The greater gift we can give our kids is being max prepared for our retirement. Not going into hock now and trapping them to take care of our later financial needs. Don’t assume they will be able to, that their careers, family needs and spouses will make it feasible.
And if you become the cranky sort of elder some of us discuss on threads, you can make your dependence nearly unbearable. So yes, stash money in retirement plans.
We all get a bit starry eyed about college choices. The savvy still keep the right perspective.