<p>My 35th is next year and I plan to attend. I do not plan to talk politics nor religion. My mother taught me that neither should be discussed in polite company and that is the category where my reunion would fall.</p>
<p>They will all be thrilled to see me because I was both a cheerleader and the homecoming queen and I am no longer the slender beauty I was in high school. I am, however, still on hubby number 1.</p>
<p>I came from a liberal area. Thought I was conservative until I left the area after college (didn’t want to attend that school, but $…) My HS class had a 16th reunion I recall because they never got around to the 15th… Went to the 25th (without H- more fun because he didn’t know anyone). Somehow there was a speech/reference (this was a long time ago) by/about the speaker at our graduation, the other NMS of our class concerning how something it was- I missed the point completely because either it bored me at the time or wasn’t worth remembering and I was clueless about the reference (felt like raising my hand and saying- what speech, don’t even remember it).</p>
<p>I skipped the 5th and 10th- back THEN they had family activities as well as the dinner- long before I met and married, much less had a kid (the homecoming king and queen had their first not too long after HS graduation- and before they were married nine months). When those activities were finally relevant the organizers had older kids and weren’t into that anymore. I had moved away and some reunions I didn’t bother with because the people I most wanted to see, hear about weren’t attending. I found that those most into them had stayed local, thus retaining connections with each other.</p>
<p>I also have college and medical school to think about. College was so huge and not the type for them so never considered reunions but at the back of my brain was my group of friends getting together after 25 years. It never happened.</p>
<p>My medical school holds 10, 15, etc reunions for all those class years (never get to see people you knew a year ahead or behind you) but the school sponsored events seem to be mostly fund raisers. For the 25th they had a special (free) dinner the second night- saw some who could only make one night. It was supposed to be this big fund raiser in the eyes of the school but we didn’t bite- they tried to auction off a class picture we could “hang on our office” and there were few takers. Hey- we came to see people we knew, not give money or listen to speeches. Some “involved” classmates also sent out letters about a 30th reunion. I polled friends and decided not to go, talked to a classmatewho was local to the town and those sending letters with their names on them didn’t even show. I also found it bad of those who ended up working in that town, some even faculty, who never went to a reunion. The rest of us had to travel, stay in a hotel and take time away from work…</p>
<p>This feels like one of my junkier posts, apologies to all. wanted to put in my 2 cents but not take time to edit…</p>
<p>I obviously had a good time in high school. I found my niche and did ok. If things weren’t good I obviously wouldn’t have sent my kids there. The school changed in some ways (good and bad), the demographic changed, but in the end it was ok. </p>
<p>And the best thing about high school memories are that they can be forgiving. Several years after graduating I ran into an acquaintance from high school. We had been in drama together. She had been from the very wealthy part of town. I always thought that she, while gawky and not fabulous looking, was very self assured. After talking for awhile she took a deep breath and told me how much she had admired me in high school because I always knew what I was doing and always looked great. The truth was that we lived in an apartment and I shopped well.</p>
<p>I went into shock and realized that what we perceive as the truth in high school isn’t necessarily so. I wasn’t who she thought I was nor she who I thought. And yes, she was still very gawky…and a few months later she wound up starring on a tv show. Never a beauty, but talented.</p>
<p>I went to a girl’s boarding school (well 2/3 boarding anyway) where I was a day student for 3 years and a boarder my last year. Small class where I knew everyone slightly. I haven’t been to the last couple of reunions because of conflicts, but I really have enjoyed the ones I’ve been to. My best friends don’t always make it, but I’ve discovered that some of the nicest and most interesting women are ones I barely knew back then. At least when I was younger I also really enjoyed meeting the older women back for their reunions too. There were always some activities open to all the classes. Sort of horrifying to think that would be me now! </p>
<p>It’s also been interesting to hear how others in the class perceived me. Smarter and more intellectual than I thought of myself!</p>
<p>The one thing that always surprises me is how many of my classmates came from wealthy families and are much wealthier than me now. It was not nearly so obvious when we were all either in uniforms (the first few years) or jeans (the last year).</p>
<p>I plan on continuing to be absent for all of my high school reunions. Why start going, now? I have a perfect track record, and live in the adjacent area of my old school. It’s not about distance to travel to get to a reunion. </p>
