Agree with @CheddarcheeseMN,
Keep it simple and to the point. I didn’t even bother to read the full first paragraph because I read the first sentence and knew the gist of the rest of it. They don’t have time to read a novel. They already know you didn’t do well.
Focus on one short paragraph:
- **how ** you will improve,
- by using which facilities? tutoring center/writing center
- appointments already scheduled with them^
- monitored by? which professors and counselors have agreed to work with you on campus.