<p>The drug use and complaints of bad parenting sound like a familiar pattern: a kid who may be self-medicating an undiagnosed condition like depression, anxiety, bipolar, or possibly even schizophrenia. A kid can suffer quietly from one of these for years and interpret the symptoms as something caused by the environment rather than something triggered by the environment (there is an important difference).</p>
<p>Anyway, I also suggest immediate counseling, if only to rule out these possibilities. And until you know better, I would assume that when the kid complains about this or that, it’s because he is trying to understand himself and not simply making excuses.</p>