<p>High school was okay, but the connections I made there who are my true friends will be friends whether I go back and visit the rest of the group. We see each other periodically without reunions. I don’t particularly care for those who continue to organize our reunions and live in the “glory days”. </p>
<p>High school was a step towards college for me. I have little interest in reliving high school - even for one weekend!</p>
<p>Update from previous post:</p>
<p>Yesterday, I’m minding my own business on FB, and here pops up a chat from a woman who was my BFF from 5th-7th grade and with whom I remained friendly through sophomore year. After that, I was unclear what happened. We really caught up. It was nice. And this morning I get a FB request from someone who I never particularly cared for, but for some reason I’m feeling really open to it all and will friend him. But something tells me HE won’t be my new BFF.</p>
<p>My tenth HS reunion was freaking awesome. Despite a class of only 70ish students, half the attendees didn’t recognize me because I had changed so much. I don’t think I’ll need to attend again.</p>
<p>I recently went to my 40th. I never would have gone except that a number of us have reconnected on Facebook during the past couple of years and I thought it would be interesting.</p>
<p>I had an ok time in high school. It was neither the highlight nor the lowlight of my life. I mixed between a number of different groups and knew (if slightly) most of the people in our 450 person graduating class (many of us had been together since kindergarten.)</p>
<p>So . . . was it worth it? I guess. About 150 people showed up - pretty much cut across the social strata of high school. Everyone mixed well. It was nice to see people I hadn’t seen for 40 years. </p>
<p>The problem was that I had the same conversation over and over - tell me about your kids, spouse, where you live, what you do . . . and so on. No opportunity to REALLY talk to those I was REALLY interested in. That was disappointing.</p>
<p>Best thing about the night? If you didn’t know we were all the same age, you’d have thought there was about a 25 year age span in the room. Happy to say I looked on the young end!!</p>
<p>Perceptions sure did change in the 40 years. My favorite was a good friend from elementary school…who told me she was always jealous of my clothes! I wore ALL hand me downs. <em>I</em> was jealous of her beautiful clothes…her mom sewed (and very nicely I might add) all of her clothes. </p>
<p>And another friend was envious of the apartment <em>I</em> lived in while I thought her Victorian house was the cat’s meow.</p>
<p>So funny!!</p>
<p>I enjoy my reunions. Part of the reason is because I no longer live in the area, so rarely see anyone. Unfortunately, it’s getting harder and harder for me to remember people. I had a very large class. I remember sitting there at my graduation, realizing that I only knew about half of the names being called. </p>
<p>There is a funny story from my last reunion. A very drunk man came up to our table of women. He slurred a few sentences and left. Someone asked who he was. I remembered him. I had asked him to the Sadie Hawkins dance and he turned me down. I heard that later that night he passed out and everyone was debating who should drive him home. </p>
<p>I hosted a brunch at my parents’ house the next morning. It was really nice to replay the night’s events and catch up with my closest friends.</p>
<p>When it comes to politics, I grew up in a wealthy Republican area and H grew up in a blue-collar Democratic area. Our schools merged for high school. It was very enlightening. Now H is the Republican and I am the Democrat.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Visited my parents this summer and discovered that my Junior High (back then it was 7-9) was being torn down. Stood there for a while watching the huge munching machine take bites out of Mr. Adamson’s math room, and Mr Garland’s social studies room, and the yearbook room. Wow. I couldn’t decide if I was sad or happy.<br>
THey muched it all up and piled all the different materials into different piles. Shrubs into mulch, cinderblock into gravel, metal into a recycling pile… so many memories crunched up into bits. </p>
<p>Back on topic: I loved high school and had many friends from all groups. Moved away and made a different life. Went to my 10th, found it kind of boring, had no hair due to chemo for my 20th so I skipped it, (later heard from several people “Oh, I heard you died…” ) No interest in another reunion - Facebook takes care of the folks I want to keep track of.</p>
<p>Still debating whether to attend my 30th. Went to the 20th and swore I’d never go again - it was expensive, the music was too loud to talk (hello, it’s a reunion, people want to TALK), and the people I wanted to see weren’t there.</p>
<p>Now I’m FB friends with many people, and I live 200 miles from my hs hometown. Part of me feels as if I SHOULD go because I’m a new empty nester, and I’m trying to do things that are about ME instead of about my kids. But I’m really ambivalent and don’t feel like traveling and spending the money.</p>
<p>Favorite high school reunion movie - “Grosse Pointe Blanke.”</p>
<p>Ah, good times.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>That happened to me at my 35th reunion a couple of years ago. It was rather awkward, and I was so nervous ahead of time knowing that would probably happen that I almost turned around and left without going in. One man noticed my name tag and asked me if I knew a ------ with the same last name who’d been in his class, and was I maybe that person’s wife? No, not exactly.</p>
