They are in same classes and in same teams so there is no way to avoid it. To be fair, prom queen isn’t nasty, just mean and self absorbed attention hog but yeah it hurts others around her. I strongly believe that good friends uplift each other, it shouldn’t be a one way thing. Friends shouldn’t put friends down to look good or ignore when they have a chance to be with other popular queens.
All of you raised some great points. I’m glad I posted here.
@SugarlessCandy, Yes, that’s the type of behavior I’m talking about. I had some lengthy chats with my daughter about setting boundaries. Others opinions of her will be influenced by how she allows those around her to treat her. It will eventually have an effect on her own self image. I agree that it’s easier to invest time in other friendships and let those build while she lets this one drift away. She won’t be losing much.
What grade are they in? My D had a friend like that and after freshman year, I asked the GC to keep them separated in classes but they were on the same sports team in 10th grade. When the other girl was injured and couldn’t play anymore, that helped a bit but then both of them did drama club. By the beginning of 12th grade, my D said she was done and that once they graduated, she would probably never see the girl again. At the first winter break from college, the girl called D and they got together. My D said that she had changed and she would give her a chance. They are now both several years out of college, close friends who have vacationed together and who will be serving together in a mutual friend’s wedding next year.
My point is that people change and mature. I never would have thought that my D and this girl would have become the friends that they now are after all the drama of 9th grade. I do think that separating them a bit in HS helped in the long run.
I don’t want to decide it for her so in the end, she has to weigh the pros and cons of this friendship and see if it’s worth it or not. I just asked so when she asks for my input, I give a more thought out advice not a spontaneous response with my personal biases.
When your daughter is venting, you could listen but also reflect back to her what her emotions are. For example: “Drama Queen said/did xyz?” " I can see that would be annoying/unbelievable. " You would just be acknowledging her vent. Then maybe after she has a venting session you could sneek in a question like “why does she do xyz?” Then play it by ear on any further inquiries.
Good Luck!
I’ll do that.