Here are some comments based on my experience. My children are finishing college. I did it pretty close to your financial criteria. The only loans we did were the subsidized ones. YMMV.
- Do not rule out private schools. For my daughters, the check twice a year was pretty much what we paid. There were not a lot of extra fees etc that you can find at public schools. Foreign study required paying for a flight, otherwise it was the same cost as a normal semester.
- Your assets and income do matter. It is not her fault that you have an income. Look for schools that are FAFSA only schools so your assets don’t get in the way (value of your home etc). The college profile where you enter your home and retirement accounts is probably not your friend.
- Consider lower cost areas. This is where you have the biggest issue convincing your daughter. Schools in more rural areas can be an excellent value, and a good experience if she is willing to accept it. My children grew up in Northeast affluence, going to school in the midwest/rustbelt was a very good experience for them. Talk to folks on campus. These days there are cars/vans/airplanes and the students can travel pretty easily. Some of the smaller liberal arts schools in more rural areas provide an excellent education but are looking for students and are willing to help financially.
- Look very carefully at the culture of the school. It can have a big effect on how successful your daughter is. Strong fraternity school? Lots of drinking? Competitive? What do people do for fun? Are students looking to make lots of money, or save the world? These kinds of things can be as important as the criteria you are looking at now.
Good luck!