<p>Fortunately, it wasn’t quite that embarrassing with anyone else; most people figured it out on their own eventually (maybe they remembered the little notice I put in the class notes in the school alumni magazine five years ago.) Still, I’m not sure I want to go to the next one.</p>
<p>I was out of the country for my 5th year high school reunion, which probably would have been a nice one because most people wouldn’t have been well-established just yet. But I went to the 10th instead, which I felt some people attended just so they could gloat about who didn’t turn out well. I had been voted “Most Likely to Succeed,” but was a stay-at-home-mom at that time and felt rather insecure about it. One girl, whom I never cared much for, made an obnoxious comment about the incongruity of that, and it hurt a lot.</p>
<p>Right around the same time, my closest high school girlfriend started sending out very braggy Christmas letters about her idyllic life, and then as the years passed, she wrote about her perfectly accomplished children. I began to feel that the high school crowd was competing with each other. I already knew that “losing” was no fun, and figured that “winning” would be no better since that would mean someone else would feel bad or envious about me. So I never went to another one, though I did attend two mini-reunions. I thoroughly enjoyed them, but as one of the few in the group who had moved away from the town where we grew up, I was clearly out of the loop. They all still kept in touch since if they didn’t live in the same town, they lived within a 15 or 20 minute drive. In some cases, my friends’ kids were now best friends too. At times I wished I was a part of their close community, but at other moments I suspected I’d feel suffocated if I actually were still back there and had all the same friends I’d had years ago.</p>
<p>Ellebud- I didn’t have a good time in high school, but I enjoyed the reunion</p>
<p>And the best thing about high school memories are that they can be forgiving.</p>
<p>I left the traditional high school ( we actually lived in Bridle Trails in Kirkland & I attended Lake Washington not Bellevue), when the vice principal automatically suspended everyone who was in the " smoking bathroom", ( it was the most centrally located- what are ya gonna do? )- The suspension was for three day- but I told my parents, I wasn’t going back- and they found me an alternative school in the district.
But I had attended jr high/elementary school as well with many of the students at the reunion.</p>
<p>In the past year I have been so much more cognizant of " life is short". My mother died, my dog died & both my kids are pretty much out of the house. </p>
<p>I didn’t stay in touch with anyone since I moved away from the suburbs & wasn’t really interested in reconnecting with more than a couple, but the reunion for me, was more about validating my own sense that I had changed.</p>
<p>I had been painfully shy in high school, not on the college track so I never got any of the electives I wanted & bored to death besides, but while I expect earlier reunions were more about comparing jobs/ straightness of children’s teeth & the flatness of the spouses abs, I imagined that the 35th would be much more relaxed.</p>
<p>It was very relaxed & even though there were some people who had issues- which surprised me- but most people were much more grounded and relaxed than they were as teens.</p>
<p>*I went into shock and realized that what we perceive as the truth in high school isn’t necessarily so. *</p>
<p>My best " friend" from high school was still ** very focused** on perceived social standing- it went beyond amusing to disturbing 
. I had been " friends" with her, because in school, I had 0 social skills & she wanted someone who would never disagree with her & she would get pis*y, if I ever did.</p>
<p>For instance there was one young man who she viewed as way above my social echelon & desirable . but whom she could never get interested in her, in fact he couldn’t stand her. ( his family also attended church with our family & his mom was my Dr.)
After high school, I went out with him briefly, when I was temporarily broken up with my now H, but while we had a lot in common, I was still in/am love with H. </p>
<p>Anyway- he was at the reunion & I didn’t really recognize him( the men look so different! he had cut his hair & traded his army jacket for a sport coat!!) , but he approached me & we chatted for a while- afterwards " K" came up to me & was all " was that?!!!" and going off on how people had arranged themselves according to popularity in high school W<em>T</em>F*? 
I just made a comment about " that doesn’t matter anymore" :rolleyes: and escaped.</p>
<p>Oh- another woman ( who I didn’t recognize even when I saw her name) for some reason was *absolutely obsessed with finding my picture in the yearbook and showing my H. I tried to be polite and stood there for a minute or two, but what sort of shocking revelation did she think a class photo was going to be? ( I think she just wanted to talk to H, he is pretty good looking & in * great shape compared to many of the men at the reunion even if he is several years older)
We have been married for 29 years , he has been through the births of our two children, and I have known him since I was 18! I mean I hope I still have a few surprises left, but what I looked like in high school, wasn’t one of them.
