Hi - I totally hear you and your feelings are legitimate and valid. Everyone is just sharing advice and giving you a different perspective. Right now you are definitely feeling in the dumps about your situation and that’s okay. Take time to mourn your losses. Talk with your school counselors, college counselors, teachers you’re close with/those who wrote your recommendations, a close friend, your family, etc. about why you feel the way that you do. And then . . . once you’ve had some time and perspective, go be the best student you can be at Case and embrace it. If, once you get there, after giving it a fighting chance, you are unhappy or don’t think it’s a good fit, you can always apply to transfer. (My niece went to a selective small liberal arts school after being rejected from her top Ivy+ choices, did not feel it was a fit, got all As, really engaged with her classes/teachers which led to great teacher recs in her first semester, transferred to Brown as a second year – it can be done.) Ultimately, she didn’t think Brown was “all that and a bag of chips” – but she did excel there.
My DS was in the same position before he got into Cal engineering on Ivy day. It was totally unexpected because he’d been rejected from his top choices (al he felt were “more prestigious” ones) and was choosing amongst Case (with a ton of merit aid) and some others that he felt were not up to snuff. He definitely was feeling inferior to his classmates/friends until the Cal admission. He was a prestige hunter and only applied to Case because I said he needed another likely school. We hadn’t even visited it.
We parents wanted him to go to Case (even though Cal was higher ranked, and less expensive) as we felt that the size of the campus and program was a perfect fit, the engineering school is ranked well, it wasn’t in CA (he wanted to leave CA and go back East for college), the support system seemed better (he has “EF” issues), big fish in a little pond theory (see below link) and they have this amazing maker-space (Sear’s think box which he would get a ton of use out of). Although he liked the campus fine (loved the Sear’s think box), he didn’t love the area, wasn’t happy about a few other students who were going or were there already from his school, didn’t want to be in the mid-west (even though it is is the Eastern time zone), but he was resigned to go. He also appreciated that he got so much merit aid which he felt showed that they really wanted him. Then the Cal admission threw a wrench in his decision making plans. He definitely took the time to reflect on his decision, talked with current students, talked with his counselors, looked at the classes/program reqs, went to Case and Cal admitted students day (he’d never been on either campus), I think even made a pros/cons list. His college counselor suggested he close his eyes and think which school he would choose if they were equally prestigious and you couldn’t tell anyone the name of the school, just look at the program/location/etc. Ultimately, he chose Cal, but Case was a close second at the end of the day. It was a difficult choice for him.
All of this is to say – it’s okay to be sad and disappointed in yourself (my DS felt the same way whether or not it was legit). Feel all the feels right now. Just give it your all once you get there, which seems to be your M.O. anyway. Keep coming back here to seek advice/vent/support and report to us on how you’re doing. Everyone who took the time to reply to your thread cares about you and your well being, just like our own kids, even though we’re on this anonymous board. The advice/support/feedback we are giving you is the same we’d give to our own kids.
The big fish in a little pond analogy is best described by Malcolm Gladwell in his book David and Goliath. Here’s the spark notes on Chapter 3 if you’re interested: https://www.sparknotes.com/lit/david-and-goliath/section3/#:~:text=Sometimes%2C%20writes%20Gladwell%2C%20“it%20is%20better%20to,example%20is%20from%20the%20world%20of%20art.
I’d also suggest investigating Frank Bruni’s book, Where you Go is Not Who You’ll Be: https://bookshop.org/p/books/where-you-go-is-not-who-you-ll-be-an-antidote-to-the-college-admissions-mania-frank-bruni/8302450?ean=9781455532681&next=t&source=IndieBound&ref=https%3A%2F%2Ffrankbruni.com%2F
I had my son read both before he made his decision.
Good luck to you in all your future endeavors.
– just one mom’s perspective/experience
