<p>Keep the cat. They’re getting rid of it.</p>
<p>Really, you can be diplomatic about it. Say, Look, you’re just going to give it back, why not let us keep him. We’ve already gotten attached, and we’d give him a wonderful home. Don’t even mention the daughter visiting, so you don’t feel obligated to them. </p>
<p>As for your old ladies, if you return him, I guarantee you they’ll be looking behind every nook and cranny to see where he’s hiding, and they will truly miss him!</p>
<p>OP here.</p>
<p>I didn’t give the kitten (Toby) back. My daughter and I took him to the vet yesterday and he checked out in good health: no diseases, parasites, … We left him overnight and this morning he will have surgery: no more little boy parts.</p>
<p>I still worry about my older cats accepting him. The vet did not alleviate my concerns: one of my cats will definitely have issues. How bad those issues become remains the question. Anyway, another step taken toward making him mine. Cross your fingers for me and know that I’m following advice given here: separate rooms, food and water bowls, litter box …</p>
<p>The other cats have watched him play through a glass paneled door. One cat finds him slightly threatening but interesting. The other cat takes refuge in a cabinet and hisses and growls at the world in general. </p>
<p>Not going to be easy but I really, really want it to work. Thanks for the encouragement.</p>
<p>Ignatius, you are awesome! Keeping Toby and getting him fixed. You are my hero!</p>
<p>The glass door works great. My office is in an addition to the house, with the old patio sliding glass door. This is how I introduce my new cats. I keep them in my office with their own food, litter box, and the other cats get to watch them through the sliding glass door. And boy, do they watch them! </p>
<p>One day, you’ll just slide open the door, and they will saunter in. They will first go to the food bowl and eat, and then use the litter box. They will likely be more interested in his “things” than him, just like a jealous child. They will probably put up a fuss for a few days, but will eventually coexist, albeit in separate rooms.</p>
<p>The issue cat will likely remain the issue cat. I’m guessing this is a calico? They are the ones I’ve had with the most issues. They are the queen, and the rest of the felines are mere minions. </p>
<p>I’m pulling for you to make this work. I think you will enjoy having Toby around, and the old ladies will enjoy watching him from a distance.</p>
<p>I’m so proud of you and thank you for spaying and neutering!</p>
<p>Good for you and your family and Toby, Ignatius! Best of luck.</p>
<p>OP again:</p>
<p>Actually going better than expected. One of my older cats accepts Toby and my problem cat behaves better than expected. We still keep the cats separated unless we are available to intercede … my problem cat exhibits aggressive behavior should Toby get anywhere near. We are lucky Toby doesn’t push it: she growls, etc., and he backs away. Still, the cats coexisted yesterday (within reasonable proximity) for about five hours without incident. I’m pleased.</p>
<p>I did check out (library) Cat vs. Cat. Thanks for the recommendation. We also got a Feliway collar and diffuser to help the situation. (One collar as problem cat went berserk when we tried to put one on her.) And whoever suggested “play” as an icebreaker … it works.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the suggestions. I find the best advice on CC!</p>
<p>Anybody else get riled up about the original owner complaining that the kitten is hyper and claws the furniture so they kept him outside! He’s a kitten! From that sentence it sounds like the person does not deserve to have a pet. I’m so glad you have given him a loving and much better home!</p>
<p>On another note: I had three older cats, and then my husband found an abandoned kitten, so now I have four. The baby is naturally hyper and wants to play, so he is always attacking the other cats. Although we surely do not need five cats, I do regret to some degree not getting another kitten at the same time so he would have a partner in crime. I agree that taking cats in twos in some circumstances is best.</p>
<p>^^^ I have always adopted two kittens at a time. This is my first time to have a lonely only. Toby wants so desperately to have a partner in kitty crime. We play with him as much as possible but another kitten would be more fun. However, no way … we have our two older girls inside and an adopted stray outside-only cat.</p>
<p>My one girl cat (3 others are boys) does enjoy playing moma cat to the baby sometimes, grooming him with a moma’s intensity. I think it fulfills something important within her. Sadly, she can’t trust him not to start to wrestle with her as she grooms. Could one of your girl cats have this reaction?</p>