<p>to the OP, what helped my D was thinking of the bully as a bug…yep, in our house, we called them IT, after the giant ants in an old movie that were out to destroy the world but for no apparent reason </p>
<p>using humor, thinking how pathetic she is, etc and that you are better than that, and moving on is the best thing you can do for yourself</p>
<p>I wasn’t addressing your own or your childrens situation
I just disagree that the instances cited, do not seem to me evidence of bullying behavior</p>
<p>I also have known children who did subtle things to continue bullying behavior for whatever reason- attention- selfsatisfaction in a perverse way that they are being “picked” on-?
I don’t know, but I have been in schools a lot, and I haven’t seen it be truly one-sided</p>
<p>As a kid who /has/ had a stalker…I think you are dramatizing a bit (but I can understand parents not getting it - my mom wanted me to date the guy!). She sounds more like a person who just annoys you. I think it’s funny you list her getting reinvolved with her ex-boyfriend as somehow evidence of her stalking you. By all accounts, she could make /you/ out to be the stalker by dating her ex to begin with! The only problem I can foresee is you running into her, and her thinking she’s your friend. And the only way to go about shaking off unwanted company is to be upfront and say, “I don’t like you and I don’t want to hang out with you”.</p>
<p>Stalking is serious business and I can speak to this as the parent of a child who endured unbelievable psychological torment for almost two years. At issue was repeated middle of the night property trespass, threats against our entire family, physical assault and ultimately intervention by law enforcement and the courts. For two years, I worried daily about her safety, even on her high school campus. The details are painful and I am grateful those days are behind us. And yes, one of the reasons our d attends school 1200 miles away is the fact that this person was convicted, given 2 years probation and still resides near our home. </p>
<p>I do not think the OP’s situation is remotely a stalking situation. But I do think the OP is justified in her desire to have her college experience be a fresh start and it is understandable that she would be disappointed to see a person who she considered ‘finished business’ potentially re-emerging in her daily life. To the OP…I think the best way to handle this is as other posters have suggested. Do what you would normally do, don’t allow this person to enter your decision-making process in anyway. WUSTL is big enough that you can successfully have a life that doesn’t include this girl if you make up your mind that this is what you want. It’s your college experience; you’ve earned it. Make the most of it and don’t let old news ruin it for you.</p>
<p>I don’t know if I am too late coming in on this one, but you used two pretty benign examples from the 6th grade in order to show that this girl was stalking you, when she very likely has no recollection of those trivial encounters. People change and grow a lot in 10 years, stop harboring such an intense obsession towards her. She doesn’t sound too crazy or manipulative from how you have painted her, and this is after all your side of the story. You read the message she posted on someone else’s facebook and have posted here multiple times based on it…it seems like you care about her far, far more than she cares about you. I say, get over it. Don’t think about her, she probably isn’t thinking about you. Get over your delusions of grandeur, you are likely not an important part of her life, why should she be important to you?</p>
<p>Unregistered,</p>
<p>Actually, I used more than two examples. If you read my post, then you’ll see that there were things that she did during 12th grade and college that angered me and freaked me out. (such as the cheating incident or the middle school boyfriend incident)</p>
<p>I guess that you parents have a valid point. I worked my butt off to get to Washington University in St. Louis, and no one is going to ruin it for me. If she tries to start her high school stuff here at WUSTL, then I will ignore her.</p>
<p>You don’t know the issue surrounding the middle school boyfriend incident, but I’d imagine that she should be given the benefit of the doubt. I mentioned the two examples from the 6th grade to illustrate my point, I know that you gave more overall.</p>
<p>Who did she accuse you of cheating to? What, exactly, did she say?</p>
<p>She told my English teacher. For our presentation, we had an activity, which involved using Play-Doh. She told our teacher that we actually took that idea from them although our group never had any contact with their group. Also, she and another member of their group badmouthed and threatened us. It was completly unbelievable.</p>
<p>Wash U is a big institution: It’s not like high school, where people are likely to see each other a lot because of sharing classes.</p>
<p>From what you’ve posted, it sounds like you find her irritating and she has done some very irritating things. However, you haven’t posted anything that sounds like she’s stalking you. Wash U is the best school in St. Louis, and since both of you are from there, it doesn’t surprise me that she may wish to go to her hometown college. Her decision may have absolutely nothing to do with you.</p>
<p>Unless once you transferred to Wash U, you started hanging out with all of your h.s. friends, I doubt that if she manages to transfer there, she’ll be part of your life except for sharing the same large campus.</p>
<p>vtoodler-
Is sounds like you are a bright young lady. You understand there is little you can do at this point (except pray that she changes her mind and/or doesn’t get into WashU!). It also sounds like what you might be wanting is a little support and understanding for how you feel, since you aren’t getting it from your mom. So, suffice it to say, we are all sorry you are possibly going to have to occupy the same campus as a severe pain in the —who you thought you had finally gotten away from. Unfortuantely, until she becomes a direct bother to you, not much you can do except ignore here adn follow some of aires suggestions. I assume she is NOT listed as a friend in your facebook account, and if she is silly enough to ask to be included, well-- duh, … no.</p>
<p>CityGirls’Mom has some good advice that should be heeded by anyone who is dealing with a psycho, bully, irritating person, or stalker. I’m not sure that the exact nature of this person’s problem changes the advice given - living well IS the best revenge, and there are some basic privacy things that people should do, anyway. (Think of all the job interview situations where the employer looks on Facebook!)</p>
<p>Conyat, can you cross-post with the paedophile thread? Your point about women and their intuition is completely correct - we would all be better off if we obeyed our intuition instead of our training to be nice and sweet.</p>
<p>Go with your intuition, smart, manipulative people usually obsess in ways that initially are not going to raise other’s eyebrows, but you may be aware of an underlying oddness that bystanders cannot sense.</p>
<p>I had a friend in college, we stayed friends for years, we moved 500 miles away, she and her husband joined us there a few years later, it was wonderful, but later it got weird. She became a bit obessed with me/us in a manner of keeping up with the Jones’ always trying to keep score, but others really could not see it at first. Sufficed to say, after many years of just feeling there was something odd and trying to not ever give her any new projects on which to obsess, I later had outside corroboration from claose friends who originally thought I was the odd one thinking my life was soo important to this woman.</p>
<p>What others have posted is so true, living well is the best, live your own life, try not to think much about her, be careful saying much of this to others, they may think you are weird, but try not to come into her sphere of influence, don’t be a target of her interest whenever possible.</p>
<p>Take the high road and impress people with how wonderful you are and avoid her and the subject of her. Stalking is likely too strong a term, she is not following you daily and physically threatening, but she may very well have a fixation on you and that unhealthy energy is what you are sensing!</p>