:D</p>
<p>Even though I hadn’t stayed in contact with people for the past 30 years, there is comfort in reconnecting with people that you knew when you were young ( especially when except for my siblings, I don’t have anyone left). I have been talking to a few on FB & am planning on going to a nearby restaurant that some alumni own for another get together.</p>
<p>I really don’t know any of the political affiliations of people from high school (except for my very closest friends), and frankly, I don’t care. I can’t imagine using that to make a judgement upon them, and honestly, after not seeing someone for decades, why would you talk about politics?</p>
<p>I enjoyed my 20th reunion, and am contemplating going to my 30th soon. I was very quiet in high school, and found it interesting that the people who would be considered successful by todays standards, were typically the quiet ones, who didn’t stand out. The “popular kids” often didn’t even further their education.</p>
<p>I was very taken aback by one woman, who had always been in a wheelchair (celebral palsy, never was able to talk), who kept grasping my hand, smiling, and trying to say something to me. Apparently I was very nice to her in high school (though I don’t remember much from so many years ago). I hadn’t felt like I made much of an impression upon anyone, though thankfully I didn’t care all that much!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I didn’t get to the reunion until it was mostly over ( which I am sad/glad about, cause I wouldn’t want to be in more pictures than I already was- my dad had been a photographer & I never liked having my picture taken- but I did change my FB pic to one that was taken at the reunion 
)- I originally only found out about the reunion on facebook- during last christmas when I was home by myself & I was feeling morose & looking for people that I knew & saw an old friend from high school, who then encouraged me to attend- Facebook is also where later I noted religious/political affiliations when being * friended<a href=“I%20didn’t%20notice%20anyone%20talking%20politics%20@%20reunion”>/i</a> , but IMO * noting a connection* does not = “judging”.</p>
<p>We didn’t talk about whether or not someone " furthered their education",
(however, since I didn’t graduate & transferred to an alternative high school when I was 16, I did mention that to a friend who had wondered what happened to me),
I expect that college was discussed in earlier reunions, but by the 35th, it was very relaxed and while I did talk with others about their work ( several people work at H’s workplace, so that also gave him some common ground), we also talked about what our kids were doing, recent travels, where we lived, etc. </p>
<p>I am a lot happier than I was in high school, and like a lot of the women there, I haven’t changed in appearance that much so I had a lot of comments about how great I looked which was embarrassing- but something that I found enjoyable, was that even though the men had mostly changed a great deal & I only knew who they were by the name on their name tag, I was able to talk to them as easily as if I had seen them last week.
It’s interesting how with some people it is awkward, but others it is so much more relaxed.</p>
<p>In some ways, it seemed more relaxed than a dinner party or something with people I know now, even though my friends now, I have known for the same lenght of time- its just I met them as adults, and the people from high school, I knew from childhood.</p>
<p>Or maybe it was the nametags ( I am awful with names & I need nametags!)
:o</p>
<p>I went to my 10th and 20th but none since then. My high school is in rural Oregon, and once my parents moved away there was much less reason to drive that far out of the way and no longer a good place to stay once we got there.</p>
<p>Everyone still looked pretty good at the 10th and <em>some</em> still looked good at 20th, but others had gone to seed - gained a lot of weight and/ or went completely bald or gray.</p>
<p>The saddest case, IMO, was the girl show showed up at the 10th all dolled-up so much no one recognized her. Turns out she had been preparing for the reunion for years. Made herself over, lost weight, got buff, bought flashy hair and sexy clothes, tons of make-up, and even got breast implants. According to her friends it was all for that reunion. She wanted to be the Belle of the Ball - to show up the popular girls and have all the boys who had ignored her before want to dance with her now.</p>
<p>I felt sorry for her for being so stuck in the past and obsessing over her high school popularity or lack thereof. Heck, in high school I was the president of the Science Club for crying out loud. That should tell you just how lowly my status was. But I had long since moved on. This girl apparently couldn’t for some reason.</p>
<p>urns out she had been preparing for the reunion for years. Made herself over, lost weight, got buff, bought flashy hair and sexy clothes, tons of make-up, and even got breast implants</p>
<p>That * is * sad. It’s one thing to do all that for yourself ( if that is the sort of thing you want)- but to do it for other people who you don’t know sounds really lonely.</p>
<p>I think it can be easy to get fixated on " when I lose ten lbs, get that promotion/car/house, * then*…" their life will suddenly start. It also takes the pressure off how they are currently living their life to someday in the future.</p>
<p>But life doesn’t go on hold & while it is important to have goals- things don’t go as planned & you have to work with what you have & that isn’t as much time as we think.</p>
<p>The saddest case, IMO, was the girl show showed up at the 10th all dolled-up so much no one recognized her. Turns out she had been preparing for the reunion for years.</p>
<p>But I bet by the 35th- she would barely have remembered what she did for the 10th & is much happier.</p>
<p>I think for me, the most valuable part of the reunion, wasn’t talking to people I was awed by in high school & finding how nice & friendly they are, or ranking people by their income/sq footage ( as a couple were), but acknowledging to myself that I have come a long way from the painfully shy person I used to be, to someone that * likes* to seek out challenging situations, where I even travel by myself by choice.</p>