Here's The College Essay That Got A High School Senior Into Every Ivy League School

College Essays
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<p>@fallenchemist‌
If they mentioned 11 AP classes, they would have mentioned an IMO gold medal. I am not at all saying he should not have been accepted - I am saying why aren’t the people who are the top (not 2%) of their class not being accepted?</p>

<p>As for defending the mother, it’s obviously a matter of personal opinion. The poster of that thread posted it to instigate some discussion, not just to look askance at her actions. I am not saying what she did was correct. If you read my post in detail, I clearly said that " I do agree, however, that the jokes should be a bit less extreme." If you can extrapolate the very least from my post, you would see that I meant that I am in support of her intention (a harmless joke), but not her actions (a rather dangerous joke).</p>

<p>Finally, if according to you I lost all my credibility for merely stating my opinion (which is the sole aim of this forum), then you lost all your credibility (according to me) for saying that. </p>

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<p>The essay certainly isn’t bad but it’s not amazing either. I’ve read far better essays that are actually interesting and gripping. Those essays convey the feelings of the writer far better than this one.</p>

<p>I don’t think the essay was what scored him acceptances into all the Ivy’s.</p>

<p>More likely is that his application package as a whole was far above average for black students in general but when compared to the entire applicant body and neglecting his race, his application package is fairly average.</p>

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<p>lesbihonest, this essay was just okay at best and seems like it didn’t even take an hour to write.</p>

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<p>He seems like a delightful young man. I really wanted to be wow’ed by his essay. It was…well…fine. </p>

<p>If I were a pre-application reviewer, I’m afraid I would have handed it back to him and say, “It’s okay, but now, you need to make it sing!” It’s probably good that I don’t do that for a living. </p>

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<p>I’m not going to tear down his essay like some others have. Obviously, it has problems. But at the same time , it’s not bad. Certainly it’s no better than most of my essays. I mean, how hard can it be to say “I’ve done this activity, and done a bunch of different things with it. Music taught me this.”</p>

<p>I’d say it is definitely not his essay that got him in. I’d wager that the factors that mattered were that he was 1. pretty highly qualified all around and 2. a highly desired URM. Neither is enough to get someone in, but having both is pretty good. Plus, 2250 may not be a truly astronomical SAT, but it is for the demographic group that he was likely compared against.</p>

26

<p>It is regrettable that this young man and his family chose to share his admissions outcomes with a newspaper reporter. They may have wrongly assumed that their happiness would be equally shared. Unfortunately what has resulted is an onslaught of bitter and bigoted comments and speculations following articles like the one above and on this forum. It is very, very sad indeed. Why was it necessary to publish his common application essay? I doubt that he was the only student to apply to all of the Ivy schools, or the only one to gain admission to all of them. His essay is one part of his admission application, and the admissions committee at the universities know why they selected him over other students. Perhaps they saw a sincerity and other qualities that made his application package stand out. Just congratulate the young man and move on. </p>

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<p>I thought that a student was not suppose to pile a list of their ECs into the essay ? That is what we are being told. </p>

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<p>@wannabefeynman‌ -

</p>

<p>I guess you didn’t read the part where I told you that these reporters are often not very thorough, especially for what is essentially a feel good piece, not hard news. If you are depending on them to relate all relevant facts like a dissertation, you will be misinformed your entire life.</p>

<p>As far as why people that are ahead of him in class rank are not accepted instead of or as well as him, surely you are not that naive about college admissions. Or have you never heard of the term “holistic admissions”?</p>

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<p>Oh, so in college admissions people of like ethnicity are compared against one another? That would make more sense. Well then, I guess it sort of counts as an accomplishment because it might be tougher for blacks to get Asian-like scores and stats, even if his family is reasonably well-off. You know, stereotypes and stuff like that hold black people back. </p>

<p>@fallenchemist I don’t know if you can generalize and say reporters aren’t thorough usually. They do this for a living. In addition, a lot of what I’ve read in the news, and from different outlets, tend to say the same thing: top 2% in school, 11 APs, 2250 SAT, and violin as a sort of hobby (no competition, that is). Until some news outlet says otherwise, one should assume that all the information they provided is all the relevant information needed.</p>

<p>Feynman saying that he was accepted as a result of being the rare URM with his scores doesn’t mean that he doesn’t think there are “holistic admissions”. On the contrary, it means Feynman does, because this means he thinks colleges don’t just consider scores and GPA, but also consider the circumstances one achieves them. In this case, the kid accomplished his scores while being Black, a great achievement like I said.</p>

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<p>Now that my oldest has made his college decision, I really need to stop visiting CC until next summer, when my twins start applying, but here I am and now to see this thread. </p>

<p>If this thread is representative of the kinds of students who attempt to get into the Ivies, then no wonder this kid received an offer of admission from all 8 schools, as he is just plain likeable and perhaps the Ivies just need some more likeable, nice, smart, passionate people to offset the collection of arrogant, entitled jerks. </p>

<p>His essay is sincere, honest, representative of a thoughtful 18 year old, and clearly not edited over and over again by adults who think they know the secrets of Ivy-caliber essays. Grammatically, he outshines 99% of high school students who attempt to write essays. I score both high school and college essays, and, frankly, his grammar outshines 99% of college students, too. Thematically, he chose to highlight a path in life that has brought him joy and that has allowed him to bring joy to other people, rather than talking about his struggles, or some disease, or some lack of something. In other words, rather than depressing an admissions reader with another story of the greatest struggle ever in human history, he no doubt brought a smile to many of their faces with his simple, well-written, non-manipulative riff on music and his life. His enthusiasm is engaging and sweet, and he just seems like a really nice guy. He does not come across as arrogant, and, for all of his accomplishments (academically, but also his singing and instrumental talent), rather than take the opportunity to explain why he thinks he will be the next Ivy League graduate to change the world, he took the opportunity to focus on what is obviously a passion for him. He clearly and succinctly explains how music motivates him and has helped him to learn about himself and also come to an understanding as to how his life is intertwined with others. He wants to practice medicine someday, and his future patients will be blessed to have a doctor who has the smarts to tackle their health problems, but also the heart and soul of a musician, who will care for them with love and sincerity.</p>

