the rest of your life. If you were to train exclusively for a narrowly defined path, anything might happen - that career might even become obsolete! He also asks you to take a survey of the successful adults you know. In the majority of cases their college major is totally unrelated to their current career. The ability to develop critical thinking, leadership, and research skills in an excellent undergraduate institution are all invaluable and many times translate into an individual who is more flexible to adjust to the vagaries of any future job market.</p>
<p>Maybe your folks really just need the reassurance that you are serious about your future and have given some thought to all of this. There are kids who are totally unmotivated. That doesn’t sound like you at all! To me, it sounds like you are very intellectually curious and want the opportunity to explore your interests - an admirable thing! </p>
<p>There has been a tremendous cultural shift in the last generation, even for people who are not relatively new to this country. Now, it’s taken for granted by most people that an 18 year old, as an adult, should be making the decisions that will affect his or her life. This has not been the case here for that long of a period of time, and there are many people within all different groups in which the practical reality is no different today. That reality is that if the parent is the one subsidizing the education then whether or not they should, they still CAN influence many of the decisions made in many cases, adult or no adult. </p>
<p>I can imagine certain extreme scenarios under which even many open minded parents would take the ultimate position, a kid performly extremely poorly due to irresponsible behavior, for example, may be asked to withdraw from school, get help, take a gap year etc. before the parents might consider funding the education again. So, a big difference in outlook for some parents is in the degree of control and where they draw their limits. </p>
<p>You sound like an incredibly mature young person and your ability to be sensitive to the reasons your parents feel the way they do is a great reflection on your character. It’s also your greatest asset because by empathizing with them, you can keep the dialog going with them, while still continuing to express your feelings on the subject. I wish you all the best of luck with this!</p>
<p>What if you enter college “undeclared major”? Then will your parents “back off” and let you do the core classes and decide where your strengths are?</p>
<p>With so much money on the line these days (are your parents paying?), it doesn’t surprise me that more parents are “getting involved” with trying to influence their child’s major; No one wants to spend thousands only to have their child graduate with a degree in basket weaving. (No offense meant, but I wonder what “paying parents” must think when their kids graduate with degrees in “women’s studies” or other majors with questionable job market skills.)</p>
<p>cangel is brilliant! not only would taking econ as a minor be a good compromise, but would so inform a history or anthropology major!</p>
<p>try not to be angry w/ your parents, they would not be so upset if they were not deeply concerned w/ your future… i suspect this goes both ways! the more you indicate to them that you are listening to what they have to say, the more they’ll listen to you… Right now they are dealing w/ the loss of a beloved child and may not be so rational. It would be a good time to muster all your maturity and intelligence and demonstrate that to them. Make sure they know you’ve heard them, you could assure them that while you’re not sure what you want to major in, when you’re exploring, you will consider their advice, but you’re not really ready to commit to a firm major.</p>
<p>Chicago & Bezerk are great schools. You have to go where you feel you will do your best; they’ll understand this. You might offer to take on some of the financial burden as that would demonstrate taking some responsibility for your choices… </p>
<p>I have a feeling you’ll be in the windy city next year for your education! Let us know how it all turns out. </p>
<p>p.s. when the conversation goes south, hugs have worked for my kids.</p>
<p>cucumber, did you get my PM?</p>
<p>I think this thread represents CC at its absolute best. The combination of moral support and practical suggestions offered by virtually every poster here has been nothing but positive and helpful. </p>
<p>Cucumber: The only thing I might add to the points already made is that I found your first post so compelling that I persisted in reading it through every paragraph despite its length. That says a great deal just by itself. I wonder if it would be possible for you to present your feelings about choosing a college and major to your parents in writing, with the preface that it is hard sometimes to maintain one’s clarity and objectivity when talking face to face. Perhaps you could cut-and-paste something from your two posts here, and add any relevant points you’ve gleaned from the responses you have received. I found myself especially impressed with your ability to see your parents’ point of view. I just heard a relevant aphorism from Joseph Bruchac, a very wise author of children’s books about Native American culture: he said there is an old Abenaki saying that we have been given two ears so as to hear both sides of the story. By the same token, we have been given only one mouth so as to listen twice as hard. You seem already to have absorbed that lesson. I hope your parents will also.</p>
<p>For whatever it’s worth, I had many friends in college who were English majors and went on to become lawyers and doctors. The ability to think and to write clearly that you develop in a history or English major will stand you in good stead no matter what career you end up pursuing. That being said, a minor in economics, given UChicago’s reputation in that field, will also be an asset, and does offer a chance to mend fences with your parents.</p>
<p>Hello again! </p>
<p>So, I’ve been thinking about cangel’s great Econ minor suggestion and after seeing her latest post and mulling this over with a few of my friends, I have to say it definitely seems like the absolute best option. Extra security that doesn’t compromise what I love, but might actually supplement it? Wow! I hope the Econ class I took was AP-exam focused and that the actual subject taught by the famous Chicago faculty is a bit livelier than what I got. 
In any case I’ll definitely know more about what to do come major/career selecting time than I do now. Its such a simple, fitting suggestion somehow lost in what seemed like an all-or-nothing struggle, until now! Ill talk to my parents or write them a letter (Thanks, Mary.loves.you!) tonight and Ill be sure to mention the versatile skill set that a liberal arts college-y experience and studying history offers. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, thank you all for all the stories about past clashes of will with parents! Im glad to have proof and assurances that everything will eventually smooth over and work out.</p>
<p>Forgive my corniness, but you guys have really been such a great comfort and help, more than I could have imagined when I first hit the “post” button! :)</p>
<p>So, cucumber, have you made a decision? And what do your parents think?</p>
<p>Hey! Comparative Literature major here!. Wrote my senior thesis on Metaphor and Metonymy: Catalogues in Epic Poetry. No I am not kidding. Am now VP of some stuff for a high tech company. Amazing what an MBA and 25 years of living can do for you:).</p>
<p>Actually, concerns by any and all parents today about what the future holds for their kids is a valid consideration…I worry about job options because I see the outsourcing, the consolidation, the downsizing all the time. A lot of companies in Maine have been merged or bought out by companies “from away” and as a result, we don’t have the decision makers physically left in Maine…and so we don’t get to “control” our future. Fundraising is very tough because the money tends to go where the HQ is…</p>
<p>But, financial success does not guarantee security, happiness or health. In fact, in can even introduce a different stress, ie keeping up with the Jones…or crime (theft/fraud/embezzlement) or drugs…
for me, the day to day grind of my professional job (over 30 yrs) is tough to accept…but, the truth is that I am good at what I do. Lucky for me…because if I wasn’t good at it, if I didn’t like it, if my customers didn’t validate my approach to my job, then the grind would get the better of me. My point, cucumber, is that you need to find a balance of what you like against what you want, what you need. The moment you have a family, you are no longer making decisions for just yourself. </p>
<p>Colleges do NOT require kids to pick their major when first setting foot on the campus. Many schools require it by the end of sophmore year. I think that communist countries used to allocate their kids based on tests, demonstrated skills and family connections. America has a pursuit of happiness clause that provides a trump card if one accepts the ownership of their decision. If you abdicate to your parents, and you are unhappy/unsuccessful, then you will get to blame TWO parties, them and yourself. If you do what your heart/mind is asking for, and you are unhappy/unsuccessful, then you only have YOURSELF to blame. Perhaps that is the ultimate final argument to make to the 'rents. “I am doing this because I love you and don’t want to hate/blame you in the future about the road not taken.” </p>
<p>Let us know what you choose/chose, please…also, let us know down the road, how it is going.</p>