<p>Congratulations to him. And may he just ignore all the yappers biting at his heels.</p>

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<p>thank you Chesterton: "His essay is sincere, honest, representative of a thoughtful 18 year old, and clearly not edited over and over again by adults who think they know the secrets of Ivy-caliber essays. "</p>

<p>good lord, people just want to tear other people down because of their own disappointments.</p>

32

<p>This guy was competing against other african-americans, not everyone. The ivy leagues want to meet a certain quota of diversity, if I am correct. So this guy was the best out of the african americans, not everyone.</p>

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<p>@Suchwowmuchcool‌ - You must have very little experience with the press. For a story like this they usually pick up on one reporter’s story and reprint it, in whole or in part. The fact that they related virtually the exact same facts supports this. You mean to tell me not one reporter, if there had been several, didn’t ask about school clubs or other activities besides viola? Doesn’t pass the smell test. Having been involved in stories that made the papers a few dozen times, I can tell you for a fact they get a lot wrong and don’t dig very deep, unless it is a truly major story.</p>

<p>Where did Feynman say anything about this person being a URM? He never used that term or made any comment that referenced this point. I think you have a different post confused with his on this aspect.</p>

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<p>Keep in mind he is the ‘first generation college student’ or whatever they call them. This is more impressive if you factor that in.</p>

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<p>@fallenchemist‌ Feynman kind of implies it by noting how the kid’s achievements wouldn’t necessarily make him the kind of extraordinary person that would get him in everywhere.</p>

<p>I think you’re overly cynical about the press. For the most part, especially on issues that aren’t politically charged, they are pretty accurate. The fact that there weren’t any other clubs or activities mentioned doesn’t mean there was a dearth of research, it means that there probably wasn’t much else worthy of mention. What your logic basically goes from “the press can’t be trusted” to “therefore, this kid must have something that we don’t see that is getting him into these schools.”</p>

<p>I think that what’s obvious is the truth. He got in being a high-achieving academic black student that happens to be in demand these days. And, in my mind, he deserves the admission because there are challenges associated with being a black student that makes them so rare at the high levels of academic achievement. But it’s wrong to just use “the press is unreliable”, which is a faulty assumption on its own, to justify “he clearly has something amazing that we don’t see”. Don’t call it what it isn’t.</p>

<p>@bozllie from what I’ve read both his parents are nurses, so that wouldn’t be applicable to him.</p>

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<p>Please note that the article says the essay

helped his application.</p>

<p>But having read it I doubt it. Reporters love sound bites and the overwritten essay is just the type of thing readers tend to eat up. As if it is the secret to successful applications.</p>

<p>Chances are that his grades, course selections, test scores and recommendations had more to do with this than essays. If anything, I think it gave great insight into him as a person, but felt too “coached” for my taste.</p>

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<p>@bozlie… shouldn’t you have to read the stories before commenting? Google works like a charm, though I recommend working your way down past results 1-10, as the top results for any news story are often just cut-and-pastes of the same barely informative news piece written by some AP hack, or worse, some freelancer at Examiner.com, and spread like a virus across the web. The current top results for this story are so minimal, dumbed-down, I guess, to inform the Twitter generation that likes its news in 140 characters or less. (Ok, now I am sounding as grouchy as David Letterman looks.)</p>

<p>This student is a first generation American, his parents having immigrated from Ghana to the US in the 1980s, and then both studying here to become nurses.</p>

<p>Thank God for immigrants who remind me what is great about this country.</p>

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<p>I usually don’t get into these kinds of conversations, but the essay that got me into H and Y blows this away… I mean, this isn’t bad, it’s just awkwardly worded at times. Furthermore, it sounds super cliche… “I want to be a doctor (shocker!), but I looove music.”</p>

<p>This kid must have had something really special.</p>

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<p>@suchwowmuchcool - Wow, you went way, way past anything I said or implied. I absolutely never said that because the press is often sloppy (and I am not cynical, you are naive. I have seen this behavior by the press many times regarding stories with which I am intimately familiar), that this kid must have those activities. All I said was that just because they don’t report something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Surely that isn’t beyond belief by anyone. They also didn’t report what the kid has for breakfast. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t eat breakfast. I know, breakfast has nothing to do with his admission. I am making the point that the press often doesn’t report everything related to a story by any means.</p>

<p>I am perfectly comfortable with the idea that this student got into all eight Ivies based on just the factors they reported. I doubt it, but it isn’t beyond imagining. I wasn’t addressing that, but instead just correcting the fallacy put forth by Feynman that because the press doesn’t mention something, even something we all know to be highly related to the topic, doesn’t mean it must not be true. The reporter, for all we know, has little familiarity with the ins and outs of Ivy League admissions criteria, and so didn’t know enough to ask. Don’t think that is possible? I see reporters who know nothing about science assigned to technical stories about scientific breakthroughs all the time. They have no clue what to ask. Maybe that happened here, maybe it didn’t.</p>

<p>Oh, and I disagree Feynman implied anything about his URM status. You inferred it, and now you are trying to make a save. You just had the wrong poster. No biggie.</p>

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<p>It’s not bad, but to me this just doesn’t seem like a standout essay. It is much better than average, but still it doesn’t seem the key to opening the Ivy League.</p>